Sister Chevron, I know it is quite a bit to swallow and very difficult to digest after being so devoutly committed to something only to find out that it is nothing but pure fabrication. One of the primary tools of this religion ( Christianity) besides fear is is to completely brainwash ( Indoctrinate ) it's followers, so I completely understand the confusion. It's like man, I can't believe that I have been lied to for so so long.. But it is like I have said before ( It is easy to tell a lie to someone who wants to believe it ). The world is full of people who even in the face of contradiction will vigorously and faithfully stand behind and defend that lie. Why, you don't even have to go back very far in American history to see this. Just take a look at this past presidential election. Thank you for sharing your thoughts sister Chevron.