Black Relationships : Bisexuality

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by _NortheastGroover_, Jul 12, 2014.

  1. _NortheastGroover_

    _NortheastGroover_ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    My intentions with this thread was to ask this question then follow up with another question to address a larger issue within our community. Now obviously it work out the way I did in my mind so I'm going to do this over...

    Now what inspired me to bring up this subject was a conversation I had with a friend of mine (a stud/dom) and her brother (a feminine boy/transgender), which got me thinking about a lot that I've personally seen in the past but never gave thought too until now.

    And the reason im talking about bisexuality instead of homosexuality is because I'm referring to people out here who like girls but mess with dudes discreetly. And living in the Washington DC-Baltimore area I see this a lot, especially among the youth (25 and younger). After speaking with my friend and her brother, my eyes have really opened to alotta things, I'm not going to get into the explicit details of the conversation but I'll let these statistics do the talking:


    http://www.childsafeeducation.com/statistics.html

    http://www.bcaci.org/get_help/signs_of_abuse

    I feel like this is something that seriously needs to be discussed when we talk about homosexuality/bisexuality in our community. Especially when we hear people like Dr Frances Cress Welsing talk about the effeminization of the black male and so on. Well it has a root cause, I get tired of hearing people say "it's something in the air" when discussing the youth (25 and younger, which would include me :)).

    And when I talked to females about what I was talking about, which is why I asked the sistahs on destee the question, they was just flat out like "oh naw them ****** is down low faggies **** all that lol" even when I broke it down to them that some of these dudes are victims it just seems no matter the circumstances they just can't handle the fact that the dude they're messing with ever having done anything with another male.

    That puts these dudes in a position where they have constantly live with secrets/burdens/demons they can never shake or get rid of because if they open up about it, to a person they assume cares about them, they'll have to worry about being abandoned instead of receiving the emotional support they need to face/deal with their past. And I can say from personal experience that when you keep negative things inside they manifest on the outside in negative ways. Using myself as an example, without being detailed and too personal, my family situation was messed up and made me abandoned. Being out in the streets I got developed some bad habits (drinking them four lokos, popping pills, I smoked too but pills was my thing) I was out here living reckless mainly because I was dealing with demons that I couldn't let go, so I know that these brothers who were corrupted at impressionable ages are facing similar denons (if they didn't become gay).

    So I'm hoping to talk about this issue and hope something good comes out it, especially a way that we can help these brothers straighten their lives out.

    [I am using the term bisexual the same way my female friends used it. Meaning, not necessarily one who actively has sex with both sexes, but as a man who has ever done anything gay - willingly or unwillingly - period.]
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2014
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    The chances are great we'd never know who the other person sexed ... unless they told us.

    I'd imagine few folk are so forthcoming as to honestly list all of their sexual partners prior to engaging in the current sexual opportunity ... let alone admit that they've had same sex engagements. Shoot, most can't probably remember all of their sexual partners even if they wanted to list 'em. This goes for men and women.

    But if they were so honest ... i'd thank them for that honesty ... and decline.

    It's not what I want.

    Which is why i think most aren't honest, because it will mean fewer sexual opportunities.

    Which leaves any one of us with the possibility that we already have ... unaware.

    Why do you ask ... ?? ... if you don't mind sharing.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    interracial? bi sexual? what?:10500:
     
  4. _NortheastGroover_

    _NortheastGroover_ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The question came to mind after me and a friend of mine (with her brother, who is a gay feminine boy) was watching a video about studs (masculine gay females) having sex with men. And then the conversation went from that to her telling me about her cousin who was locked up a year ago after serving 9yrs and he admitted to having sex with men because he was lonely and going through issues with his babymoms or something like that. Then the brother went on to show me pictures of dudes who mess with him on the DL, I was literally in shock because its men you just wouldn't suspect.

    So I started thinking about things. This country is so chaotic mentally and the black community by extension is also chaotic mentally, and I know I'm preaching to the choir here on destee when I say that.

    One of the things that is really chaotic in our community is the prevalence of not just DL brothers but just plain chaotic sexual energy. Especially with the brothers who have been sexually abused.

    So I'm wondering how are families suppose to be built if we, black people, can't communicate and be accepted for whatever baggage we come with. Because I thoroughly believe that these kids are out being reckless and highly sexual, and some of the most reckless and sexual of them are victims of sexual abuse.

    And if his girl/woman/wife wont support or help him confront these demons by first allowing him to b open with you without fear of abandonment how r we suppose to be a strong unit.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Thanks for answering my question ... interesting.

    Thanks for sharing.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. _NortheastGroover_

    _NortheastGroover_ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    And I'm not talking bout the consciousness community, unless it applies. I'm talking bout these knuckleheads/these yungings/our future running the streets acting crazy because I love them too.
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    If you love them why are you calling them names?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. _NortheastGroover_

    _NortheastGroover_ Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The same reason why some peoples parents or older siblings call them names (knucklehead, hardheaded, etc etc) but love them nonetheless.
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    I don't call my children or siblings names ... or anyone i love ... but i suppose some folk do.

    If that's good enough reason for you to do it, because others do ... carry on.

    If others jump off a bridge, have same sex engagements, etc., will you do that too?

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. butterfly#1

    butterfly#1 going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I don't /won't...share my man with anyone ...man or woman. So, bi-sexual relationship ... I'm not interested.

    I could be a friend and offer support, if that might be something they'd be interested in.
     
  11. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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