Black Relationships : Biggest Issues in Black relationships

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Coach707, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What do you guys think are the biggest obstacles that deter black men and women from getting together and staying together?



    I think that black women have been scarred by the absence of the black man in the upbringing of their children. Dont get me wrong, I know that there are many black men that are handling their business with their kids, but the fact still remains that there is a majority of our black children being raised in single parent homes. When black women are forced to become a father and a mother, does it created hostility towards men? Does it make it more difficult for other men to establish a relationship with her?



    Our black men are still struggling to find our identity in this white man's world. Neglect from our own fathers, and no positive role models to show us how to treat a woman prevents us from relating to the sensitivities of women. Certainly not all, but many black men cannot thrive in a relationship because the weight of the world is damaging to the state of mind. The lack of resources and the thought that "knowlege doesnt pay bills" makes personal growth difficult. This leads to poor descisions and devastating consequences that are handed down from generation to generation.


    Any opinions?
     
  2. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Monogamy,honesty, stability and growth!
     
  3. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a very interesting thread... I'm going to think on this for a bit... and hit you back up... nice thread coach....
     
  4. sonnee01

    sonnee01 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmmmm....

    Hi there Coach707....Dating a black woman is not hard, if he listens carefully she will tell him everything he needs to know.. but the key is he has to listen to the spoken and the un-spoken words. Having an open line of communiction I feel is key in maintaining a solid realtionship. Once the communication breaks down everthing else follows.... in my opinion.
     
  5. jgyknowledge

    jgyknowledge Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think the bigges issue in Black relationships are the stereotypes that Blacks themselves bring to the relationship.

    Black men and Black women need to listen and learn from what the other person is saying. I find that most arguments come from how something is said, and that the majority of the time we both mean something similar. So we end up :fight: each other.
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This statement is nothing short of profound!
     
  7. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think one of the main problems is that black men and women really don't believe in eachother anymore. We don't really see the importance of supporting eachother. I think people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and in turn they act surprised when it doesn't work out. Plus, I feel many people enter into relationships knowing good and well that they aren't really looking for anything serious and aren't really willing to do what it takes to keep someone around.
     
  8. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    True, so very true!
     
  9. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Very interesting comments ladies and gentlemen. I think that this is on its way to becoming an epidemic itself. I also that we need to relize that the average white family has an alarming advantage when it comes to wealth simply because they are able to get together and stay together. As the age old saying goes, "Two heads are better than one." White couples seem to have the ability to marry and attain wealth together. Besides, with the economy being in such disarray (Gas prices at an all time high, interest rates sky rocketing and a National trillion dollar defecit.) now is the time more than ever before to try to make it "together."
     
  10. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I believe that too many Blacks have been programmed to self-destruct when it comes to mating. I think too many women and men are too caught up with looking for mates among those they've been programmed by their community or the general society to think are appealing or suitable. Many others who may be suitable are crossed off the list or are invisible.

    Because of the uneven numbers, I think that women should begin to look outside of the males who are stereotyped to be the suitable or appealing ones because many of us are just not going to be able to get one of those men. You can't force a man to want you, love you, or respect you and too many women end up losing their self-respect trying to force the issue.

    Some Black women won't consider a man if he's got a different religious background or no religious background or if he's from another group or age bracket. IMO, Black women must stop having tunnel vision if we want to find real love before we dry up.
     
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