Black Relationships : Being Overlooked By Good Black Men

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Kelis0314, May 21, 2014.

  1. Kelis0314

    Kelis0314 New Member MEMBER

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    I haven't been in a serious relationship in about 4 or 5 years now and I got to be honest, it really sucks. My friends think I'm just being picky but the truth is I have met guys that I do like, it's just nothing ever comes out of getting to know any of them. I'm 32 with no kids, no drama, and a good job but it seems like no one I meet with the same qualifications ever wants to date me. I live in a town where it's becoming more and more common to see black men going after white women, especially the good ones who have something going for themselves. Please don't get me wrong, I have no issues with interracial dating and this isn't just me ranting about black men going with white women. I must admit though, after what I've been experiencing lately, I'm beginning to think that's one of the main reasons why I'm having such a hard time meeting someone and it's a little frustrating because I know I'm not any of those stereotypes that often get pinned to black women as excuses for not dating us. Usually if a black man does want to talk to me, they're either too young, having baby mama drama, no real ambitions in life, immature, or thugging (yes, even in their 30s). I've also tried dating outside of my race but the white men I've met were only interested in "experimenting" and I'm more attracted to black and Hispanic men. I really don't know what to do at this point and I'm really ready to just give up on ever meeting anyone in my town, going out of state is becoming more and more of a possible option, even more so if it means leaving the south. I've gone so far as to try and change my preferences up a little bit and look past some things that I know I don't want in a mate but feels like I'm settling and I'm not that happy in my current situation as a result. Is it silly for me to feel this way? Anyone else currently or ever experience this?
     
  2. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    1. Relax, even Halle Berry had a dry spell.

    2. Do you require too much work? Even if I'm on your level, I don't want another job

    3. Do your homework, find out where the guys you like hang

    4. Are the female friend you hang with, the stereotype? It may be guilt by association

    5. If you have had the standard from day one, don't change it. There is nothing wrong with a reasonable standard

    6. If you have a degree and he's an electrician, and you think he's beneath you. Maybe we have identified something

    7. Alaska has more men that women. :lol:

    8. You a dawg, using mihns like Kleenex and the word is out! :lol:






    .
     
  3. novek

    novek Active Member MEMBER

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    So number 6 is real, women really think like this? This explains alot.

    I got into an arguement with my ex. She's a RN and I'm blue collar; we both make the same amount and in her anger she blurted out; "you uneducated POS". I brushed it off as an isolated incident specific to her but looks like it was not as specific as I thought.
     
  4. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Your description of yourself sounds like how a man would describe himself.. that could be the problem.
    It sounds like you're looking for somekind of automated match.. where you submit some numbers and a dude comes out.. that's not how it works.

    what you need to do is stop being so up front.. go out and buy a blond lace-front.. and get a couple of tattoos... something like "baby girl".. or "bad bitc#".. also.. get you some ratchet clothes.. then hit the club..
    also be sure to chew some gum and let your mouth hang open a little bit.. dudes will be all over you like white on rice.. and all kinds of dudes... single dudes.. married dudes.. tall dudes.. short dudes.. fat dudes.. skinny dudes.. professional dudes.. unemployed dudes... you name it..

    - good luck..
     
  5. houserunner

    houserunner Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    #urong4dat

    lol
     
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  6. Josh X Brown

    Josh X Brown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    As Salaam Alaikum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What are you really looking for? And the Person you meet what is he looking for?
    With most relationships in these times they do not work because there is no foundation to begin to build on.

    God,Marriage,family and building and helping should be your base. And for the man you meet God,marriage, securing,protecting and mantaining should be his base.

    What type of work do you do to attract the Kind of Man you should have?
     
  7. Josef

    Josef Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you and a Brother happen to lock eyes for a few seconds,...and he happens to give you a quick acknowledgement nod or simply says hello,
    Dont be soo quick to assume that he is hitting on you while giving him the cold shoulder.

    This happens to me often, mainly by Black Women...
     
  8. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Some say "like attracts like."

    If you are a Black woman who looks at profession first and dates outside of her race for more comparable companionship; you'll probably qualify for a Black man who looks at profession first and dates outside his race for more comparable companionship. Trouble with that is two Black people can't date outside of their race and date each other.

    You have all these troubles with Black men: too young, having baby mama drama, no real life ambitions in life, immature, or thugging. Maybe you are projecting? I.e. maybe a love one of yours had these problems or worse these problems reflect your self-image.

    Maybe you keep telling yourself you are old, have no kids, no drama, lots of life ambitions, maturity and you ain't 'thugging.' But if all of this were true, why do you attract the sort?

    In this introduction alone you mentioned your age, your lack of kids and drama, your job, your 'black men got the problem' mentality, and your judgmental attitude and 'outside experiments.' Your slump is self-explanatory. It's not the Brothers--they have no trouble finding women--it's you.
     
  9. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    Peace

    May I humbly suggest yoga and or meditation to increase your vibration.
     
  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    expand your reach.
    use the internet. travel. move. conventions. professional organizations.
    there may not be enough fish in your pond. try a larger one.

    good luck
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2014
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