Thoughts compiling in my head ~ wondering how I could have been so mslead ~ I thought you liked ~ why couldn't I see...through that smile and lusty gaze was the awful truth I was just a game. Why couldn't I see you for what you really are ~ and me for what I'm truly worth? placed you on a pedestal so high ~ now I'm trying to comprehend why? Why was I so willing to let myself die? Because each time I tried to get your attention and each time I tried to keep it...I lost a part of me I lost my self pride. Now I'm broken on the floor picking up ruby red pieces of glass ~ trying to wear a mask to shield the pain...the pain you caused and left me wondering, why? What did you really have to gain by causing so much pain? All you did was strip a sister of herself, why? Why was I so blind ~ I failed to see every sign...chasing a heart that had already been won ~ you're interest in me was just for fun. Ruby red pieces of class that use to unite to form the rarest jewel of all...MY HEART ~ now broken. Trying to pick up the pieces down on bended knees...trying to figure out where do I even start. With each red ruby piece reflects a moment...and with every piece of glass a drop of blood is shed because I realized the truth behind each moment...it cuts me up inside...and all I can ask myself is why? Why didn't I give up the first time you almost made me cry? Why? Why didn't I walk away and get over you? Why did I deny myself my worth? Why couldn't I see.... NOW RISEN FROM BENDED KNEES I STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET...LISTENING TO MY HEART AND THE PAIN IT STILL CRIES. PROTECTING IT WELL...SOOTHING ITS ACHE...BUT NOW I SEE THINGS LUCIDLY...BABY I'M AWAKE!! Dreams of us holding hands, embrace in each others arms...sharing quiet moments and intimate talks have dissipated in the wind. No longer do those dreams weigh down my mind. and burden my heart. Now I'm fixed standing tall like a tree that doesn't bend. My heart has been mend[ed]...my self-pride IS BACK!