Black Jokes Humor : Baked Beans

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by dstny, Oct 18, 2005.

  1. dstny

    dstny Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will.

    Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a
    maddening passion for baked beans.

    She loved them but unfortunately, they had always
    had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
    to her.

    Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

    When it became apparent that they would marry
    she thought to herself,
    "He is such a sweet and gentle man,
    he would never go for this carrying on."

    She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

    Some months later her car broke down
    on the way home from work, since
    she lived in the country she called her husband
    and told him that she would be late
    because she had to walk home.

    On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of
    the baked beans was more than she could stand.

    Since she still had miles to walk,
    she figured that she would walk off

    So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it,
    she had consumed 3 large orders of baked beans.

    All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving
    home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

    Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
    delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner
    tonight."

    He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the
    table.

    She seated herself and just as he was about
    to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone
    rang.

    He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until
    he returned.

    He then went to answer the telephone.
    The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting
    her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so
    while her husband was out of the room
    she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one
    leg and let it go.

    It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
    truck running a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.

    She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
    vigorously.

    Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three
    more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

    Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the
    other room, she went on like this for another ten
    minutes.

    When the phone farewells signaled the end of her
    freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her
    napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon
    it, smiling contentedly to herself.

    She was the picture of innocence when her husband
    returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her
    if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.

    At this point, he removed the blindfold,
    and she was surprised!

    There were twelve dinner guests seated around the
    table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!
     
  2. Nisa

    Nisa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :eek: oh ****....:gas: :haha: :haha:
    That was funny...oh goodness lmao
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Lmbo............this one really did it this time .....lol
     
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