Black Relationships : Baggage?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by cocobutterskyn, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What constitutes relationship baggage?

    Any input is appreciated.


    MaddSistahlyLove!
    Coco:heart:
     
  2. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    baggage

    is what is brought into a relationship which has to be dealt with or tolerated

    :happens:

    anything

    so is your partner willing to endure that baggage with you

    is the baggage long-term or can it be dropped off soon?

    everyone carries baggage from relationship to relationship everyone

    how much you're willing to put up with, is another thread

    and example of baggage is baby mama/daddy drama
    bad credit, drugs, unhidden agendas, and darkside personalities:hammer:

    but most of all you know what baggage is trust me

    are you writing a thesis or something?

    you know asking question you know the answer to already

    hahahhahahahahahahahaa

    you know i had to get you lol

    peace my friend
     
  3. Jahari Kavi

    Jahari Kavi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    everything he said...................in my opinion if one's baggage is a tad bit too heavy, then it's best that they are left alone, until they can unload some of it. I see too many people that aren't ready for relationships, because of personal problems hop into the dating game like it ain't no thing. This really can only make those problems worse and more complicated..........Then after that relationship tumbles to the floor they bring that baggage into the next relationship and hold resentment towards an individual who isn't even responsible for any wrong doings..........and the cycle continues.
     
  4. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In the Spirit of Sankofa!




    cocobutterskyn,

    Coco, just in my view, there is no baggage in a real relationship, love conquers All, for real!

     
  5. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Greetings All!

    In the end....to me....seems the stuff we call "baggage" represents our Memories of Experiences we've had while on this planet.

    Those "Experiences" include our thoughts, feelings and actions (things we've done in our life)...in relation to others we have interacted with.

    It is the painful/hurtful experiences that get labeled "baggage" and must be discarded from the memory banks. As if that is truly possible.
    I know that the power of the feeling/emotion connected to the thoughts/event(s) is lessened over time when it is adequately and appropriately expressed.

    That's all I can say for now. Thanks for the question!


    M.E.
    :hearts2:
     
  6. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Baggage is pretty simple really....its having a stinken attitude that smells up tha joint, and having a bunch of hangups based on past expierences...

    Doesn't get any more basic than that...


    :argue:


    *
     
  7. truetothecause

    truetothecause Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    YEP!...

    The other people's STUFF*...aka ish....or

    SugarHoneyIcedTea

    One nother thing interesting thing about "baggage" is....people tend to see/smell OTHER'S people's stuff more efficiently than their own!
    Guess we get used to our own smell....heck...we only been carrying it all our lives...

    M.E.
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  8. sweet apple*pie

    sweet apple*pie Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is so tru, so tru.... We are quick to see the others with tha critical eye...while our baggage is hangin' out ta dry....
     
  9. cocobutterskyn

    cocobutterskyn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So’ja Man, Yes I do know what relationship baggage is. I just want to know other’s thoughts on it and toss about some helpful dialogue.

    I want to touch on something Jahari Kavi mentioned,
    Is some baggage good, as a precautionary measure? Especially when we’re suppose to learn from our experiences?

    Example: If trust circumstances sank a prior relationship, would entering a new relationship short of complete trust be unfair to the relationship?


    Clyde, I would agree with that if both parties are devoted to love.

    Truetothecause,
    I agree. That’s what creates the HEAVINESS un-dealt with hurt feelings

    Sweet apple pie
    The make up of baggage is “simple” it the unpacking that kicks butts.


    Thank you all, I appreciate your thoughts:)


    MaddSistahlyLove!
    Coco:heart:
     
  10. Jahari Kavi

    Jahari Kavi Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah nothing is wrong from learning from experiences, the problem comes in when you allow your bad experiences to control your actions, thoughts and thought process. Lately I've been running into a number of females who allow past experiences to kill any chance of a healthy mature relationship. They spend so much time worrying about the negative, that they forget about the positive standing right in front of their faces (that would be me, lol). At the end of the day no one wants to be in a relationship if their partner doesn't trust them. A lot of times I can tell a female doesn't trust me through her actions alone...........she doesn't even have to actually say "i don't trust you," lol. Life is about trial and error.................you gotta be willing to take some chances, otherwise an individual could end up being old and lonely watching re-runs of "Murder She Wrote" and "Matlock"................
     
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