Black Relationships : Background Check: Before getting seriously involved

[KWABENA]

Peace,

Desperate times call for desperate measures. If in fact males and females took responsibility for there actions then there wouldn't be such drastic need to protect self. This however is not the case across the board. You have folks from all walks of life who have no moral grounding whatsoever. For these people the next person they get with is just a mark for their next score. They're not always gonna come off that way though. Some of them can be quite elaborate with their lies and for those people you gonna have to do some digging to find out the depth of their game. I'm also saddened how things have turned out, yet we should be aware by now that the enemy has gone through great lengths to destroy anything that looks like a family in the black community. Insuring the safety of our babies and youth is one step in us getting ourselves together. I don't really understand why it's a negative (considering the mental state of our people) asking someone to show and prove that they are who they say they are, or taking it a step further by checking them out yourself.

Was our grandparents bombarded by the constant images of black baffoonery we have today? In my grandparents day the enemy treated us just like they wanted to, overtly. Now with this new age stuff they took it underground....... smile in your face and call you names, and treat you bad behind the back.

Peace
Precise

Based on much of what you stated in this post, I would say we don't need to be marrying and "hooking up;" we need to work on our Social Relations and re-educate ourselves on how to take care of ourselves and improve how we relate to one another. As a collective too many of us are so emotionally-charged with issues about one another, but do not want to find a way for us to come together and work these things out. Once again - that does not call for marriage; it should call for community interaction(s) with the purpose of re-learning how to have more respect for self and each other.

Peace

KWABENA

 

[Precise Allah]

Based on much of what you stated in this post, I would say we don't need to be marrying and "hooking up;" we need to work on our Social Relations and re-educate ourselves on how to take care of ourselves and improve how we relate to one another. As a collective too many of us are so emotionally-charged with issues about one another, but do not want to find a way for us to come together and work these things out. Once again - that does not call for marriage; it should call for community interaction(s) with the purpose of re-learning how to have more respect for self and each other.

Peace

KWABENA

Peace,

Indeed. We "as a people" are screwed up. How are males and females supposed to work together as a unit when they don't even begin to have defined roles in a relationship? Clearly the whole "Jesus will work it out" thing hasn't been effective. Functional parents have functional children and so on and so on. So where do we start?

The functional have to work with the dysfunctional and the civilized have to work with the uncivilized. Those of us who have a formula that works needs to get that information out to the people who need it most. My nation is very active in getting people to become more functional in there day to day business including interpersonal relationships.

Good build.

Peace
Precise

 

[KWABENA]

Peace,

Indeed. We "as a people" are screwed up. How are males and females supposed to work together as a unit when they don't even begin to have defined roles in a relationship? Clearly the whole "Jesus will work it out" thing hasn't been effective. Functional parents have functional children and so on and so on. So where do we start?

What I have found through personal observation is we really don't want to work together. We want to let things go on and if they work out to our personal advantage, then it's a good relationship. We have forgot that true relationships do indeed require us doing work on ourselves and each other. It's like we have extended the boyfriend-girlfriend concept into adulthood years, and we wonder why we are how we are in relationship to each other...

The functional have to work with the dysfunctional and the civilized have to work with the uncivilized. Those of us who have a formula that works needs to get that information out to the people who need it most. My nation is very active in getting people to become more functional in there day to day business including interpersonal relationships.

Good build.

Peace
Precise

True indeed.

"Jesus will work it out" is simply an excuse to continue our ways. Why would "Jesus" do something for you if you aren't willing to do anything yourself? I asked an elder on the bus yesterday headed to work if my generation has a future and asked him to be honest, and he gave me all of that "Jesus will work it out" and "God will make a way for us" nonsense. I say nonsense because as I alluded to earlier, why would God help me when i'm not helping myself? As I said in another thread, we do this to ourselves and it is our fault.

I am definitely not saying that we should go out there and marry anybody and everybody under the sun, but I am hoping that we would become much more aware of what sits at the root of our problems, and deal with them by the roots, instead of the branches.

A couple years ago after being recommended to do so by a number of people, I read both The Blackwoman's Guide to Understanding the Blackman and The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman by Sistah Shahrazad Ali. Although I (and others) may not have agreed with her views, I definitely understand where she is coming from, and what/where she's going. Personally, after reading it I was ready to consider not dating anymore sistahs in the West, but for certain reasons that has changed. Point is, we do not understand each other and I feel as though we don't want to, and we do a disservice to each other insodoing.

Do we really want to improve our relations with one another? Something to think about.

KWABENA

 

[Bootzey]

EVERY? Sister Bootzey, if you don't mind me asking, how many men?

And did your father find anything on them?

Ironically the only man he found something on was the man I eventually married!

I have been engaged 7 times.... B.U.T. in my defense #3 and #5 was the same person

 

[Bootzey]

Ha ha..... you must have been bored to death when you didn mine.

You know Daddy returned to the Essence before we got together.