Black Relationships : Background Check: Before getting seriously involved

[MsInterpret]

I was recently talking to a gentleman and he said that in his previous marriage he got married to a woman, they had been married 2 years.

One day he noticed that the court house was calling on the caller ID. His wife answered the phone and had walked off into the other room. He got suspicious as to why the courts would be calling his house.

When he confronted her about it she broke out and told him she had a felony for embezzling $100,000, and that it was her probation officer calling.

That's when he realized she had been taking money out of there savings account to pay off her fines, with out telling him.

And she had been constantly taking money out and not telling him what was going on. Ultimately they got a divorce.

Well, he told me that he wanted to do a background check on the next person he dated.

Would you do a background check on someone before you got seriously involved?

 

[warriorprincess]

Yes! And I would want us to both get background checks....and leave no room for doubt...

 

[medusanegrita]

Would you do a background check on someone before you got seriously involved?

Likely not right off the bat but if I felt the need to I would.

But they make it so easy now. I looked up a cousin on the net who was in jail and found him, his crime, and even his prison or jail house mugshot. When I found him, I started looking up every family member i could think of who had ever been in jail... including myself. But I don't think misdemeanors are in there, just felonies.

So if I involved myself with somebody and happen to be perusing the net and his name pops into my mind, I mind do a prison search out of curiosity. If something came up that concerned me, I would definitely confront him about it. Otherwise, I'd leave it alone unless I got suspicious. Then I'd question him further and/or do a more in depth search.

The felony this lady had was minor IMO. It was the money she was secretly taking out the account that turned the relationship topsy-turvy. I'd be kinda pissed too. If she told him straight out she had this problem, and he loved her... he might have been willing to help her solve it. But lies and deceit around money is hard on a relationship.

 

[Ikoro]

Depending on what kind of background check, my Sister.

If I want to get to know a Sister I'll just talk to her. By the time we are seriously involved I would have received answers to the most basic and important questions. And based on a how a person conducts his- or herself you'll know what you're dealing with. A felony will surface at some point... mos def (depending on what kind).

That being said, some of us think we know a person well after a few months of dating and casual sex... that's why these things go wrong. Take your time fam, could another person know YOU (your story, your habits, your character and your values) in and out after a mere 6 months just because they like you or are "in love with" you? Didn't think so.

Also, the very first step for me would be to ask the lovely Sister ('cause you know she'd be a nice piece of work if I'm dating her - wink wink!) for an STD test (no lie). You know 'it' might happen at sometime so it's best to know these things and to do that kind of check so you have proof.

The rest I can figure out through conversation, interrogation and observation. YA HEARD?!

One,

- Ikoro

 

[Bootzey]

My father did a background check on every man I was engaged to.