First of all, I want to dedicate this to Brother Houserunner. In his recent update he wrote that; Just his words pulled me back in time and caused me to remember when I was in that condition. In my very first book entitled; Pulling No Punches, I have a chapter in there entitled; Accepting The Truth. In that chapter I basically laid out the changes that I was going through in learning what I did. I spoke about the stress that I was going through and of how I was once at a point whereby I actually wished that I was ignorant again. I spoke about why I was feeling and thinking that way and about the idea that I knew before hand that if I stayed on that course that it would alienate me from my family and friends. I spoke on how certain things in society were considered to be normal and of how I was faced with a dilemma. The dilemma was to either continue on the course that I was on or to find myself crushed by the burden of what I knew to be true. More than that, I spoke about where the stress was coming from and of how I didn't want to accept the idea that my life was going to be different. Finally I admitted in the book that the truth of the matter at that time was that; "I didn't want to be responsible for what I was learning...and of how I was going to have to change or be crushed by the weight of what I had already learned". So yes, knowing can be a burden at times because it redefines who you are and the direction that your life must move in. It alienates you from family and friends. It changes how you talk, what you talk about, what you do and don't do, what you eat and what you don't eat....it changes your company and choice of people connections. It allows you to actually wonder and ask yourself how you could have been that blind not to see or know. I have equally learned that all people do not posses the ability to be totally objective in their learning or research. This is simply the result of their not totally healing from the damages that were inflicted upon our lives. It is one thing to be conscious....it's totally a whole different thing to be "conscious of consciousness". Without becoming conscious of consciousness, it is very difficult to change. Being conscious of consciousness means that you are always in introspection. It means that you are always examining everything you say or think just to make sure that the "victim side of yourself" isn't the one that's doing the speaking and thinking. So my brother "Houserunner", I don't know who you are but I thank you for inspiring me to remember when ignorance was indeed bliss. However, given the choice....and I have thought about it many times; I would not go back and undo anything. I would prefer to know than not know because my not knowing places me in the position to be a bigger victim than I already was. Not knowing was leaving my life and my thoughts in someone else's hands. My not knowing was not going to happen. Besides, if we all admit that we are special and that there's only one of us on this earth, how can we go through life living our lives the same way that everybody else is living theirs? Do you mean that we are born, we party, have some babies, work and party some more and then we're out of here? Oh no!,...that seems to be the same thing that everybody else is doing....so what's so special about that??? I knew at that point that my life was going to be different and that if nothing else, I was refusing to leave this life without our people and white people knowing that I was here. And the work continues....inside and out !...Peace!!!