I can't stop laughing...
Let me stop..Whew! Every man falls somewhere between Felix Unger and Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple)...For those too young to remember it was a story to middle aged men that were room mates. One was a neat freak and the another one a slob. Anyway, no man will every have a woman's touch (well at least not a straight man) but men should at least be sanitary. As messy as things may get you must make time to clean up. Many times unfortunately this is a result of the type of upbringing a male child has. Quite often if male children are not given responsibilities such as house cleaning they never learn nor develop the initiative to do such. Also it is not good for parents to loose patience and do everything for the child. Men will grow up thinking everyone is suppose to do things for them. What you must realize is your man knows he's a slob and it's embarassing. His stubborn pride will not let him admit he needs help in this area... What you must do is take him by both hands, look him straight in the eyes and tell him you love him and you want to be with him and because of this you are willing to help him with this problem. Tell him it's not alright to live in filth be it will be alright if he let's you help him. If he is not willing to do this then tell him you can't come over and spend time with him nor will he be spending all his time with you over your house...The thing is you want him to open up to you and let you help him. In helping him you can't judge him or try to be his momma. Once he let's you into his world maybe you can come and help him on a regular schedule. In time what this will do is get him in the habit of cleaning and you won't have to help him anymore. Then if when you two get married he won't bring that disgusting habit to the marriage...Just remember to be gently and not judgemental because though he may not show it deep down he is truly ashamed of how he's living..
Peace......
Let me stop..Whew! Every man falls somewhere between Felix Unger and Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple)...For those too young to remember it was a story to middle aged men that were room mates. One was a neat freak and the another one a slob. Anyway, no man will every have a woman's touch (well at least not a straight man) but men should at least be sanitary. As messy as things may get you must make time to clean up. Many times unfortunately this is a result of the type of upbringing a male child has. Quite often if male children are not given responsibilities such as house cleaning they never learn nor develop the initiative to do such. Also it is not good for parents to loose patience and do everything for the child. Men will grow up thinking everyone is suppose to do things for them. What you must realize is your man knows he's a slob and it's embarassing. His stubborn pride will not let him admit he needs help in this area... What you must do is take him by both hands, look him straight in the eyes and tell him you love him and you want to be with him and because of this you are willing to help him with this problem. Tell him it's not alright to live in filth be it will be alright if he let's you help him. If he is not willing to do this then tell him you can't come over and spend time with him nor will he be spending all his time with you over your house...The thing is you want him to open up to you and let you help him. In helping him you can't judge him or try to be his momma. Once he let's you into his world maybe you can come and help him on a regular schedule. In time what this will do is get him in the habit of cleaning and you won't have to help him anymore. Then if when you two get married he won't bring that disgusting habit to the marriage...Just remember to be gently and not judgemental because though he may not show it deep down he is truly ashamed of how he's living..
Peace......
... please make yourself at home ... 