Black Relationships : Bachelor Pad vs. Den of Filth

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by The Specialist, Apr 7, 2006.

  1. The Specialist

    The Specialist Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    My boyfriend's apartment is filthy! I admit, at times, my place can be slightly untidy, but his is disgusting. He makes excuses like he has such a hectic schedule, but when you have 7 layers of dirt on your carpet and ants in your bathroom which have now migrated to your bed, then "Houston, We have a problem!" I have tried to talk to him about this before and have even offered to help him clean it, but he is easily offended. Now, I anticipate this "weirdness" that will exist because if he has no interest in cleaning his place, then I have no interest in going to his place or even having him at mine... I mean, who wants foreign ants in their place. Yuck. Please Help.
     
  2. uplift19

    uplift19 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2006
    Messages:
    669
    Likes Received:
    12
    Ratings:
    +12
    Now that's nasty. Does he have roommates?

    How about getting one of those carpet steamer services to shampoo the carpet in his place and not tell him about it. Leave a note that looks like it's from his landlord's maintenance person/department that says they did it.

    But for real though, that is nasty.
     
  3. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2004
    Messages:
    1,904
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Technical Analyst
    Location:
    ATL SHAWTY! Mr. Coli Park
    Ratings:
    +38
    I own a home by myself, and my crib stays so fresh and so clean, clean!

    Yo man need to get his mind right.
     
  4. The Specialist

    The Specialist Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Both of you are so right. He does need to get his mind right. I would feel embarassed to have someone in my space knowing that my surroundings also speak for me. We've been dating for 3 mos. now and he's a really good for dates, but a very sloppy housekeeper.
     
  5. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,527
    Likes Received:
    36
    Ratings:
    +38
    Also girl a nasty house could mean a nasty ***!
    I can understand a few dishes in the sink but dam ants in the bed!
    He wouldn't get no booty let alone be with me.
    Girl that's nasty, tell him mama said clean it up!!!!!!!!!!!:jam:
     
  6. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2003
    Messages:
    1,818
    Likes Received:
    137
    Occupation:
    Operations Manager
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ratings:
    +137
    I can't stop laughing...:haha:

    Let me stop..Whew! Every man falls somewhere between Felix Unger and Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple)...For those too young to remember it was a story to middle aged men that were room mates. One was a neat freak and the another one a slob. Anyway, no man will every have a woman's touch (well at least not a straight man) but men should at least be sanitary. As messy as things may get you must make time to clean up. Many times unfortunately this is a result of the type of upbringing a male child has. Quite often if male children are not given responsibilities such as house cleaning they never learn nor develop the initiative to do such. Also it is not good for parents to loose patience and do everything for the child. Men will grow up thinking everyone is suppose to do things for them. What you must realize is your man knows he's a slob and it's embarassing. His stubborn pride will not let him admit he needs help in this area... What you must do is take him by both hands, look him straight in the eyes and tell him you love him and you want to be with him and because of this you are willing to help him with this problem. Tell him it's not alright to live in filth be it will be alright if he let's you help him. If he is not willing to do this then tell him you can't come over and spend time with him nor will he be spending all his time with you over your house...The thing is you want him to open up to you and let you help him. In helping him you can't judge him or try to be his momma. Once he let's you into his world maybe you can come and help him on a regular schedule. In time what this will do is get him in the habit of cleaning and you won't have to help him anymore. Then if when you two get married he won't bring that disgusting habit to the marriage...Just remember to be gently and not judgemental because though he may not show it deep down he is truly ashamed of how he's living..


    Peace......
     
  7. The Specialist

    The Specialist Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0
    Thank all of you for your wonderful responses. They reaffirmed what I already knew, and Radical Faith, you gave me some solid advice on what I need to do. Thank you!
    Peace and Love!
     
  8. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2006
    Messages:
    1,539
    Likes Received:
    119
    Ratings:
    +120
    bachelor pad...

    yeah,who wants those foreign ants with thier broken english[smile]but seriously,how long have you been with this guy and isn't it a good thing you didn't elope with him?
     
  9. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    32,017
    Likes Received:
    11,483
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired computer geek
    Location:
    north philly ghetto
    Ratings:
    +13,745
    how can he be easily offended and not be offended by filth?
    kick him to the curb and tell him why you did it.
    move on.
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    I would be offended for leting a woman in a place like that
    sound like your mate is just nasty and don't care which say
    a lot , never too busy to clean up and keep your place you live clean
    i'm with brother James , dump him it's indeed a problem yukkk!!!!!
     
Loading...