Black Relationships : Baby Daddy Drama

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Azzura76, Jun 25, 2003.

  1. Azzura76

    Azzura76 Active Member MEMBER

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    I BECAME A PARENT TO A CHILD YOU HELPED BRING INTO THIS
    WORLD, I STRUGGLE TO TAKE CARE OF HER BY MYSELF,
    YET I'M THE PAIN IN YOUR #%$.

    I'M THE 1 WHO'S UP ALL TIMES AT NITE TRYING TO CALM HER DOWN, IN THE HOSPITAL 4:30AM BECAUSE HER TEMP. WAS
    102.6

    ALL I'VE EVER ASKED FOR WAS FOR YOU TO TAKE A STAND,
    BECOME THE FATHER YOU NEED TO BE,
    STAND TALL AND BE A MAN.

    YOU ONLY PAY $106 EVERY 2 WEEKS FOR CHILD SUPPORT
    YET YOUR CRYING BROKE, WHEN THE JOB I HAVE IS BEING A MOM FULLTIME AND WORKING LESS THEN PART IME AND LIVING OFF OF PRAYER AND HOPE.

    I MAY HAVE CAUSED SOME DRAMA BUT COULD YOU BLAME ME,
    S#*% I'M STRESS. I GAVE UP MY LIFE TO CARE FOR ANOTHER.

    YOU HUNG UP ON ME WHEN I ASKED FOR SOME EXTRA HELP,
    YOU SAID YOU HATE ME AND WISH YOUR CHILD'S MOTHER
    WAS SOMEONE ELSE.

    YOU DON'T CALL HERE, OR EVEN COME BY
    YOU SAID IT OVER FOR YOU AND THE CHILD
    AND SAID SHE'S ALL MINES.

    MEN LIKE YOU HELPED WOMEN INTO DEPRESSION, STRESS, AND ALOT OF OTHER THINGS, YOUR THE ONES
    CAUSING US DRAMA AND ALOT OF PAIN.

    THIS ONCE WEAK WOMEN DECIDED TO TAKE A STAND TO CARE
    FOR A CHILD THAT CAME FROM A WEAK MAN.

    I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU YOUR SPACE AND LEAVE YOU BE, AND CONTINUE TO TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD THAT GOD GAVE TO ME.

    BUT REMEMBER THIS ONE THING BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE WEAK MEN LIKE YOU CAN CAUSE THE DRAM TOO.
     
  2. j'hiah

    j'hiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    l am sorry for your pain; however, there are 2 sides to every story, so l wont choose.
    l will only so that he should support his child with all his ability be it spiritually, emotionally, financially, etc...
    Also, l pray that God supplies all that you need including peace within and trusting in Him through this drama.
    Do not hold this against that guy b/c he also needs what you need.

    peace.
     
  3. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Azzura76,

    I hope both of you can sit down and discuss matters and put petty feelings and anger aside. Think of the welfare of your child.

    J'hiah,

    I agree. There are two sides to every story and many jump to conclusions. Child support, child custody and the conflicts among parents is often very complicated.
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    These types of problems will always exist until we figure out a way to replace baby daddies with husbands & fathers, and baby mommas with wives & mothers
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well felt hope it all come together for both and mostly the child
    and peace be within da two .......strong believer of taking care
    what u created
     
  6. Azzura76

    Azzura76 Active Member MEMBER

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    true there are two sides: his side would be I drive him up the wall, but I am or rather was that way because you do expect the man U luv to be a father to his child, instead he played you, dis the child and stood up to support his son. I won't lie I can be a true B&^%* at times and I do have a smart mouth on me, but if I'm willing to help U be there as a father and try to establish some kind of friendship then meet me half way.

    Also this problem is the same with married couples and couples it's just a larger problem with people who become lovers after the sex. Now this situation has built me into a wonderful sista who takes pride in raising her kids by herself. I just wish that men realize that they are too needed in the childs life.

    It's not fair that they have to suffer.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    so true so true men have to step up
    every child need a man round as well mom
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Azzura76 ... Hello Sister and Welcome. I feel the emotion in your posts. I can understand it, i've been there. But the sooner you can let go of the pain and disappointment you feel, the better off you'll be (and if it were already gone, you wouldn't have made this post). We each heal in our own space and time, so please, don't feel like i'm rushing you. It may help to let go of the "victim" status. I'm referring to the "he played you" comment. Don't think of it that way, it only hinders your healing process. Accept the fact that you allowed him to play you. Accept the fact that you had complete control of finding yourself in this situation, having a baby with no father to help raise him (because you agreed to sexual intercourse). While it's difficult to do, accepting FULL responsibility of where you are right now, IN YOUR LIFE, will put you in a position to make wiser decisions in the future. You will be much more protective of your life. It will help you teach your children how not to find themselves in this same situation. It will help you forgive him, which is needed in order for you to find peace within yourself. I know this may sound strange, that you must forgive him, when he's left you in this situation ... but this forgiveness is so "not about him." It is about you and your healing, and your being the best Mother you can to your children. You can't do these things as well, if you've not forgiven him. When you've really let go of the pain and disappointment, then he is no longer the focus. Yes, your heart will still ache that your children don't have this much needed resource in their life, but what's done is done. You must move forward giving them the best that you can.

    Be encouraged Sister and stay focused.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. babygansta42

    babygansta42 Member MEMBER

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    sistah it all right i understand where you are coming from althought it is not me in your place but my godsister with two children both boys i love them to death and i know that she dose two but all i can really say is be strong and dont let a man like that get you down because you are more than that just rember your god's angel
     
  10. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Feelin ya...

    I thought was the only one going thru this problem, but I have learned I'm not alone.
    Although my situation is similar, it is still very Unique. There are some things that I'm going thru that I hope that I may be able to bless others with. I am married, 10 years my husband and I have been in each others lives. I have 4 children, three by him (girls).
    My son was a baby when we met so I think of him as my sons father as well. For the past 3 years he has let me to raise our children alone. I felt what you were saying because if you don't get help, the burden and the pain will lead to depression, I know, been there. If it wasn't for a really good friend, I believe I wouldn't be here because I hurt so much. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Then it hit me. The problem wasn't with me, the problem was with my husbands' father, and his stepfather. Neither took the time to show him how to be a man. They couldn't because they were nothing but grown boys themselves. They were poor examples and me and my kids are suffering now because of their mistakes.
    There is nothing I or anyone else can say or do to make it better for you, but you have the power to make things better for yourself. Yes it's hard. I struggle everyday with issues like getting them dressed, taking them to the doctor, getting them to school on time and a million other things that we single parents deal with on a day to day basis. Trust me, he will never appreciate it or even acknowledge it, but find strength in God and try to go on. Once I stopped focusing on what he wasn't doing, and tried to do the best I could do, I began to have peace in my life. We have to help and lift up each other. We have to share our experiences and help each other heal and deal.
    I don't know if this helped you, but it did something for me.

    I hope that things will get better and pray the same for me.
    Much Luv
    Nita :luvv:
     
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