First off I'm glad that I stumbled across this website, as I have been looking for a place where I can exchange ideas and issues with other Black people. I've been on this quest to awaken myself and mentally unchain myself from the psychological slavery that has been imposed on us. A brief history of mine is that when I was a little girl, I used to want to be white. (That's how it seems to start for most young Blacks anyways). I even told one of my aunts "I want to be this color (pointing at the palm of my hand) and she said "no you don't." I admired everything about white people and thought they were the most luckiest people walking this Earth. I hated the color of my skin, hair texture, etc and just hoped that one day I would wake up white. Well to my dismay, I never woke up white. But little did I know that I would one day embrace my Blackness. All throughout elementary school, and high school I befriended mainly whites. Since I couldn't be them, might as well join them right? I saw other Black students at school look at me like I was crazy when they saw me hang with the whites, but I didn't think much of it. I felt I was on my way to getting into "the club." Then one day I asked one of my white "friends" a question. It was just a casual conversation, it was something along the lines of "have you ever had a deja vu during class?" I talked pretty much like a white girl would and my white "friend" put her hand on my shoulder and said "you're black" and kept walking away. I immediately became confused. What did being Black have to do with the question I asked? Maybe she meant no matter how many times I felt like I was closer to being white, I was still Black. That was my deja vu. Feeling like I have experienced being white, when in reality, I was never going to be one of them. Today, I have come a long way from wanting to be one of them. My aunt gave me plenty of speeches on the true nature of white people. She recommended I watch multiple YouTube videos and read multiple blogs. It was like my mind was being unlocked. The very people I wanted to be like became the very people I was glad I was the opposite of. My aunt was right from the very beginning when I was that 5 year old who told her I wanted to be white. I'm not going to lie and say I never get those tinges of "you people are lucky" but I know how they got where they are. Black people could have been just as successful today or more if those whites did not come and bomb our Black wallstreets, where we had our own hospitals, hotels, etc. That is how they got to the top: their jealousy tore Black people down. But this is all for now. Just a little introduction of me. More to come later, there is so much on my mind. Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.