Pregnancy, what an awareness raising experience. So much that I am now aware of that I wasn't at the beginning. With 1 week remaining before delivery, I have chosen to find a doula and do it FAST! This pregnancy has been filled with challenges, many of which have led to and co-created a state where I am possibly toxemic. I was protected by great forces that have kept my baby and myself alive and strong, and I have been blessed to have my mother nearby who has willing made herself available for most anything I have needed. It is also the grandmothers who have supplied 90% of the baby's material needs, so he's ready to go when he enters this world. Coming down to the last leg of the race, I had hoped that the father would become more knowledgable and aware of our needs. That didn't really happen. Instead he relies on me to tell him what to do during contractions and other pregnancy linked issues. Tonight he relayed a story to me about his white male friend witnessing the birth of his own child. The friend told him that having seen his wife deliver made him glad that he was not a womban. And my partner seems to vibrate the same feelings either directly or indirectly through helplessness or ignorance. So, I decided tonight that he is not coming into the delivery room. The birth of this child is not a spectacle, it is a miracle that deserves reverence. I am already aware that I ought to have been more responsible and managed to find more suitable surroundings other than the hospital, but that's part of the experience. In the meantime, my Root chakra Goddess is taking back her power, and will not be looked upon as a "poor womban", or something to be pitied. No, since this man has not prepared himself mentally and spiritually he need not bear witness. I said to him, that if his friend had followed him around for a day, and then said boy I'm glad to not be an African - he would feel just as offended. I already know that the Caucasian in wired to misogyny, but if the brothers want to adopt his mindset then let them be cast out with him. I believe it was better back in the day when men were kept separate from women's processes. The moment they began to share in the knowledge they also began to take over and to legally and religiously dictate to us when we were clean, and how we were to manage our nature. The Caucasian terrorized his women with witch trials and the Inquisition, and made it illegal for womben to practice medicine so that he could take control of her body. The Asian degraded his womban by stealing her children and making her a prostitute of submission. The African denounced his womban in the context of his Godhood and lost rule / connection to his Motherland; his material support and source of wealth; the Aboriginal got intoxicated and lazy allowing his womben and children to be murdered, and spiritually destroyed through missonary schools. The only reason Amerikkka is the most powerful nation is because of the exploitation of female power, but it's nature is reflected in the abuse of power that the country wields. I have been asleep for too long.... today I awaken Muladhara and the Goddess that resides there. Thank you to the Mother of all Mothers for your continued vigilance and support.