Black Relationships : AT WHAT AGE DOES A BLACK MAN MATURE ENOUGH TO SETTLE DOWN AND DO RIGHT,HAVE KIDS?,

kente417mojo said:
Oh no!!! Here we go with that bitter thing again. I'm not bitter at all cursed heart. If assuming I am makes you understand my thinking better....by all means label me bitter like so many other people have done when they can't seem to figure out why I say what I say. And if you know how men benefit from marriage.......by all means speak on it. I would love to finally hear how marriage makes life better for a man.

Fair enough:wine:
Although we are men and women we still desire some of the same things.
By building together your chances of success in every aspect is doubled!
Black children born into a union of faith, one of the most beautifuliest creations a marriage can share.
Stability and order in his life.
Being responsible for someone other than yourself!
 
cursed heart said:
Fair enough:wine:
Although we are men and women we still desire some of the same things.
By building together your chances of success in every aspect is doubled!
Black children born into a union of faith, one of the most beautifuliest creations a marriage can share.
Stability and order in his life.
Being responsible for someone other than yourself!


I see what you're saying, but again, those are things that can exist without marriage. Stability, responsibility and being united should not be limited to people who take vows and exchange rings. The problem is, people put value in those things all while ignoring the real stuff. Or at least giving it a backseat to marriage. We are brainwashed into thinking marriage validates a commitment. A man can be the best provider, mate and father the world has ever seen, but if he doesn't put a ring on a woman's finger and give her that one day of showing off to her friends and family...he is labeled no-good. This is the problem I have with the whole thought of marriage, especially when it's so risky for one side (the man). Women need to understand that. A lot of women leave the marriage with a plus and the man leaves in the negative...yet no one understands why men don't want it..or at least try and wait until they are completely 100% ready. I would be all for marriage if I didn't feel like I might be ruined by it in the event of it ending. That's what men have to deal with...not women. Before we chalk the problem of men no marrying to a lack of maturity, we need to make sure you take the whole host of other issues into consideration.
 
kente417mojo said:
I see what you're saying, but again, those are things that can exist without marriage. Stability, responsibility and being united should not be limited to people who take vows and exchange rings. The problem is, people put value in those things all while ignoring the real stuff. Or at least giving it a backseat to marriage. We are brainwashed into thinking marriage validates a commitment. A man can be the best provider, mate and father the world has ever seen, but if he doesn't put a ring on a woman's finger and give her that one day of showing off to her friends and family...he is labeled no-good. This is the problem I have with the whole thought of marriage, especially when it's so risky for one side (the man). Women need to understand that. A lot of women leave the marriage with a plus and the man leaves in the negative...yet no one understands why men don't want it..or at least try and wait until they are completely 100% ready. I would be all for marriage if I didn't feel like I might be ruined by it in the event of it ending. That's what men have to deal with...not women. Before we chalk the problem of men no marrying to a lack of maturity, we need to make sure you take the whole host of other issues into consideration.

Kente I totally agree!
This is exactly why I started this thread to receive insight from a black man's perspective!
Black Women fantasize about that grand day, we're naturally emotional so having a beautiful gown with a room full of people she loves and you love them,sharing, while brian Mcknight sings never felt this way,
and she has her daddy walk her down the aisle and they exchange beautiful poetry and vows and kiss with tears of joy is a girls dream,ok that's my dream but you get what I'm saying:smooch: My first marriage I was young and we went to city hall and had a reception, I knew how to be a wife,friend and mother but I was robbed of my dream because it didn't seem to matter than because we loved each other,even though the marriage didn't last the memory of the traditional ceremony would have been nice to hold on to,I don't regret it because I was blessed with the experience and the gift of a wonderful baby girl, he did not suffer or lose out when we parted, for I never asked for alimony and I never would, but what we did miss out on was love and life together living it to the fullest until we part from this life!
although it's only the beginning the marriage should be blessed according to the relationship prior to the marriage and the faith and knowledge of each other as individuals as well as a union.
I enjoyed talking to you my beautiful brother:smooch: :smooch:
 
cursed heart said:
Kente I totally agree!
This is exactly why I started this thread to receive insight from a black man's perspective!
Black Women fantasize about that grand day, we're naturally emotional so having a beautiful gown with a room full of people she loves and you love them,sharing, while brian Mcknight sings never felt this way,
and she has her daddy walk her down the aisle and they exchange beautiful poetry and vows and kiss with tears of joy is a girls dream,ok that's my dream but you get what I'm saying:smooch: My first marriage I was young and we went to city hall and had a reception, I knew how to be a wife,friend and mother but I was robbed of my dream because it didn't seem to matter than because we loved each other,even though the marriage didn't last the memory of the traditional ceremony would have been nice to hold on to,I don't regret it because I was blessed with the experience and the gift of a wonderful baby girl, he did not suffer or lose out when we parted, for I never asked for alimony and I never would, but what we did miss out on was love and life together living it to the fullest until we part from this life!
although it's only the beginning the marriage should be blessed according to the relationship prior to the marriage and the faith and knowledge of each other as individuals as well as a union.
I enjoyed talking to you my beautiful brother:smooch: :smooch:


I understand completely. Men and women differ because your heads are always in the clouds. :lol: On the real though, I see what you're saying. I've always said the marriage is 90% for the bride and 10% for her family and friends. Either way, it makes no difference what you do in your relationship if you're heart is not there. I think we both can agree on that. You allowing your ex-husband to live (financially) after the divorce shows that you're. Love to you for that. Peace.
 
kente417mojo said:
I understand completely. Men and women differ because your heads are always in the clouds. :lol: On the real though, I see what you're saying. I've always said the marriage is 90% for the bride and 10% for her family and friends. Either way, it makes no difference what you do in your relationship if you're heart is not there. I think we both can agree on that. You allowing your ex-husband to live (financially) after the divorce shows that you're. Love to you for that. Peace.

Peace be unto you boo:smooch: :smooch:
 

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on $$RICH$$'s profile.
$$RUCH. SO COOL.VBRO. WHAT MY bornday. Again. Destee. June. U didn't call. Phone me. I'm loosingbit. In my dopamine euphoria. None stop. I send my new pic. Noylt. Me. That guy. Wears 1x. I wear.b3x. Ok love Destee Fam. Errors I don't care ok. Love
Destee wrote on MANASIAC's profile.
I saw you ... :yaay: ... Welcome Home! ... :flowers:
Back
Top