Black Relationships : At what age, do age differences stop becoming important in relationships?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by panafrica, Jun 12, 2004.

  1. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There have been several questions from some of our teen members about dating older men. I always caution them about the differences in maturity...and legality...between an adult (20s and older) dating a teenager. However in truth as people get older, the difference in age & maturity significantly decreases. A 15 year old dating a 25 year old, is not the same as a 25 year dating a 35 year (even though there is a 10 gap in both cases). My question to the Destee community is at what age, do age gaps stop becoming important?
     
  2. Kannte

    Kannte Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Human Nature is Infinite. Each Person is Different

    Age is just one of the important FACTORS, of many FACTORS and aspects that make up - and in a - relationship between two people.

    I don't think age is ever an un-important FACTOR in a relationship. For each age brings a different PERCEPTION OF LIFE to the individual. We don't see things and life at 20 as we did at 15. So the factor of the perception from age is always an important factor in a relationship between people. But not a factor that can not be over come in a relationship between people.

    As long as the ages are legal, no matter what the difference in ages, if the people willingly CONSENT to be in the relationship, than we shouldn't judge; let it be, as long as no one is getting hurt, used, or abused.

    If one thing, REAL Astrology of the Birth Chart teaches us is that we are all infinitely DIFFERENT. REAL Astrology of the Birth Chart teaches us HOW to USE our INFINITE DIVERSITY IN SERVICE to the whole.

    So each individual - being different in a relationship, regardless of age, brings to the relationship, spiritual needs and desires. A young man or women, at a certain moment in time, may need the experience and wisdom of a order man or women. A order man or women may need and enjoy the freshness and uniqueness of a young mind at a certain moment in time. All healthy, relationships are give and time, for the good of the whole.

    Right now in the AA nation of North America, because of the great number of single parent households headed by "MOTHERS," not just women but MOTHERS, many young females are seeking out older men, not only as elders of experience and wisdom but for sexual gratification. And in many cases these youth, young women get caught up in a relationship, that is destroying and not wholesome, uplifting, and positive. In many cases the good man, the man who has proven himself by time in a relationship with a women, who is considered a wife, is over looked as a possible older mate because of the western, American negative look on a man having more than one wife. In older civilizations and times it was understood that in some cases a older/younger relationship, was good for the both the young and older, and society, in general.

    Human nature is infinite, each person is a infinite possibility, and does not always "fit" into a general mode of what relationship is considered right.
     
  3. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    in my view it's not a matter of stopping but a gradient that goes from not okay to okay and in many cases back to not okay again.

    A woman in her fifties is usually at her sexual peak. If she is married to a man who is signigicantly older than her he may not be up to her speed. The same woman if married to a man who is significantly younger than her may find herself constantyly dealing with the threat of the "younger woman" as he goes through his midlife crisis and considers her to be over the hill.

    I remember when my grandmother was in her fifties and my grandfather in his sixties. One day she was sancing around the house smiling and caarrying on like she had won the lottery. All that had happened was that they had had sex for the first time in four years.

    But like you said everyone is different. The importance of the age gap in the latter years will depend on the physical and mental health of the individuals. That's something no one can really predict unless they have abused their bodies with alcohol, cigarettes or drugs in which case it is safe to put your money down on the side of numerous health problems.
     
  4. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    I would say, roughly when you are at least 30. The average 30 year-old does not act any differently, and age does not matter regardless of if it was based on a relationship or not.
     
  5. Dancing_Nina

    Dancing_Nina Active Member MEMBER

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    Depends on the maturity of the couple. An immature emotionally/ finanacially & family responsible 35 y.o. man maybe compatible with an emotionally mature/ financially irresponsible 21 y.o.
     
  6. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think it depends upon if you have children in your home. For example, I get approached a lot by men who are 25-28 years old. I have a huge problem with men in their early 20's as their age is so close to my daughter's age too.

    So my preference so to stay within 5 years of my age...which is no one under 32. It's just something that brings comfort to my mind in case things ever got serious. As a rule I don't bring men to my home for any reason other than to work on the house, mow the grass or fix my PC. LOL!

    I've seen women date younger men...when they have teenaged daughters in the home. Often times that male occasionally brings friends to the house and they'll be eyeballing the kids. It's sort of strange.

    If I was totally single and child free, I dont think I'd have the same restrictions.
     
  7. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well for me, I prefer my women my age. I cannot stand dating older women, and I despise dating younger women.

    I really prefer women my age, I just relate to them better. We have more experiences to share in life and just we like the same things, I do not want someone who is as old as my mom, I am trying to replace Debra not Replicate her. Then on the same token, I am not trying to get another lil sister, my 18 year old sis, Shannon is enough.

    But to each his own, I do notice that some men my age cherish older women and vice versa. I think love does not have an age either and if a man 40 years old finds a 21 year old that he falls in love and she the same, then great. And of course of Vice Versa.

    With that said, I guess the age difference gap gets closer in matters of loving someone and wanting to be with them.
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I think once the age of 18 is reached it shouldn't matter as much
    and making their own judgement to how old they like their mate to be
    i have always looked at the age differents in many of my own relationships
    but i think inside of 10 years gap is alright beyond that seem to get too old
     
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