i guess i was asleep. how else can i explain? staying through all the pain all the lonely nights rambunctious fights after broken ribs and blackend eyes. i didn't want to wake up. i don't want to see this intimate stranger my savior; my danger my heart; my soul; either i'll love him until he's gone or until my body turns cold. it must have been a dream- but which part? when we were in love or in hate? i had to skip a chapter; had to wake up late cause this can't be my bloody lip; my broken jaw; my tooth that's chipped. tell me you didn't do this; i must have hallucinated while i was unconscious. cause i woke up on the bathroom floor half dead half buried under the door i sat up, tried to move, see if i could and now i've started to remember what i never understood that you could come home tonight with flowers and a smile or you could come in drunk and be "*****hs gone wild" i could take my chances either way pack up and dip; or clean up and stay i could spend the rest of my life runnin lookin over my shoulder worry and fear turnin me colder and colder wait for you to hunt me down like a beast; i feared all those things when i was asleep. but i woke up this morning. and i'll tell you why. the thought of you killing me ain't as bad as, "what if i never die?" ten, twenty, thirty more years? fifty, sixty, still shedding tears? old and crippled from your fists and feet? **** that, I'D RATHER LEAVE AND LET YOU TRY KILLIN ME. --Ms.Dy (we all have a choice-even under the gun. you can look him in the eye- or try to run. you can die screaming, or you can die quiet. i choose to go on both feet activating a riot. even though for years it's what i seemed to do- I WILL NOT MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU!!!!!!) *copywrite 6/1998 alw.