Black Relationships : Asking a Woman’s Father For Her Hand In Marriage


Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
Depends on if he (The Parents) know me already or not. If the Parents don't know me, I would hold off and spend some time getting to know them.. and then.. when the time is right.. I would ask the Parents.

In a respectful society.. that is how it should be done.. in my opinion.. in fact.. that is exactly how it's done in many parts of the world.. Places where they still recognize that marriage is union of individuals AND their families.
You should ask her father’s permission for her hand in marriage. The father is an essential role in her life (hopefully), and by wedding his daughter you are becoming a part of their family. A good relationship between the father and son-in-law is important for a good family dynamic.

I think there is a distinct difference in asking for permission vs asking for a blessing... stating your intentions.

If permission I denied, do you call the whole thing off?


Well-Known Member
Jan 10, 2016
If permission I denied, do you call the whole thing off?

That’s a tricky situation. Depends on what his reasons are to reject you. For example, if you are an awful boyfriend, has a criminal record, treats the woman unfairly and so on, then that’s good reasons for her father to reject your attempt to wed his daughter.

If you have a healthy and happy relationship with his daughter and he still rejects you, I think you should talk to the woman and together figure out what would be the best for both of you. Maybe the woman say that her father is not a good guy, and she would rather live only with you? If that’s the case, it would be irrelevant if the father likes you or not.

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