Black Relationships : Arranged Marriages

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by river, Nov 2, 2011.

  1. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    I am reading a book where marriages are arranged. The men are issued wives by the government. That's crazy but it raised the question which would most people prefer. The arranged marriage that guaranteed that you'd have a mate even if you didn't fall in love with them or even like them. Or going out there hoping you might fall in love with someone who by some miraculous chance is also in love with you?

    What would you prefer: 1. having your life partner, if not picked from birth, then at least set up by a parent or aunt or 2. spending years kissing frogs hoping one of them will turn back into a handsome prince/princess?
     
  2. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, I pick the guy and if I really like the guy he's going to meet my parents and my parents have always had a keen-eye for who and who wasn't good for me...Especially my dad....

    I pick him, but my parents analyze him for further inspection to make sure he's right...And if he's not, they are 99% right about it later on down the road...So I trust their opinion and guidance. So for me it's 50/50.

    But I don't think I could ever let them pick someone out for me, UNLESS he was SUPER DELICIOUSLY HOT, with the whole package going on.
     
  3. Each1teach1

    Each1teach1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    #2 definitely. Id have to be pretty desperate to accept a mate picked by someone else, especially the govt. I'll pass on that one lol
     
  4. butterfly#1

    butterfly#1 going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    With the Gov., hands being as full as they are. Never would I entertain the idea. Now I said never, when I know thats a no-no. Never say never. So, If there was a fail safe system in place that could match me up, I might consider, naw..I just love the idea of choosing my guy. The hunt is so much fun and the catch is too thrilling!
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Just as i was taugh, i will choose my mate /picking and as my parents always said
    son that's your mate one you would have to love so if you like her we love her

    Nobody can choose what's best for me but me
    I'll take my chances on my own until i get it right , perfect match is truely hard
    we all have to learn to accept some flaws in a mate , but if you looking for 100%
    then likely your be by your self even the govt. can't matchmate true love or provide
    a mate that will fit all your needs .....NOPE they can't help me in this area !

    just think about it what percentage is your mate reflecting on it !
     
  6. Dre Money

    Dre Money Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    A friend invited me to this desi forum which is a forum for East Asians like Indians and Pakistanis etc. Arranged marriages is pretty common for em. Took me awhile to get used to the concept. Scary. No I would not like a society like that. I think the old traditional way of speaking to the head of the family bearing gifts and the courtship process is still cool though. Real talk I wasn't even allowed to date growing up and I thank my mom for it or I'd have so many kids by now. Not saying kids are a bad thing but I want to be in a good financial position before I start making some and most youngins are too young to be parents, no offense to any of you who are. Just saying you lose some of ya freedom and independence earlier than you should cause now you have little ones to look after.
     
  7. blackeyes

    blackeyes Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I don't know...I guess it really doesn't seem that bad. Considering our divorce rate and out of wedlock birthrate...could it get any worse?lol
    But I wouldn't trust my moma or the gov't to pick my husband.
     
  8. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    arranged marriages have been around longer than western civilization. because it comes from a different culture doesn't make it wrong. asking the question in this environment--culture--begs a negative response. of course, in this society of choices, we would think the notion of arranged marriages repugnant. that's not how we were raised. while in their society, parents take this responsibility very seriously...and couldn't imagine a child--some get married as young as thirteen years old--mature enough to make such a choice/decision. there are benefits to both...and there are just as many detractors on each side. but don't dismiss one's culture just because it's different than yours.
     
  9. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    So you'd be okay with marrying a 13 year old?
     
  10. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    PLEASE, NO. i wouldn't marry a woman ten years younger than i am...but that's not my culture. when i said thirteen, i was thinking of two thirteen year olds marrying...or both in that neighborhood age group. and, no, i wasn't even saying that i would want an ARRANGED marriage. i was just saying that it is a culture that exists...and have existed for a long time. and though we--western civilization--may disagree with it, that doesn't make it wrong.
     
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