Black Relationships : Are you the jealous type

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by andwele01, Aug 27, 2010.

  1. andwele01

    andwele01 Member MEMBER

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    I was just wondering on the topic of jealousy, who confessess to being the jealous type. I don't think I am. I used to be. They say that for some people it can be a turn on because it shows that you care. If you don't get jealous, does that mean that you don't care? What's too much? What's too little? any personal examples and experiences?
     
  2. StefiA

    StefiA Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Jealous of what exactly and in what way?
     
  3. andwele01

    andwele01 Member MEMBER

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    Are you the jealous type in a relationship.
     
  4. StefiA

    StefiA Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If you mean like am I jealous if I see him eyeing up other girls, then probably yes - I would find it annoying and he would get told that pretty quickly - but I wouldn't assume he was doing that unless I caught him at it or had pretty good reason to think he was. Generally I think the best of people till they prove me wrong.
     
  5. ru2religious

    ru2religious Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Absolutely not!

    The reason why I say that is because there is no reason to be if you realize that you do not own the other person. I came from a family full of jealous men and when I was younger I displayed the same characteristics - nevertheless, as I got older and began to study properly the human psyche it became apparent that I was not being me but being a model of environmental insecurities.

    I write articles for the San Fransisco Examiner dealing with love and relationships just to give you a little background before I go any further.

    Here's the thing - some teach that a little jealousy is okay but I beg to differ. Any form of jealousy is a sign of insecurity which tends to grow if untreated. Women or men who like to see their mate show any forms of jealousy which is supposed to show a sense of caring has insecurity issues as well. In such relationships these are based on insecurities and they are not as health as some would like to imagine.

    There are different forms of jealousy that can be found in ones relationship. Does the woman make more then the man and is the man jealous because of that? If he starring at the woman to long she assume that he wants to get physical with her; jealousy. These are just a few examples but then you have the different stages of jealousy which can ultimately escalate into someone becoming physical hurt or even the extreme of a fatality.

    Jealousy, however small or large it might be - it's not healthy at all. That's like making a different between a small flame and a large flame- stick your hand in both and they will both burn you.

    Objective: understand that your partner is not your property and that free will is free will, people will ultimately do what they desire to do. If you don't like what one does then you have the option to leave freely unless you've got a nut (fe/male)- that's when you have to get some extra help involved.

    If a woman tells me that she feels that I don't love her because I act like I don't care when that man tries to get at her aka jealous. I tell her - if I have to worry about another man and you then your not mine to begin with. Nevertheless, no woman or man should have to worry about how you feel about them if your putting it down in a relationship (on all levels).

    Jealous is the belief that you are in control of your partner or that you own your partner. That is never good, most people don't have control over themselves let alone having control over another.


    Peace


    Ru2religious
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I always felt Jealousy was and is a mental display of not being secured or somekind
    of shy esteem, I've never been the jealous type , but Jealousy range in different molds
    somewhere in our blood we have a smire jealousness about something in life
    it can be a person / place or thing !
    but when it come t myself and a woman ....NO !
    just like her there are more and there is somebody for everybody .
     
  7. CreativeGrl

    CreativeGrl Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That all depends on your perspective.
    Example: Suppose I'm having a conversation with my man over dinner at a restaurant. In the middle of me speaking to him, his head turns a full 180 degrees to check out the scantily clad woman who just walked past our table. I express to him that I am offended by his action. Now, am I being jealous, or is he being disrespectful?
     
  8. StefiA

    StefiA Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    @CreativeGrl
    That's exactly why I asked what the question meant at the beginning - and my example was basically like yours - I'm not certain if either of us is really being jealous in that situation - surely its up to the guy to have some sensitivity to our feelings
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Ladies that's not being jealous , it's the lack of respect he showing by doing that .
    jealousy is deeper then that , a person who jealous will show signs of insecurity
    and there mental thinking that there mate is doing something foul/wrong /cheating
    and so forth.......

    sometime the acts of jealousy comes from feelings and emotions which we all may
    have a little in us if we have a heart.
     
  10. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can be jealous at times. But if he's my man, then no.
    I don't even know if you could call it "jealousy" though. Protective?
    Some women want a man who is taken. It's more of a challenge for them to go after him.
    I have a friend who gets her rocks off by sleeping with married men. She even slept with my friend's husband.
    I'm not like "Why you talking to her?" or anything. I remember back in high school this chick kept hanging around my bf's
    locker and I had to tell her to stay away from his locker cause he was my dude.
    We ended up fighting however. That was the only time I ever fought over a guy.
    I understand in life that men and women have to and will interact.
    But I'm just watching them scandalous females.
     
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