Black Relationships : Are you ready for your man?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by NNQueen, Mar 23, 2006.

  1. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    To those sisters that are in committed relationships, what did you do before you found your sweetheart, to prepare yourself for him until he arrived? When you found him, how did you know it was him? If you had to name one significant thing about him that stood out that made you think, "yes, this is THE one", what would that be?

    To sisters that are not in a committed relationship yet, what are you doing, if anything, to prepare for [his] arrival? Are you actively seeking or do you think he'll just show up one day by chance?

    To sisters who are not in a committed relationship do you plan to continue that way? Is this by choice or circumstances and would you change this if you could?

    Do you believe in the wedding vow "until death do us part?" What do you think that means? (Any Catholics out there that want to answer this question?)

    Do you think it's important to live with someone before marriage to see whether you're compatible?

    Do you think it's important to get married, when you and your sweetheart are happy the way things are?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Ready Or Not.....Then He Came

    A few months before I met my current, I had gotten out of a terrible relationship, and almost swore off men altogether. I decided to just get out and do me. I can easily entertain myself, so I would go to bookstores and read love/relationship books, travel, ya know...just all about me. I didn't go out of my way searching for the perfect man, because I'm fine whether I'm involved or single. I began to see a relationship as a way of enhancing my life, instead of the way of life. Surprisingly I became a guy-magnet (explain that men!!...lol). I knew he was the one, because 7 years prior to me meeting him I had a dream in which I met a man of the same description and approach as him. What captured my heart about him was that he was just as goofy as I am...lol. I always wanted someone as young, funny, and as unique as I was. He was also an unAmericanized foreigner, plus he was way fine:D . I was like: c'mere... why you single? We made a promise to never leave each other (our own vows), and since he was my first 20-something love, he is truly something special.:love::couple:

    He makes me want to do things like this:
    http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38311
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Interesting love to hear more sistas thoughts on this .
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It's beautiful when two goofy people get together!
     
  5. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Still waiting:smooch:
     
  6. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Sister Spicy, thank you for sharing your "love" story. It's wonderful that you have found someone that you feel so in tune with. Do you think you have or are setting the type of example for your daughter that you'd like to see her follow or at the least, garner her respect? That was a question that became apparent to me when I was raising my daughter and I'm just curious as to how other women feel. If you could change anything about the choices you made in the past, what would they be? Do you have any words of advice to pass along to another sister, especially your daughter?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Sister Heart, in the meantime, do you think you are ready for a deep committed relationship with a man? Do you believe that a relationship can last for a lifetime? Think of that in terms of the years you have left to live. That's probably a very long time.....do you think you have what it takes to withstand the test of time with someone?

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  8. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    *Grabs pen and paper, anxiously waiting to take notes*
     
  9. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes I do!
    I know a relationship can last forever if you know and love yourself first.
    Then and only then can you do the same for someone else.
    People marry or fall in love for superficial reasons.
    That's why we often lose ourselves in our mates.
    when I find a black man that gives and receives on all levels of life the way I do we will still be togther in the next life!
     
  10. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    How do you know?

    Sister Heart, bare with this older sister for wanting to know more but your answer sparked new questions for me, so I hope you have the patience to indulge me.

    When you wrote "Yes I do!", I presume that was in answer to my question if you thought you were ready for a deep commitment with someone.

    How do you know that? I mean, did your "knowing" come about through some deliberate process that you undertook to know?

    Love can be a subjective word don't you think. I agree that knowing how to love yourself first, is paramount in being able to know how to love someone else. It just seems to make sense doesn't it. But what does that really mean? Do you have to love everything about you, or can you love some things and not others and still "love" yourself? Can you love somethings about someone and not others and still "love" them?

    Maybe I'm searching for something that doesn't exist or isn't possible BUT, there's something that yearns in my spirit for a love experience that is so comfortable, so "at home" that my soul finds a sense of peace with it and I just KNOW it will stand the test of time and maybe even beyond this life.

    These are questions that anyone is free to answer, not just you.


    Queenie :spirit:
     
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