Black Parenting : Are You a Single Parent ?

[Kemetstry]

You wish ... it never ends ... you're always a (single) parent ... forever ...

Thanks everyone who's shared thus far ... please continue.



Destee

Dear, in six months, I get my life back. Whether he likes it or not. Boy had a nerve to get up in my face last Labor Day. He learned real quick, the old man aint no punk. I'm tired, he's tired of me too. Imma give him his money and I'm out!!!

 

[Destee]

Just a parent

What is the value of adding the word 'single' in front of the word parent, and what does it actually mean? I can understand a parent being single and claiming singledom Single with children..

But to say you are a single parent - what are you trying to convey, why, and to whom?

I've seen this term too often. But - A father who sees his kids on the weekends - or does the odd appointment/school run is co-parenting. A father who provides child support is a co-parent. A grandparent who takes care of the kids 6 day a week while the mother/father works is parenting too. A live in partner/sibling/aunt is a parent too, even if only temporary

The term 'single parent' carried associations that should not always apply. The 'parental type' influences on the childs life come from many sources - yet because the bio mom and dad are not together, we stamp 'single parent' on it. For whose benefit is that?

I know that there are parents who have nobody to assist them - but most I know fill the the categories above (and some I havent mentioned)

Hmmmm Sister Zulile ... you dun went and got deep on me ...

I'm going to focus on these words though ... yet because the bio mom and dad are not together, we stamp 'single parent' on it. For whose benefit is that? ... in an attempt to answer your questions.

You mention the bio parents, their not being together ... and i think that's at the heart of the term / meaning. Yes, most children have others "parenting" them, but if that (most) solid foundation is not in place ... bio mom and dad together, parenting the baby ... there's a crack in the foundation.

Now you can add all kinds of other support systems, to shore up that crack, or even to solidify the existing foundation (if bio parents are together) ... but the cracked foundation of the Family structure deserves some attention ... some word ... some mention ... that all is not as it should be.

Most everything else has a word, or term, that aids in identifying it ... so why not this too?



Destee

 

[Destee]

Dear, in six months, I get my life back. Whether he likes it or not. Boy had a nerve to get up in my face last Labor Day. He learned real quick, the old man aint no punk. I'm tired, he's tired of me too. Imma give him his money and I'm out!!!

Kemetstry ... you wanna bet?

You may relinquish some responsibilities, as he picks them up. You may "cut the cord" so to speak. But i'm here to tell you, this parenting thing is a life-long endeavor. You will forever be teaching him, parenting him, encouraging him, loving him, picking him up, and sitting him down. It just never stops. You may get a break here and there ... a few minutes, days, weeks, or even months ... where the phone isn't ringing or they're not coming to you for your wisdom and advice ... but that only lasts for a season ... and back to pulling on the strings of your heart they come ... ... and when he comes, you'll be right there ...

Sorry Kemetstry ... it does not end.



Destee

 

[Zulile]

Most everything else has a word, or term, that aids in identifying it ... so why not this too?



Destee

I feel the term carries negative connotations, that why.

 

[Destee]

I feel the term carries negative connotations, that why.

Well ... i guess it does ... but it is a negative situation, compared to how it should be ... which may explain the negative connotation.



Destee