Black Women : Are you a "Lady"?

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by NNQueen, Oct 19, 2004.

  1. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    There are some words in the English language that rub me the wrong way. You might think it silly of me but "Lady" is one example. I don't like being referred to as a "lady" because it just sounds so British. It's a very common word and often not given much thought. It's supposed to be a term of endearment, such as when Black men say, "She's my lady", which I guess can be viewed as somewhat of a compliment. But it stills rings of British elitism to me and for that reason I struggle with it when the term is given our seal of approval when it's used in the African community. Now, like I mentioned earlier, this may seem silly or trite or trivial because there are far more important issues for us to address than something like this. But I still think that even though most of us believe we're "conscious" and free-minded, we're fooling ourselves when we continue to use words in a language (that's not ours to begin with) that reflect a time in our history when it's was more than okay to call us everything but that because it was thought we were beneath such a level of dignity. Look the word up in the dictionary and tell me what you think.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  2. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've always considered myself to be a WOMAN.

    I looked up the definition of "LADY" in the dictionary and I suppose I agree with your viewpoint. But I've have never been called a lady....as strange as that may sound. Even my ex referred to me as his woman...
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    am i a lady ......NOPE !
    a little humor ...............but MAN !
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hi Sister Queenie ... uhhhh ... hmmmm ... i did look up the word and i can kinda see your concern regarding it ... but it makes me think of all the words we use, and which ones are really ours, and how were we being treated when any word was introduced into the world's vocabulary.

    I'm trying to think of some words (other than the obvious degrading words like the N word and such) that simply rub me the wrong way, as "Lady" does to you. Hmmmm ... i can't really think of any right off the top ... but i'll keep thinking and post them if they come to mind.

    Family, which words are ours? Are there any words created by Black folk that have been adopted world wide? What are they? As i ask this question, i can hear Brother OldSoul saying that all words get their root from African languages, which in essence means, all (most) words are ours.

    I don't know ... just thinking out loud now.

    Whatchall think? Know some African words that have world-wide use?

    As far as being a "Lady" or not, it doesn't bother me like it bothers you Sister. I've been called worse, so "Lady" sounds kinda nice to me. :wink:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Hmmm! Could it also be that the word bothers you because you aint no lady Sis? You are a warrior Sister ready to go into battle and ready to :karate: :bullseye: :uzi: some butts! Now that wouldn't be lady like. :thinking: would it? :?:

    No but seriously, I never gave the word lady much thought. It doesn't bother me. Now the word that seems to bother me is when a man calls me women instead of my name. I know I am a women, but when a man says to me, example: " women, you just listen for a minute!" I get already to :karate: :bullseye: :uzi: some butts! I don't know why the use of that word creates such a negative reaction for me. Maybe its because to me, when a man uses that word in such a way, it projects this image of women being lesser/weaker than a man. I really dont know where this interpretation came from. However, somehow I have been exposed to it. :nuts:

    I too wonder how many words from our African roots are used worldwide?Hmmm?
     
  6. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Hey, I have the utmost respect for Brother Old Soul--I truly do. And I'm certainly in no position to debate with him on his belief that all words are rooted in African tradition in some way, shape or form. And maybe my reaction to the term "lady" is purely from the way that it has been europeanized and used as another means to oppress Black women as a result of racism in America. Sisters had to fight long and hard to PROVE to white people that we were not the sluts and whores and jezebels they portrayed us to be and were actually "ladies"...just as much if not moreso than their own women. Maybe I've adopted a rebellious attitude about it because of that. I reject the notion of being considered a "lady" or even trying to ACT as though I was one of them because it just reeks of racism, classism and elitism to me. If you're not a "lady" then what does that make you and why does it have to be something negative or demeaning or unnatural to you as a woman and have such a heavy impact on how you perceive yourself and others? Besides by whose STANDARD are we even defining what that is? I don't know, maybe I'm putting too much energy into it and I have it all twisted but even though the root of our language may be African, are the present day definitions and meanings of these words suited for who we are as Black people from Africa and do we still claim ownership of them? I think not.

    Peace,
    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  7. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, growing up, I was always told to "act like a lady" when out in public. "Lady" in my family, school, church, etc. simply meant that you behaved like a dignified young women, and not a tomboy or hoodrat. Shoot, when I was younger, Easter was one of those hoildays where you acted like lady. Lace gloves, dresses with petticoats, little hats and purses..ugh! I've always been called a young lady.. well, when I was younger, anyway. Interestingly enough, now that I am a woman, I keep hearing people call me "girl." :thinking:
     
  8. seminoleBACP

    seminoleBACP Banned MEMBER

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    :ref: ANSWER THE QUESTION AT HAND!
     
  9. toylin

    toylin Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmm.. I didn't answer, did I? Well, I know I'm a woman, but like Destee said, I've been called worse. I suppose that I'm not a "lady" in the traditional sense. I'm not dainty, or fragile, or overly feminime (I cannot spell today), although I can be "lady-like." Does that make any sense?
     
  10. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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