Black People : Are you a Giver or a Taker???

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by IfUComeSoftly, Apr 11, 2006.

  1. IfUComeSoftly

    IfUComeSoftly Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Upon much interalization i've come to the conclusion that i am a giver, complusively so. Unfortunately, the giving has turned ugly into being leeched on. I know I have got to learn how to say no to people and to put myself first; but, the idea seems as foreign as ancient hebrew. so i ask of you...

    Are you a Giver? Are you a Taker? Do you give to the point that it hurts? Do you take/ask of people knowing that they will give? Do you let people take advantage of you? Or do you take advantage of others? If your giving/taking characteristics were to the extreme how did you 'cure' yourself?
     
  2. Bisabee

    Bisabee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm a giver for sure. I'm generous but I don't give to the point of being a victim. I give without expecting to get a return immediately because I believe that whatever I give will be returned, maybe not to me but to somebody on my "team." If I see that a person is that type who is just trying to get over on me, I move away from that person. I can cut them off without any further thought.
     
  3. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You know, Softly, this thread could also be entitled Victims and Victimizers, because that is what essentially happens in relationships where one party is almost always giving, and the other receiving... In fact, most relationships work out that way, unfortunately, with one party doing all the giving, and the other doing all of the taking... It is an unconscious thing, where the party doing the taking seems to have an attitude of entitlement, and the party doing the giving seems locked into a behaviour they cannot seem to change... That's where the victimization comes in...

    I have been on either side of this divide... I have been the giver and the taker, and I think it happened that way for me because I became conscious of this universal dichotomy... It is like you see the rain and flowers, and the bees and the plants, and you realize that neither and one are the same...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  4. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    One thing I forgot to add, Softly, is that these relationships, like so many others, is based on NEED, or supply and demand... The Givers have the Capacity to give, while the takers have only the capacity to demand...(smile!)


    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  5. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am a giver.
    It feels good to give.
    If you regret it then don't do it.
    The giver I can't stand is one that says well i did give you a nice present so where is mine?
    Don't exspect anything back because then motive lyes behind your kindness.
     
  6. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    DELETED BY AUTHOR
     
  7. daroc

    daroc Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i'ma giver to those around me. but while i give, i always do what i need to do, for me to keep going and continue to give.
     
  8. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    are you a giver...

    the only people i give freely to are my family[wife kids grandkid]anybody else had better work like i do and get thier own-i know it sounds hard-such is life.
     
  9. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    i would say i'm neither....
    sometimes i give and sometimes i take...
    it depends on what's going on around me...

    one love
    khasm
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    While i've believe in 50/50 give and take i find myself giving more
    from the heart, but i never pose a judgemental force to the extreme
    where it really matters who out doing who , maybe i'm being used to
    a point because i want to help out , help people and give , but i also
    lone to recieve sometime it feels good ...........................................

    I'm a GIVER
     
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