Black Relationships : Are We Being Honest With Ourselves and Each Other?

[NyneElementz]

I've been reading tons of writings lately with each gender pointing blame at the opposite sex as to why our relationships don't last. It seems that we got a lot of blame game going around, but not much opening up as to the real causes of problems within our relationships.

We talk about why we divorce, why there are single-parent homes, why there are more relationships than marriages, etc. However, I don't see many articles or polls about what our true expectations, desires, hopes or dreams are.

I realize that I cannot expect to hope that this discussion can cause a widespread end to all the fingerpointing, but I hope that for once, we can tell the truth here, taking accountability for what we REALLY want instead of putting blame out there.

So, ONCE AND FOR ALL, what do YOU, fellow black men and women, really want to happen in an intimate relationship with the opposite sex and why?

 

[dunwiddat]

You go first...what do you want and why

 

[Angela22]

I once thought I knew, but I don't think I fully do, now.

 

[Dreya]

at the end of the day what im after is that intimate bonding physcially and mentally - that joinin together as one - each person complementin the other - each person lookin out an carin for the other - somethin rich and fulfillin that will last and pass the tests that life will throw at it

 

[NyneElementz]

Very well dunwiddat.

Here's what I want to happen on the road to a lifelong relationship.

1 - I want to find someone I am attracted to on as many levels as possible and who is mutually attracted to me in the same manner, and I wish this attraction to become a friendship.

2 - I want to spend time building this friendship into an unbreakable friendship.

3 - I would like that solid friendship to develop into a solid personal relationship, where we bond, plan, and work on the possibility of sharing life together through at least 12 seasons of experiences.

4 - After some premarital counseling and discussion, I would like both of us to agree that our relationship deserves a shot at forever, and can develop into a lifelong journey of love, family, faith, etc.

5 - Once we agree on marriage, we remain friends, lovers, and partners, resolved that nothing is worth causing a split over, and committed to being faithful to and working with one another on everything.