Black Relationships : ARE THE CHANGING ROLES OF BLACK WOMEN HURTING OUR RELATIONSHIPS ??

No I'm not kidding about those figures. Moreover, 18-80, I get hit on every day. Having a steady, good paying job is worth it's weight in gold.

Yes, many of you are. But you still want the guy to pay for the date and go find out what that noise was, in the middle of the night. :lol: :lol: :lol:

BS! Go look at the census data lining up incomes. Again, you are pushing bad myths!

You hate yourself and have gone into misandry. Dont post unless you have your facts str8. Is that too much to ask?



:em0200:



Post your census Information , hun.

You know better then that Kem.

In Higher Education Black Women are far Outpacing Black MenNew figures from the Census Bureau confirm a serious educational ... greater success in higher education than black men. Today, black women make up nearly 63 percent of all African ... lation will not continue to widen in the years ahead. .... "Best College Buys" by Money magazine. But financial pressures are ...
www.jstor.org/stable/2963239

I do my research before I create a thread, Kem. And you should know this.

_______________________________________________________________

Michelle Obama appears to have it all, but marriage and family eludes many highly educated black women.
Matthew Cavanaugh / EPA file

America Unzipped

BUY THE BOOK
Brian Alexander's book, "America Unzipped," goes behind closed doors to find out who's doing what — and whether they're getting satisfaction. Order it here.


Sexploration — By Brian Alexander
Being thankful ... you’re not like mom and dad
For all the fractured family dynamics a Thanksgiving gathering can expose, there are lessons to be learned about love, both by your partner and by you.


By Brian Alexander
msnbc.com contributor
updated 8:31 a.m. ET, Thurs., Aug 13, 2009


Brian Alexander



Michelle Obama may have become an archetypal African-American female success story — law career, strong marriage, happy children — but the reality is often very different for other highly educated black women.

They face a series of challenges in navigating education, career, marriage and child-bearing, dilemmas that often leave them single and childless even when they’d prefer marriage and family, according to a research study recently presented at the American Sociological Society’s annual meeting in San Francisco.

Yale researchers Natalie Nitsche and Hannah Brueckner argued that “marriage chances for highly educated black women have declined over time relative to white women.” Women of both races with postgraduate educations “face particularly hard choices between career and motherhood,” they said, “but especially in the absence of a reliable partner.”

And there’s the rub. As noted in a recent Sexploration column, contrary to old media reports, most educated, professional women who want to marry can and do marry. But the picture is less bright for high-achieving black women because “marriage markets” for them have deteriorated to the point that many remain unmarried, the researchers found. Since these women also feel pressured not to become single mothers, they often go childless as well, the researchers found.

In the study, Nitsche and Brueckner used data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey of 50,000 households dating back to the 1970s to tease out data points on race, gender, education, marriage and fertility.

Among black women with postgraduate educations born between 1956 and 1960, the median age at which they gave birth for the first time was 34 years old. This was about the same as it was for white women in the same demographic. But once white women reached their 30s, many more of them did give birth, often more than once. Many black women did not. The rate of childlessness among this group of black women rose from 30 percent for those born between 1950 and 1955, to 45 percent for those born between 1956 and 1960.

The rate of childlessness does moderate somewhat in highly educated black women born between 1961 and 1970. In this group, 38 percent have remained childless.

Beyond the personal interests of individual women, the trend is significant because “in terms of American society, this is one additional obstacle” to the broadening of the black middle class, Brueckner said. Fewer highly educated black people having children means that they cannot pass on those advantages and knowledge.”

This defeats the goal of affirmative action, argue some demographers. The idea behind assuring that blacks had access to higher education and graduate school was that after a generation or so, African-Americans would reach a kind of achievement parity after generations of suffering educational and career restriction. But if black women, who comprise 71 percent of black graduate students, according to the census data, do not have children, the rate of achievement reaches a kind of familial dead end.

Another Yale sociologist, Averil Clarke, who has written a soon-to-be-published book called “Love Inequality: Black Women, College Degrees, and the Family We Can’t Have,” sees the impact of this demographic trend in a slightly different, and more romantic, light. It’s not about passing on economic and educational advantages, though these concerns are valid, she said. It’s about love.

“I think this inequality can be construed around outcomes in love,” she said. “We are very caught up right now in [the controversy] over gay marriage. Well, what are we arguing about? Whether people can have these kinds of emotionally satisfying experiences and if not, if that is unequal.” She also believes that these demographic facts, and the reasons for them, constrain the sexuality of some African-American women. She has found that many more are celibate than are white women with similar education levels. “So for me it matters because love matters.”

Declining marriage chances
One big reason why these women remained childless is, as one might expect, that they go unmarried, experts say. Among highly educated women of both races, about 22 percent between the ages of 20 and 45 were single in the 1970s. But then that number diverged. It has remained the same for white women, but now 38 percent of black women have never been married.

“Their marriage chances have declined,” Brueckner explained. “This may sound trivial but one reason is that they outnumber men in this education group.” The disparity in education is important because Americans have a strong tendency to marry those with equal levels of education, a trend that has only grown stronger since World War II. “So since there are fewer men with the same education,” Brueckner continued, “you either have to find another group you can marry or you are out of luck. You have nowhere to go.”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32379727/ns/health-sexual_health/

Now, Who's information is simply BS and just a tad bit too bitter ?? :em2300:

I do have to study, I have a big test Thursday. But Please try to put your raw emotions to the side, Stay on topic as we are looking for things both genders can do to build a bridge.

Your really starting to develope into one of those feminized emotional bitter men ?? I've never really met one before.....................But interesting.

:em2300: Oh yeah, and stop pushing myths as facts. lmao

You can be silly sometimes, ya know. Emotional dudes are not attractive TO ME !! Yuk !!! lmao

 

Yes, many of you are. But you still want the guy to pay for the date and go find out what that noise was, in the middle of the night. :lol: :lol: :lol:

:em0200:

By the way; That's called chivery. And it's not dead. And most MEN by definition do take pride in protecting their woman and children. And don't look at that as being a chore, but an duty.

For brothers that think otherwise, great. That's why when dating you should know the character of the so called, MAN, that your dating.

Never have I heard a man complaining. Boys, in men bodies, perhaps. :10500:


 
By the way; That's called chivery. And it's not dead. And most MEN by definition do take pride in protecting their woman and children. And don't look at that as being a chore, but an duty.

For brothers that think otherwise, great. That's why when dating you should know the character of the so called, MAN, that your dating.

Never have I heard a man complaining. Boys, in men bodies, perhaps. :10500:



I get your points sister, but as a man who looks to protect and provide, it is hard to do so for a woman who says that she can do everything on her own. A lot of dudes figure if a woman can pay for her own dinner than why should he. I stated a couple of weeks ago that I love being "the man" in the relationship, but a lot of sisters attitudes reflect that they don't "need one." Therefore men let them go about their business. One thing that the article didn't mention is that men with higher education degrees are much more likely to "marry down" than women who do the same. What I find is that these women have the "independent" mentality, yet they still want someone they can depend on at the end of the day.....tell a sister with a Phd to marry someone who only took some college courses and she'll look at you like you're crazy, haha...................
 
I get your points sister, but as a man who looks to protect and provide, it is hard to do so for a woman who says that she can do everything on her own. A lot of dudes figure if a woman can pay for her own dinner than why should he. I stated a couple of weeks ago that I love being "the man" in the relationship, but a lot of sisters attitudes reflect that they don't "need one." Therefore men let them go about their business. One thing that the article didn't mention is that men with higher education degrees are much more likely to "marry down" than women who do the same. What I find is that these women have the "independent" mentality, yet they still want someone they can depend on at the end of the day.....tell a sister with a Phd to marry someone who only took some college courses and she'll look at you like you're crazy, haha...................

I agree , My brother, That men marry down all the time, and that's never frowned upon.

Which brings to the forefront the second part of my question. Isn't that the European standard and definition of partnership and relationships ??

We can't paint all black women with the same brush. We are very complex creatures and as individuals we look at things differently. We have different NEEDS from a partner. If I can't identify what I NEED from a man, How can I find a man to meet that need ??

This society taught women not to depend on the BM. This society taught black women that the black man are untrustworthy.

When did we EVER have to compete with our men ?? Do any other race have to give up their men for a high power position ??

Lets examine this farther..................

How has this society played a role on our division. The biggest issue I Believe is TRUST, HONEST communication, knowing thyself to know what YOU need in a relationship. Thus your able to fit that need.

watch



Let's see if we can hear each other. Tell me what you think.

Thanks and Peace

I hope it comes out. **smile** If not heres the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAFXi50vyTI

 
I get your points sister, but as a man who looks to protect and provide, it is hard to do so for a woman who says that she can do everything on her own. A lot of dudes figure if a woman can pay for her own dinner than why should he. I stated a couple of weeks ago that I love being "the man" in the relationship, but a lot of sisters attitudes reflect that they don't "need one." Therefore men let them go about their business. One thing that the article didn't mention is that men with higher education degrees are much more likely to "marry down" than women who do the same. What I find is that these women have the "independent" mentality, yet they still want someone they can depend on at the end of the day.....tell a sister with a Phd to marry someone who only took some college courses and she'll look at you like you're crazy, haha...................

In other words brother, those type of chicks that do not have your back and are not partner material , leave alone.


During rough times, they will look out for nobody but self. I'll say the same if a women had a man that was not trustworthy and dependable. We need more then money to survive. Hard times hit most more then once and to get over that storm, We better have a partner that is willing to go through the fire and for the long haul.

Let me share a true story . I had a very , very good male friend. He made great money. Travel the world. Had thought he was in a good relationship for over 8 years.

Everything she had, he provided. She didn't work, or go to school, nothing !! All she did was prepare meals for him. And sexed him. She didn't even have to do no major house work, or laundry or nothing. He paid for somebody else to do it. He never gave her the chance to do nothing for herself or him.

One day , he lost his job. After working for a company for so many years . 5 years before he was suppose to retire. He had a nice little nest egg, so he thought. But after being unemployed for almost 3 years , it fast dwindled. The woman that was with him for the ride, guess what she did ??

She didn't even consider changing her life style an inch. After he was unemployed for the first year. She was ghost.

Now, Who's fought was it that he was alone in his darkest moment ??

~~ SHUT UP , KEM ~~lol

Hun, IMHO, It was him.

People can't hide who they really are. He just didn't want to see her, until he was forced too.

The point I'm trying to make bro, is we are responsible for the partners we choose to have a relationship with. Nothing is forced. So to call her a "gold digger " and other names that have these days, is fine. But regardless what she was , he made the choice to be with such a person. How can men learn how to choose better ??


And things like this does not go for just men . Women are taken for a ride as well. But she has to own her role in the decision of being with such a man.

Character screams louder and character is loyal to her partner. Great character, will be by your side in any storm.

That's not gender specific.

 

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