Black People : Are religious people really what they are cracked up to be?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by legit-writer, Dec 20, 2011.

  1. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,538
    Likes Received:
    1,175
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,189
    Suppose a person is interested in making new friends, or looking for a romantic relationship to get in, and religion or a certain brand of faith comes up in terms of one of the person's standards are that they must go to church a lot, and be very religious, and if they do not fit that criteria then it is automatically a deal breaker. My question is which one do you feel is more acceptable or reasonable to you or in general a) a religious person with a dark spirit, sick mind and heartless, judgemental and uptight or b) a non-religious person who has a free spirit, clear mind, a heart of gold, realizes no one is perfect, and laid back? If you was dating someone and they are very nice and have all of the qualities you are looking for except the religion part, how would you handle that? and no i am not putting down religious people whatsoever because I am sure there are religious people with wonderful personalities as well. However, this set up I have described does exist.
     
  2. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2009
    Messages:
    14,710
    Likes Received:
    3,006
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    owner of various real estate concerns
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Ratings:
    +3,014
    In any relationship emotional or business do not, I repeat do not accept anything you do not want!
     
  3. Asomfwaa

    Asomfwaa Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2011
    Messages:
    3,399
    Likes Received:
    2,558
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +2,564
    "The friend of a fool is a fool. The friend of a wise person is another wise person." -- The Husia

    If you find a hypocritical religious person, point out their hypocrisies then take your distance. Though, what sort of a-religiosity do we mean? Like a-spiritual? Hmm.
     
  4. Full Speed

    Full Speed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    2,969
    Likes Received:
    1,043
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +1,045
    Why would the standards someone has for a mate trouble another person? What makes the standard a person has concerning religion differ from any other standard a person might have? As an individual, you will find yourself on one side or the other of a standard. You are either the person with the standard or the person attracted to the person with the standard that disqualifies you as a suitable mate. Either way, the person with the standard has a right to hold that standard and a right to determine rather he/she wants to give a waiver to a specific individual when they otherwise qualifies as a suitable mate.
     
  5. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

    Country:
    Japan
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    8,757
    Likes Received:
    5,870
    Occupation:
    independent thoughtist thinker, context linker
    Location:
    theory to application to discussion to percussion
    Ratings:
    +6,043
    Peace Legit-writer..

    let me take a crack at this... you're going to have to excuse me for cutting your post up like this but I had to break this down before I could answer it..

    The Thread title asks, "Are Religious People Really What They Are Cracked Up To Be?"

    before opening the thread, my first set of questions after my usual contextual question: what does she mean by religious people? were..

    1. who is doing the cracking?
    2. what is their motivation?
    3. and are they all that they're cracked up to be?

    ok.. then I opened your thread to be greeted with your opening posts.. and from that I
    deduced that, you are the one doing the cracking.. and your motivation is a friendship/relationship
    with someone that places a priority on his/her spiritual strivings by elevating their religious practice
    to the level of a life priority. okay.. whether it really is you or not is not the important part.. the important part is that the stage is set. ok.. and then you ask the incredibly biased and weighted question, " which one do you feel is more acceptable or reasonable to you or in general:

    "a) a religious person with a dark spirit, sick mind and heartless, judgemental and uptight"

    ok.. we can stop right there.. this is obviously not the selection you want us to choose. a dark spirit and a sick mind?.. and heartless too?.. and judgemental and uptight? wow.. this is either your opinion about the person that the person you are interested in is interested in.. or has chosen over you.. or, this is you simply flipping every one of your perceived qualities to their opposite value.. ie.. you're free spirited as opposed to dark spirited.. and you have a clear mind as opposed to a sick mind.. and a heart of gold.. wow.. as opposed to being heartless.. etc. etc.. and your "b" selection bares that theory out..

    "b) a non-religious person who has a free spirit, clear mind, a heart of gold, realizes no one is perfect, and laid back? "

    so this "a" person is the antagonist.. the anti-you.. the anti-legit-writer... and this "b" person is you.. the protagonist.. And this person you are interested in has decided that his romantic interest is reserved for someone that shares his belief system.. and so you wonder about this theoretical mate of his and you juxtapose how you see yourself with an opposite/anti-you and, of course you go as general as possible and ask, "are religous people really what they're cracked up to be?"

    And that leads us to your final question.. where you ask, "If you was dating someone and they are very nice and have all of the qualities you are looking for except the religion part, how would you handle that?"

    ok.. so this question solidifies my theory that this is about a guy you are interested in dating.. and friendship doesn't play into this at all.. you say, ..."all of the qualities.. except".. which from the outside of the guys head, is a huge presumption.. because, although you may be supremely confident in what you bring to the table, he may have an entirely different way of looking things.. and even if you're right about "all of the qualities.." the "except"... disqualifies the "all".. and changes that question to, "If you were dating someone that did not elevate religion to your same level of priority though they had other favorable qualities, how would you handle that?"

    Well, if my religion/philosophy is important to me, I'd try to share it with her.. and see how she responds. If she's open or neutral to it, then we could probably work something out.. but if she antagonistic about it.. or condescending.. or insensitive.. then it's a wrap.. there's no use looking for carrots in the bread aisle.. you gotta know what you want, and go look where it lurks. Every man/woman should have a predefined set of "Dealbreakers". If you know yourself and you know what you want, you should be extremely slow to compromise. Why settle for what you don't want? Even if what you don't want wants you.

    anyway.. that's how I see it..

    contextual columbo.. aka.. the specificifier.. over and out..

    Peace again..
     
  6. Full Speed

    Full Speed Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    2,969
    Likes Received:
    1,043
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +1,045
    Brother, you said exactly what I thought, but I didn't want my presumptions about her motives to taint the thread and I didn't want to take the time to break it down and articulate it as well as you have here.
     
  7. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

    Country:
    Japan
    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2009
    Messages:
    8,757
    Likes Received:
    5,870
    Occupation:
    independent thoughtist thinker, context linker
    Location:
    theory to application to discussion to percussion
    Ratings:
    +6,043
    Peace Full Speed,

    you're just not as selfish as me.. you know gross generalizations are my mortal enemy.. I tried to walk away several times.. but I wasn't strong enough... and breaking them down keeps my contextuator sharp.. (yeah I made that word up).. anyway.. I gave it a good 5 hours to generate some discussion before I dumped my overlong response on it.. and the wonderful open and honest Legit-writer should be used to my shtick by now..
     
  8. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,538
    Likes Received:
    1,175
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,189
    Like I said, I am not generalizing. And I said that there are folks out there who are religious who are wonderful people, so no i am not cracking at all. Too bad you guys didnt look at the whole picture rather than pick it apart. Wow... ok. thanks anyway.
     
  9. legit-writer

    legit-writer Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Messages:
    1,538
    Likes Received:
    1,175
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +1,189
    and you keep saying it is me when this has nothing to do with me whatsoever really. it is hilarious you assume the I am the one i am talking about when it's a question I have just thought of and thought I'd ask, but again, I owe you no explanation. I know my purpose and it's nothing bad. I know wonderful religious people out there who actually have a great heart. Yet you keep making these sarcastic comments towards me, when really it's not really effective. so once again, if you feel that I am that biased and the other really wise cracks you state about me, don't waste your time responding I am sure you have better things to do than to be on here calling yourself thinking you know the purpose of my questions when you do not. Then again I could be wrong about you not having anything better to do.... Moving on... anything else you say will be ignored really because this is not about debate or who is right or wrong. it is a legitimate question. just like would you rather go out with a woman/man who has a great personality or unattractive or a good looking one who has an unattractive attitude.. some folks would actually date an attractive person regardless if they have a terrible attitude. Just like there are some folks who I date a person who is religious but deep down doesn't have a very good heart. Everyone is different and I find that to be interesting to be up for discussion and see what others have to say about it. However, the only thing in your post that made sense to me and that I agree with is ""Why settle for what you don't want? Even if what you don't want wants you".. With that being said, don't hate, do some critical thinking before you answer again to my post and make assumptions that are farfetched because you make yourself look ridiculous in the process. in the mean time, take care.
     
  10. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    21,179
    Likes Received:
    9,463
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Creative Industrialist
    Location:
    Temple of Kali, Yubaland
    Ratings:
    +9,585
    Definitely the second choice (b) since most of the women I have dated are similar as that description.
     
Loading...