Black Parenting : Are parents responsible for their children's actions??

kemetstry said:
Please outline what study(s) have shown that kids that arent spanked grow to be leaders? I think that this is specious BS

Keme, why you got to be all upset and refer to someone's opinion as cow dung? You need to calm down, don't you think? :jumping: If you don't agree, just write "I don't agree". And since we're on the subject of studies, do you know of any data that shows children who aren't spanked don't grow to be leaders? Besides, what's a 'leader' by your definition?

Peace!
 
parents are fully responsible for there children in all area..it starts from birth the nuturing of the child....when you are in touch with your children..your observation will detect if your child needs more attention in certain areas...and it is up to the parents to find help to get help..and if need be to train in that area for there benefit..this is what i had to do as a young mother.

most white peolpe do not raise there children themselves...and they believe in given there children things instead of attention and affection... attention is the key word..the behavior of a young can be a cry for attention..if they are embrace more when they do positive things, then why would they want to do negative thing..or disappoint there parents and we as parents need to be aware of what we do and say in front of our children it is all in the balance of being respondsible...sometime a parent made have to go as far as quitting there job for there child benefit..because they come first..if these things are not cause at a young age...then that is where the problem child comes in...simple observation
 
WOW.....it's been a while since I looked at this post......I'm glad to see that so many of you are interested in this topic. After looking at what most of you said......I find that you want to see some edvidence supportin' my claim.......and your wish is GRANTED!!!!

I found just the right website that supports my statement. It is ces.ns2000.net/webs/cescampus/upload/oct._20.pdf.
If you don't wish to read the whole document I'll just pull out one statement in particlar that back up what I'm sayin' ,aiight?

" Statistical research has shown that children who participate in an wholesome environment; foster self discipline and perseverance."

This statement is saying that once a child is given a good enviornment that that is ALL they need and they will carry on from there. Once a child is nutured they grow and develop SELF discipline. Thus, they don't need physical discipline. I haven't found graphs and charts yet......I'm workin on that.....give me a few days......I have a book around the house somewhere..........because I used it to persuade my mother from whippin' me.......it made a very impressive argument because eventually she stopped all the way.

And secondly, I wasn't JUST talkin about white and black folks ways of discipline. And slash that comment anyway.........because after thinkin that over you can't put that type of generlization on people anyway. So whoever made that argument about that I think you should rethink yourself too.

Back to negotiating with the child.I think it is right to negotiate with the child after a certain age. Maybe starting at the age of 15 - and up. I found a published article at: www.ispcc.ie/par_discipline.htm
It states:

QUOTE:

Teenagers
NEGOTIATION:
Try to discuss any conflicts in a positive way, without getting cross. It is better to 'negotiate' with your child and find a middle way that you can both accept, just as you would with an adult.

MUTUAL RESPECT:
Teenagers are more likely to respect your views if you show respect for theirs. Imposing your opinions may only make things worse. LIMIT CRITICISM: Try not to be too critical - as they become adults, children need a lot of support and encouragement to build up their confidence.


I don't know how we got off the topic.......but um.........I must end by saying I agree with NNQueen.......that parents only should be held responsible after a certain age.
 
i strongly agree foxy and yes i stated that once a child reach an
age of teen hood that it can be more openly discussed with parents but even at 15 -17 still is on the parents to be held
accountible for them even when they not there from the study of
the type of enviornment they are brought up in really to me have no true affect i've seen and know many who was in bad enviornments come out to be great young adults and i'm one
who was brought up in the bad vibes of streethood but yes if they are in better places they come out and up respectful kids they really need support from parents to over come the power from the streets that reach at them i agree ....
 
Can somebody please tell me how this "for God-sake let's not spank our children because being soft and pandering to them works much better" mentality took hold among Blacks...of all people! The truth is spanking children DOES instill discipline, "negotiating" doesn't. As I said again one can not negotiate with kids, because parents and children are NOT equal. You can't say to a six year old--who's disrespected you at home--"please don't do that, mommy/daddy think's your being really naughty right now. So, you can have a time-out and think about what you've done ." Come on now, that kind of pathetic attempt at parental discipline will just not work! Kids don't reflect on what they've done unless shown why what they did is so bad. If you spank the six year-old he/she will associate the wrong deed with the disciplinary action, and thus, won't do it again.

The real issue why parents don't wish to spank their children is that they don't wont to be accused of physical abuse. There is a difference between physical abuse and spanking. Beating a kid black-and-blue for whatever reason is unacceptable; using the belt on the outstretched palm of a kid who's just tried to choke his little sister isn't! The problem is that some parents cross the line from discipline to abuse. But that's the parents fault not the use of corporal punishment. The truth is parents should apply a carott and stick approach to discipline; it shouldn't be all spanking nor should it be all "negotiating". Kids should be praised for doing right and punished for doing wrong--simple as that.
 

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