Black Relationships : Are our standards fair?

kente417mojo

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jan 22, 2004
3,756
35
So many times I have hear people list all the qualities of a potential candidate for a relationship and it trips me out. There are a lot of broke people who want someone with money. There are not so attractive people who only want model types. There are people who sleep around who want someone whose monogomous. People with NO car only want to date someone with a car. There are people living with their parents who only want someone with their own place. My question is why are we like this. Why doesn't anyone want to work together anymore? Me personally, I look for aspirations and drive. I can care less if you have a car at the moment, if you look like a model or if you make tons of money. What do you guys think? Are we setting ourselves up to miss out on someone special just because we want to find someone with things we can't or don't want to get for ourselves? :peace:
 
First and foremost I don't really seek qualities in others that I myself do not posess. We do not need to be exactly alike, but I'd prefer that there not be drastic differences. I aslo don't expect one person to be perfect, if he had 80% of the qualities I desire I could overlook the other 15% he is lacking... the most important thing is his willingness to grow and work on our relationship.

Ironically though, opposites attract and when I look around me I see that most people who are involved are with someone who lacks what they claim they were looking for.
 
I agree totally. I mean, we don't have to be the same, but for me there has to be goals and that want to make her life better. I don't want a lazy person, but we can work on a lot together if I really dig that person. You don't have to walk in nearly perfect is what I'm saying. I'm obviously not perfect and I don't make a ton of money, so why should I look for that. No one is that great that they need to look for someone perfect. People have to deal with my imperfections the same way I have to deal with theirs. Not saying anyone should settle, but there are very good people who don't have a lot, who don't look like a model and who don't have a car or house of their own. This doesn't make them less of a person than someone who is beautiful "outside" and well off financially.
 
indeed many seek things or types that they don't have of lone to have in a
match making myth but true and heart comes from deep within i seek what can't
be touched from the outter side and look deeply into the inner beings of a person
so true so many do look at money/cars/looks/glamor and all the outter stuff and
forget to see what's inside and miss the true treasure of a human being.
 
I dont know why many people are like this.......but they are. I personally would never require of a potential girlfriend, something I dont have/cant do, and cant at least match or substitute for. I get really turned off when I hear people expect of others what they dont of themself. For men it is usually monogamy, loyalty and some domestic skills......for women it often seems to be a house/condo of his own, a degree from a top school, a set of wheels, and a high paying job. In these situations, teh person asking for the qualities or assests almost NEVER has them. I cant stand a woman like that becuase I am not like that and wouldnt do it.
 

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