Black Relationships : APPROACHING BLACK WOMEN...

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Isaiah, Mar 24, 2006.

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  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brothers, we've heard each other's styles and approaches to engaging our sisters, but never in a whole thread that might possibly be beneficial to brothers who might be having some difficulties with the process... I thought it might be an interesting idea for us to solicit the advice of each brother -without judgement of his personal methods and approaches - so that other brothers might be able to pick up a pointer or two on this...

    As you know, the whole courtship thing is a process, and some brothers may be good at the "ice-breaking" stage of that process, while still others are not... This does NOT mean the brother who is not, does not have the prerequistes to be a wonderful conversationalist(if only sisters understood that)... It may mean he is shy, or a little unsure of what works, or unsure himself period, and yet once he gets cookin' and comfortable, he's a different person(would that sisters understood that, as well)...

    In any event, I thought a sharing thread like this would be good for all of us... I've noticed some of the brothers here have mad smoothness, and was wondering if you might not like to share that smoothness with some of the rest of us... Sisters may participate as well...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Dearest Brother Isaiah....you are one of the most valuable members in this community and you constantly prove how much you love your Black people. But brother, lately, you have been lighting some fires under people's butts with your selection of topics. :jumping:

    Whew, I just hope this one doesn't go by the way of some of it's predecessors. Looking forward to a productive, intelligent and CALM discussion.

    Wishing us all the best,
    Queenie :heart: :)
     
  3. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think brothas need to try and just cease with the lines. I meet people naturally. I usually don't see someone and try and gather myself and think of a line to spit at her. If I'm in the music store I might strike up a conversation about a cd she picks up. Or I might make a comment about the food in her basket in the grocery store. Other than that, I don't approach women that often. There has to be something pretty special about you to make me approach someone. I think the most important thng is to try and make it as natural as possible. Also, read her demeanor. If she looks like one of those man-haters....keep it movin'.
     
  4. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi, Queenie, how're you this morning!

    Wow, I hope this kind of thread will yeild some good ideas for ALL of us, as none of us is perfect in this area... Most of us have found some keys, some solutions, but we could always use another key to open the hearts and minds of our beloved Black Women... I sure hope THAT would not cause brothers to descend into fighting and jabbing at one another, because that would tell me we got problems - WHEW!(smile!)

    Again, I want brothers to bring their unique perspectives without JUDGEMENT from other brothers... If you cannot do that, then find another thread to vent your stuff on... I like to think of this thread as our attemtpt to bring us closer to what we want by providing us with(forgive the pun)more ammunition and weapons in which to secure a sister's heart... This is not about judging a brother's game, or I would not have put this thread up... Hope we can all learn a thing or two Queenie, my teacher...:book:



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  5. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    These are things that I really wish Sisters would understand as well.....But alas, I realize that I can't sit around waiting for Sisters to get it, any longer, and that I must do something about my own predicament, if it is ever to change for the better.

    To my Brother Isaiah and any other teach-worthy Brother, you have a most humble and willing pupil :bully:

    PEACE
     
  6. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i just walk up to them and ask if they would like me to take care of their rent or their car payment or both..........:dance:
     
  7. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Also, remember that women are human-beings just like men. They want to have a successful relationship like anyone else. They don't have super-powers or anything, so there's nothing to be afraid of once you feel the need to approach one. It's a good idea to know what you want to say to a woman, but you don't have to map out the whole conversation beforehand. That's what trips a lot of brothas up. They start forgetting their lines when there should be none in the first place. You shouldn't make it feel like an audition.
     
  8. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Or you could just do that.........

    Success rate of 100% right there.
     
  9. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    J......

    Ooooh, which highway do I take to get to Philly?
     
  10. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Isaiah this is going to be fun....I need some new stuff.........Approaching a woman..........man alright........just roll up and start a conversation......compliment her, make small talk she'll let you know if she wants to take it any further .......I'm not looking for a soulmate so I do approach a lot of women and as each woman has a different vibe you have to have different methods of approach........some women you can compliment some get instantly turned off by a man who comes with a compliment, some of the women I've met were simply because I've asked what perfume they were wearing it's simple yall .......just strike up some type of convo don't push the issue and go with the flow..........I have at times used gifts to meet women........I only do this ever so often but it works......remember law of averages Brothers (for me anyway).......before you go out.....get a couple dozen roses (I know it's played and corny but man it works) Not just reds though get something different I personally (for a while now) have used fire and ice roses...(they are a cold piece) ....now you head off and roll into the bar,club,house party,friendly get together don't matter with the roses and for every woman you'd like to talk to give her one.......it blows them up........I went into a spot once with 3 dozen of them bad boys and started giving em out like candy and man let me tell you I had more than enough company ......and conversation for the night.......
    at times I'll go out and find a table full of women having a party or whatever and just get up amongst them and start talking............

    just don't practice lines or premade conversations you must approach women with a taoist attitude and let the interaction go where it may don't force it don't push it just go with it and enjoy the moment....even if I don't score I enjoy talking with women and being in their company so regardless of the outcome I always enjoy those moments.and usually when I'm out I am in the presence of a lot of women sitting talking cooling, havin a drank or 2 ...and usually I'm with more than one .......anyway.....lets get this going I got a lot to learn......


    MississippiRed
     
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