Black People : Apperances

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by UbZoRbShUn, Jul 3, 2001.

  1. UbZoRbShUn

    UbZoRbShUn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Lets say you met someone in a poetry room online. You all conversate back and forth, share poems, blah, blah, blah. You never meet this person at all physically. I mean no pictures sent via e-mail or otherwise. You just know that this person is the bomb,from the conversations and poetry shared.

    After about lets say 4 months or so you all decide that you want to know what one another look like. You exchange pictures. One of you is dissappointed. Why?

    Do we as a people put too much presure on one another to look a certain way? Is that egged on by models, magazine covers, songs etc., etc. Personally I don't care. Never have, never will. "It's not about the package, but the contents within". You can have the most fly brotha or sista, but then they have nothing to say. Help me out yall. Let a sista know what's up.
     
  2. Andre98

    Andre98 New Member MEMBER

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    We all know looks SHOULDN'T matter....

    But we can't help it as humans, even the best of us are swayed by appearances. I prefer to chat and communicate with out a pic of myself for just that reason. So many people, even when chatting casually, are curious about what the other person looks like, and if in the same area, may even have hopes of meeting off line. I think it hits women harder because of the way society more harshly judges a woman's looks.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hey 'Zorbsh'n ... :wave: ... nice topic Sis

    Each of us are entitled to want what we want. If a man tells me he's a devil worshipper, after chatting 4 months ... well ... uuuhhhh ... :eeek: ... that aint 'zacklee what I want. So ... no matter the choice ... appearances, religion, finances, etc., ... everyone is entitled to want what they want. My 2 cent Sis. :)

    :wave: Haaaaaaay Andre98 !!!! :wave: :wave:

    Welcome ~ Welcome ~ Welcome

    So glad to see you signed in and posting! :heart: I agree with you that the online community almost "requires" a picture of one's self. I think it's directly related to the advancement of the technology and the ability this medium has for us to get to know each other so personally ... from a distance. There is audio/video chat capablity now, soon a picture will not be enough ... a person will have to get on the cam. Cams are relatively inexpensive and it will seem "suspicious" if a person doesn't have one ... much like it is now if a person doesn't have a pic or phone number to share (yet they want to become friends :love: ).

    I'm going to agree with Kemetstry on this one :eeek:

    I am always harder on me than anyone else could ever be ...
    than I'd allow anyone else to be ... hehehe ... :wink:

    Destee
     
  4. shaneak

    shaneak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nice Topic....

    why would the other be disappointed...honestly i really couldn't tell you. I mean that is if they have already discussed appearances and everything said was the truth. If not..then i understand disappointments...its just like talking to someone else on the phone and you put a face with the voice but in person...the face doesn't match the voice...i had that happen once...but he was still cute.. :D never dated though...i tend to disagree with personal closeness online...maybe offline after a few months of conversation like you know...us hanging but thats about it on dhat level. Theirs some crazy people out their...many willing to lie to get what they want...

    I don't think we put pressure on anyone...everyone just like what the like...and well we can't change that. Many people base a lot of what they do on a visual stand point. I know women and men that will tell you quick...i don't have ugly friends... That justs their visual on other people and how they view themselves...once again...its a strange world out their... :)
     
  5. diva08

    diva08 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hmmm

    *she has nothing better to do*

    i saw an episode of law and order where this woman and this dude met online and fell totally in love. she moved to where he was to be with him, and then decided to sue him when she found out he was a little person (midget, dwarf -- something like that.)

    image matters. you want to be with someone you can look at. as much as the inside is absolutely wonderul, the outside is judged. that's why this internet is a blessing and a curse. you get to know beautiful people who you would otherwise never speak to on the street, but then you find out they aren't a person you would ever speak to on the street.

    d08
     
  6. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yeah, I do think too much pressure is put on both men and women to look a certain way, or be considered ugly or below average. I'd much rather look within the person, than focus solely on what's without.

    To me, it is promoted by what we see on television and in magazines, and movies and so on. However, a person doesn't have to accept it that way; we can very well come to our own conclusions on people's looks, but many like it fine the way it is.