Black Poetry : anticipation

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by the_story, Dec 1, 2003.

  1. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    5:00 waiting for a dream date....

    sweat formed on my brow
    and fell and hit the concret
    with enough force to split it,
    where is he?
    i ask myself, wondering silently,
    my ice cream was melting in my hand
    heat raising in my mind
    a headache crept into my skull
    making me crave Advil,
    disappointment heaved through
    my lungs, was i stood up again?
    he said he would be here....
    wind passed through my hair
    and i looking into the crowd
    trying to see my way through
    the groups of people that stumbled,
    ran,tripped, scrambled to there destinations
    nowhere to be found
    anger,sadness, disappointment,
    tugged at my soul as i walked away.....

    to be continued.....
     
  2. LovelyGoldenOne

    LovelyGoldenOne Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i'm really lovin' how u wrote this....nice...
     
  3. Bluewater

    Bluewater Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hey the story baby gurl
    this was tight and strong
    nice indeed
    Peace
     
  4. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks glad u all liked it,
    love,
    -story
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very beautiful lovin this flow continue please
     
  6. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    wonderful flow..please continue...:angel1:
     
  7. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks rich,
    much love,
    -story
     
  8. krazelyricks

    krazelyricks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes this was indeed a tyte flow......I personally liked the part about Advil........I liked the flow but that line stuck out to me........
     
  9. MsGhettoPoet

    MsGhettoPoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thats the key.....always keep them wanting mooooooore.lol. but on da real, this was good and i cant wait for the rest, keep doin u and do wut u do.
     
  10. the_story

    the_story Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    just doin my do, glad u liked
    love,
    -story
     
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