Poetry Critiques : Angel Repainted

CasaGriot

Active Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jul 4, 2012
29
9
Every now and then
you love to throw yourself a pity party
and demand that everyone attends,
with you the sh*t never ends!​
But I refuse to recuse my opinions
on account of your perverse notion
of some skewered dominion in which
I'm supposed to be some sort of serf?
You've got some nerve!​
It was pity that lured me to the block
of twisting matrimonial locks with you-
now drops the other shoe...​
I must confess without finesse
that the coochie was juicy;
that I craved it with impunity,
that I lusted after it like it was a sacred duty;
but in the blink of an I
the whole thing devolved into the perpetually fussy.​
And truth, that ever present but oft times not acknowledged brute
hung between us like a winter pall-​
persued us down every hall,
every rabbit hole,​
wrecked every half assed attempt at what might
have turned out to be the semblence of a flow - JAH knows!​
I'm so sick of us I secretly hope one of us would just drop dead,
just so one of us could move on up ahead,
a shoulder, a finger -​
a hairs' breadth what the hell ever!​
Cause we're drowning!
and when the etheral waters finally pull together to erase
our regrettable spots-
the universe will sigh in relief because we are finally not.​
 
:hello: CasaGriot ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

What a beautifully written and interesting piece!

Sister ... you got me over here thinking ... :thinking: ... wait ... i understood ... but do i ... ??!!!

One minute i'm thinking you're talking to 'them', but then it looks like you're talking to me! :eeek: :)

It's some deep stuff in this poem ... i'm trying to get it all too !!! ... :toast: :toast: :toast:

Great Share! Thank You!

Please make yourself right at home, because you are!

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee
 

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