Poetry Critiques : Angel Repainted

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by CasaGriot, Jul 5, 2012.

  1. CasaGriot

    CasaGriot Active Member MEMBER

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    Every now and then
    you love to throw yourself a pity party
    and demand that everyone attends,
    with you the sh*t never ends!​
    But I refuse to recuse my opinions
    on account of your perverse notion
    of some skewered dominion in which
    I'm supposed to be some sort of serf?
    You've got some nerve!​
    It was pity that lured me to the block
    of twisting matrimonial locks with you-
    now drops the other shoe...​
    I must confess without finesse
    that the coochie was juicy;
    that I craved it with impunity,
    that I lusted after it like it was a sacred duty;
    but in the blink of an I
    the whole thing devolved into the perpetually fussy.​
    And truth, that ever present but oft times not acknowledged brute
    hung between us like a winter pall-​
    persued us down every hall,
    every rabbit hole,​
    wrecked every half assed attempt at what might
    have turned out to be the semblence of a flow - JAH knows!​
    I'm so sick of us I secretly hope one of us would just drop dead,
    just so one of us could move on up ahead,
    a shoulder, a finger -​
    a hairs' breadth what the hell ever!​
    Cause we're drowning!
    and when the etheral waters finally pull together to erase
    our regrettable spots-
    the universe will sigh in relief because we are finally not.​
     
  2. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    :hello: CasaGriot ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

    What a beautifully written and interesting piece!

    Sister ... you got me over here thinking ... :thinking: ... wait ... i understood ... but do i ... ??!!!

    One minute i'm thinking you're talking to 'them', but then it looks like you're talking to me! :eeek: :)

    It's some deep stuff in this poem ... i'm trying to get it all too !!! ... :toast: :toast: :toast:

    Great Share! Thank You!

    Please make yourself right at home, because you are!

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  3. CasaGriot

    CasaGriot Active Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for taking a look at the verse. Appreciate the welcome.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    wow great line well versed
     
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