An Open Letter To The Destee.com Family In light of the issues that befell this community some time on or around the early morning hours of 12 June 2004; I would first like to apologize. I’m apologizing for letting my emotions get away with me and “calling another poster” out of their name. I recognize the fact that much of my anger was not even with the poster or what was said; but there were mitigating circumstances that had already riled me, and in my attempt to flee to Destee.com, to forget and soothe my own nerves, I ran smack dab into the same kind of nonsense and things boiled over. Just so you can understand. I told many of you that one of the organizations that were coming up was one that put emphasis on African-American women helping each other; especially those with limited educational and job-related training; and who find themselves raising kids alone, etc. There were 67 women at the first meeting. We are doing very simple and small things, based upon helping each other… like childcare while one goes on a job interview, bartering services with each other, transportation, shopping, etc… added to that computer training, writing skills, we even have a sister (as snooty as she is) who is offering Diction classes. And some are even discussing house sharing, that would allow them to stop paying rent and start saving. But, anyway, during our last meeting, there was a sister there, she is in her early 40’s. She has two kids who are basically grown; her first born has just began college and she needs to help them out. This lady, just looking at her gives you a sense that she is confident, no frills, and can do almost anything. For the last few years she has been working at a recycling plant, making $9.00 an hour. She put up some years in college when she was younger, and based upon the things she told us, I assume that she was in engineering or something like that. She is a very friendly lady, the kind who just starts talking to anyone, and she has an uproarious humor. She had recently taken a state mechanical aptitude test and aced it… I mean, she seems highly intelligent, and when it comes to mechanical things she can do it; I thought I was blessed with the knowledge of being able to do minor repairs to my truck like changing the oil, and the belts and things like that… she has me beat by a long run. So, she went from there and qualified for a salaried position with Cox Cable down here. A position that is starting off right at $30,000...(starting, but can increase with knowledge). This is the kicker, she is talking to the supervisors at the plant about the possibility of herself taking this job, and she is asking them what they think. According to her, they said, “You don’t want to do that, stay here with us, that job don’t sound secure, you are secure here with us…” And somehow she has began questioning taking the position. I mean she works on an assembly line making $9.00/hr., and they are telling her the she doesn’t need to take the job working for cable? I just asked her a lot of questions, and all she could say was “They nice, they told me that they could make me a line supervisor.” And my antennae goes up. Why? When? Have they made the offer? Have they gave you the position (and by the way if they did make her a line supervisor, she will be making $12/hr. instead of $9): and did I say that Cablevision has a comprehensive healthcare package to take care of herself and her two kids? Add to that the fact that my very significant other is badgering me, because I am somewhat of a failure myself. I have been given an ultimatum, before this month is over get my business up and running; and stop being afraid of failing…although I am promised them as a safety net; (and I am afraid, that is why you all haven’t heard me speak on it for awhile, failure, my paycheck, my 401K, my mortgage etc…). Add that to coming in here, looking for respite, and being attacked as being Hateful because I do believe in African-American life (all of it); and I do believe that most all of our ills are in our hands to fix; and I had a meltdown. That is not an excuse. I am just trying to explain what was on my mind. I don’t have a problem with White people (and to be stupid and make nonsensical correlations--my paternal grandmother who I loved to death and who loved me was White). I believe in God and God’s message as I interpret it. I have no problem with integration as a premise, but I recognize that it has been destructive for Us; and that is Our Own fault… We still have that “Grass Greener Scenario” going on. I don’t hate or dislike other racial or ethnic groups--- they are not important to me; but I find that We could take lessons from all of them… Self-Love and Xenophobia and at the very top. The last thing anyone ought to do concerning Racists and their drivel is engaging them in commonsense talk. I recognize too, that I cannot save everybody; and maybe not anyone. I was wrong in the way I delivered my message… that is just a fact… I was brought up to never stoop to another person’s level or let them inside my personal space. I forgot and I apologize.