Black Relationships : am i ready to date and untill what point is it fair..?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by LibertyLady, Mar 3, 2004.

  1. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hi all......
    how are you doing :heart:


    i have an question and i would like to have youre apinion a speccially from the sisters but man are welcome to...
    Its a seriuis question ....

    After a long time now i,m starting verry carefull to have contacts with guys
    as far as giving them my phonenumber and just talk or you know just to have a drink ....and maybe go out....
    with other words dating....I dont get intemate cause thats the big step for me besides i only do that when my heart beats and i feel good and feel the match .
    People advised me to do this cause i have to build up the trust again with guys...and they say you can always try you never know ....
    It is not easy for me to do this because i tried before and i ended up with verry agrassive guys who didnt except after it that i didnt have feelings for them......and that was sumthimes even with a simple conversation......

    a long time i though...i will never date again i dont feel safe ...
    actually i turned a little clauserfobic because i some how often thought that
    that it was just a game for them or that they just had bad plans....
    because of the manny times before i experianced .........
    and those were bad...( and realy most of the times my visions and feelings were right)
    and god is my withness i was always kind and nice and open about my feelings....( when i couldd express them to them persenaly)

    Now i try to put my trust in god and let him guide me...

    I have been in a serius relationship 2/3 years ago wich was 4 years that it lasted....and than we broke up it was the only person i gave myself to aswell as spirritual and phisical but it wasnt mutul so it turned ...
    that made it hard to let go ...
    cause i always said that i can give myself ones my self to give me ones...

    Than you have to face facts and move on...

    Than after that i had strong feelings for a person..
    vision i had....i,m sorry but i cant put it down in any other way ...i still dont understand what i had experianced last two years around ""a soul maybe ?"' i dont know how to put it cause it wasnt clear excuse me
    isnt......but my thought and heart often went to this soul....
    But some one gave me the advise to let that go because misty things are not good for you in this time of youre life there is nothing worser the be in doubt about things .Things have to be clear and just meet guys ,dont go and search and dwell on internet love (that not what i called it from what i feld but ok i understands what people mean and yeah i have to listen to the wise ones now cause i am messy in my head) ) meet guys than you know if its the real thing and that you can see right away if he or she is youre type or not...


    So now these days i meet and great...
    last time a brother ask me if i am ready....?
    So he kinda confronted me with this question...
    and i was thinking about it and that why i wanted to ask you guys..

    when are you ready to date....?
    and Untill what point is it fair...
    I mean i saw this show The "'bachelorette"' and i saw this woman kissing a guy and than another one .i mean i have respect for her ....(everyone has the choice to live his or her life the way it wants to...)
    but i coulndt do that i mean it would confuse myself more...

    and i mean is it far that lests say i,m going out with "" Pim"" today and tommorow with "" Pom"" and than with ""pan "" and eventually i have feelings for ""POM "" and i would tell PIM and PAM ......
    isnt that like.....not nice...?

    wouldnt Pim and Pam say ""BAM"' ...
    wouldnt they be angry...?

    I mean i would be sad but not angry ....
    but how do guys respond on that...

    Than another question...

    for example Last two years i was thinking about my past relationship and talked with him about my breake up..
    but lets say more and much more about another soul ...
    does the times i was thinking about my past relationship wich were only painfull memory,s means that i still love my ex or is that just a part of the proces..?

    And before i start a new relationship it is nessesary that that pain and thoughs are removed from me
    from my ex
    and this Soul that entered in my visions after my ex .......
    right ? or not ?


    Like i said I,m trying.....

    but am i ready....
    cause i realy want to give people but also myself a '"TRY"""

    but am i ready..?


    HeLp!



    L :heart: ve Libertylady...
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    it can be on every person , i feel what u saying here but
    sometime chances are to be taken and hope it turn out
    right ....can't wait to hear the other females speak on dis.
     
  3. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    love is wanted and needed by all!!...you cannot deprive yourself of it. but I feel the need to say this: You (we) CANNOT bring baggage from one relationship to another, often times we blindly unload on another something he/she is not deserving of. And if its not in your heart to forgive whoever wronged you...you will carry (subconciously) the load with you, and eventually will smother your present/future relationship. Just my opinion from someone who...been there,...done that
     
  4. MzBlkAngel

    MzBlkAngel Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    only you can say when your ready
    look within ones self and ask the
    question
    what do you want....
    love is a funny thing
    cant leave without it
    but yet hard to live with it
    i think we all think of pass mates rather bad or good
    the thing is you dont want to make the say mistake twice...
    but you have to also take a chance on love
    but only you can decide when your ready
    well this be my 2 cent rambling
    Peace
    Angel
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed i hear y'all
    u can be as ready as u feel and allow self to be
    theirs no time on it , but the inner feelings and
    heart knows look in the mirror the answer is there
     
  6. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    :heart: thanks for youre responds all
    it ment a lot




    Libertylady
     
  7. LibertyLady

    LibertyLady Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks for youre responds beauty,s :grouphug:

    i found out i was ready as far as get to know people ..
    have a talk and ..you know...other wise you wont know of you have a match or not.....(so maybe you can call that taking chances)

    I also found out that i need to work out the grieve....that is in my heart..
    i was always carefull with jumping into another relationship after the one you were in because of the grieve you have thats why i still havent start a new one....

    Cause i dont want to bring things into another ...relationship..
    I want to give full 100% procent ..i dont go for the fake thing...
    i want to go for the real thing....and i always saw a relationship like that

    its aint no joke ......Its a beautifull but also fragile thing...if you dont put believe faith ,love in it....time...
    i have to be fresh and clean maybe you can call it that way...
    maybe i have to be bapsised i dont know.....
    i do whatever it takes ...""i wanna be ready""

    i mean the other day ...a mother of a friend died ...so young ...
    i was like ....""'boom time fly,s lifes short""'all the hairs on youre head are counted says the book of life......""



    I did found out i wasnt ready as far as .....

    Loving myself on the part of taking care of youre tempel...

    It can happen in youre life and i,m shure the lady,s know what i,m talking about..

    that you neglect youre body needs because of the longing for that "'little love "' and i call it that little love because its little compare what god gives us...

    eat good ..
    sleep good...

    i have to admit....

    i failed in that ...

    my refrigerator was angry at me...and my Wok (you know a pan were you bake stuff in.....was like ""Where are youre skills lady?"' havent seen you in along time..)
    and our microwave was like ""here we go again "' (portrait)
    and my bed was like......

    WHERE IS SHE....she is late?

    and the computer was my one of my best friends....



    lady lady lady ..... shaking my head .....

    all for love????(thinking)


    so what when you run in to him one of these days ........

    you know that one ...or lets say that thing you are looking for.....
    that feeling thats in youre heart....(cause that has to be there we all know thaT ).

    ""you be like well.....uhhh yeah i,m not on my best right........now...
    though if he loves you enyway trough all that ya know its tha real thing"'

    but you know ...you know....

    or maybe i faint .....

    because of the neglecting food thing....

    or sleep...


    I,m like Hello ""BOOM""....


    i wake up...

    So what hobby,s do you have .. (stumic ) """GRRRRRRRRRRRAUUUUUUUWWW"'



    He Go ""WHAT WAS THAT!...""


    :blush: :blush:


    eeehh umm ""but i love food You know""?



    he go yeah right....!




    So thanks all...




    Lovelibertylady....
     
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