Black Relationships : am i ready to date and untill what point is it fair..?

LibertyLady

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Aug 24, 2002
2,082
8
Holland
Occupation
social worker...
hi all......
how are you doing :heart:


i have an question and i would like to have youre apinion a speccially from the sisters but man are welcome to...
Its a seriuis question ....

After a long time now i,m starting verry carefull to have contacts with guys
as far as giving them my phonenumber and just talk or you know just to have a drink ....and maybe go out....
with other words dating....I dont get intemate cause thats the big step for me besides i only do that when my heart beats and i feel good and feel the match .
People advised me to do this cause i have to build up the trust again with guys...and they say you can always try you never know ....
It is not easy for me to do this because i tried before and i ended up with verry agrassive guys who didnt except after it that i didnt have feelings for them......and that was sumthimes even with a simple conversation......

a long time i though...i will never date again i dont feel safe ...
actually i turned a little clauserfobic because i some how often thought that
that it was just a game for them or that they just had bad plans....
because of the manny times before i experianced .........
and those were bad...( and realy most of the times my visions and feelings were right)
and god is my withness i was always kind and nice and open about my feelings....( when i couldd express them to them persenaly)

Now i try to put my trust in god and let him guide me...

I have been in a serius relationship 2/3 years ago wich was 4 years that it lasted....and than we broke up it was the only person i gave myself to aswell as spirritual and phisical but it wasnt mutul so it turned ...
that made it hard to let go ...
cause i always said that i can give myself ones my self to give me ones...

Than you have to face facts and move on...

Than after that i had strong feelings for a person..
vision i had....i,m sorry but i cant put it down in any other way ...i still dont understand what i had experianced last two years around ""a soul maybe ?"' i dont know how to put it cause it wasnt clear excuse me
isnt......but my thought and heart often went to this soul....
But some one gave me the advise to let that go because misty things are not good for you in this time of youre life there is nothing worser the be in doubt about things .Things have to be clear and just meet guys ,dont go and search and dwell on internet love (that not what i called it from what i feld but ok i understands what people mean and yeah i have to listen to the wise ones now cause i am messy in my head) ) meet guys than you know if its the real thing and that you can see right away if he or she is youre type or not...


So now these days i meet and great...
last time a brother ask me if i am ready....?
So he kinda confronted me with this question...
and i was thinking about it and that why i wanted to ask you guys..

when are you ready to date....?
and Untill what point is it fair...
I mean i saw this show The "'bachelorette"' and i saw this woman kissing a guy and than another one .i mean i have respect for her ....(everyone has the choice to live his or her life the way it wants to...)
but i coulndt do that i mean it would confuse myself more...

and i mean is it far that lests say i,m going out with "" Pim"" today and tommorow with "" Pom"" and than with ""pan "" and eventually i have feelings for ""POM "" and i would tell PIM and PAM ......
isnt that like.....not nice...?

wouldnt Pim and Pam say ""BAM"' ...
wouldnt they be angry...?

I mean i would be sad but not angry ....
but how do guys respond on that...

Than another question...

for example Last two years i was thinking about my past relationship and talked with him about my breake up..
but lets say more and much more about another soul ...
does the times i was thinking about my past relationship wich were only painfull memory,s means that i still love my ex or is that just a part of the proces..?

And before i start a new relationship it is nessesary that that pain and thoughs are removed from me
from my ex
and this Soul that entered in my visions after my ex .......
right ? or not ?


Like i said I,m trying.....

but am i ready....
cause i realy want to give people but also myself a '"TRY"""

but am i ready..?


HeLp!



L :heart: ve Libertylady...
 

queentswana

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jan 24, 2004
7,007
162
Brick City
Occupation
day care provider (own business)
love is wanted and needed by all!!...you cannot deprive yourself of it. but I feel the need to say this: You (we) CANNOT bring baggage from one relationship to another, often times we blindly unload on another something he/she is not deserving of. And if its not in your heart to forgive whoever wronged you...you will carry (subconciously) the load with you, and eventually will smother your present/future relationship. Just my opinion from someone who...been there,...done that
 

MzBlkAngel

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Aug 26, 2003
12,660
191
somewhere ova da rainbow....
only you can say when your ready
look within ones self and ask the
question
what do you want....
love is a funny thing
cant leave without it
but yet hard to live with it
i think we all think of pass mates rather bad or good
the thing is you dont want to make the say mistake twice...
but you have to also take a chance on love
but only you can decide when your ready
well this be my 2 cent rambling
Peace
Angel
 

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