Black Relationships : Am I fighting a losing battle?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Boss_Lady, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. Boss_Lady

    Boss_Lady Member MEMBER

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    I have been with my fiance for almost 4 years and together we have 4 kids together. We have been living together for over 2 years. So let me just get to the point....We have been engaged for almost 8 months and I am not a materialistic person. I don't want to waste money on a big ceremony when we can go to the courthouse to get married. We have a mortgage, 2 cars and a family to take care of. In the past 2 months, we were suppose to have gone to the courthouse 3 times, one of those times being on our anniversary, which he has already started to forget! And the 4th time was yesterday. He woke up so happy saying today was the day, today was the day, we were going to do it. He had to go to work but he would come back home so we could go. I missed a call from him 2 mins before 2 asking me to call him and he wanted me to meet him at the studio. And since I haven't mentioned this before, the studio is one of his lovers! He puts the studio over a lot when it comes to me and the kids. It takes a while to get yourself and 3 kids ready to leave the house, so when I finally left it was 3pm, the courthouse closes at 4pm. It takes a bout 15 mins to get to the studio depending on the traffic which there was a lot of. So after finishing up there and he walked us back to the car, I fussed him out. I have had enough with his lack of respect for me. I told him that I didn't want to get married to him anymore because he seems to make excuses why he can't when I plan it but i'm suppose to drop what i'm doing for what he wants me to do. He had the nerve to say well why didn't I say that over the phone. He planned it! The studio was not on the original memo. Why should I have had to mention anything to him if he really wanted to go ahead with it. That further let me know that he won't change and that even if we were to get married, everything else will be more important than what's important to me. I have dealt with so much in our relationship and I feel like enough is enough. How much more do I allow him to do to me and how much more do I allow my kids to see before it's time to pack up and leave?! Am I overreacting? Any males can give any advice on what's really going on? P.S. He's the only child, only child complex and is also a con person. Smh Thanks in advance.
     
  2. IFE

    IFE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Since you asked for male advice, I won't offer any.
    Not to be unkind but your guys treatment is almost laughable. Not funny.
    Did you say he is a con person? Girl, please.
    If I was your mother I'd ask is his name on your Deed. You did mention mortgage.
    I hope your name is on the Deed!

    I'm mother to an only child who is now a married man. SMH i don't know how his wife puts up with his selfish ways. He was taught by his Dad things men do. Paying bills, buying and furnishing a home, family first, etc.
    But, there are things you cant teach.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    :hello: Boss_Lady ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :wave:

    Thanks for joining us and sharing!

    I'm glad IFE brought the thread back up!

    I enjoyed reading your story! I smiled throughout the whole thing! It's been a few days since you posted and i hope you did not leave yo' baby daddy ... :lol: ... yall dun made all them chiren together, now you wanna find stuff you don't like about him?! ... Gurl ... let it go ... it was a cute story, had us right there with you ... i felt your pain, obviously wanting more from him ... and maybe there is a way to get that ... iono ... word is ... there's more than one way to skin a cat ... but anywho ... i hope yall get married, get all you want, keep your family together, and keep building great memories with the man you love ... just like the one you shared with us!

    You aint said nuth'n really bad 'bout the Brother at all ... :lol:

    I bet yall dun made another baby by now ... :baby:

    Too precious. Thanks again for sharing.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Boss_Lady

    Boss_Lady Member MEMBER

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    Thank you. We did get married last Friday. Our relationship has became so great over the past few weeks. It's been great. And about making more babies, I can't! I know my limit lol. We are good with the 4 we already have. Thanks for the reply.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    get yourself some professional counseling.....
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Congratulations to you all!!! ... :toast1: ... :dance4: ... :toast1:

    Such a beautiful story, thanks for sharing with us!

    Wishing you and yours the very best ... FOREVER!!! ... :love:

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    we are professionally trained on the internet to be an expert in any and every thing

    we're ready ... :)

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    :11100:and dats why i advise all sisters to get off the internet for counseling....
     
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  9. chuck

    chuck Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good advice!
     
  10. chuck

    chuck Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    On point and on time!!
     
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