Black Poetry : Alicia's Testimony

Hi Soulful, I felt the pain in your words like crying out. There is love here for you here. He say she say is just that and nothing more, never let others hurtful words define you. I had to come to grips with that and learn to sit still and feed myself with positive food. Those gossiping negative people are operating on a lower level and when your soul aches, it's pushing you to keep reaching hgher beyond those people and you'll be welcomed into something better. Your brother knew you were created as something beautiful. Keep writing poet. Much love to you! :heart:
 
Once again thanks goes out to my brothers and sisters for not casting down judgement on a lonely soul that got lost by the wayside. I still haven't brought myself to tell my family this because I know that they won't understand for all I know they may begin to think I'm crazy. So I hold on to this as my little secret that i can't trust my family with. Hopefully one day I will be able to reach out and explain my situation to them but in the mean time I'll cling to my family here and keep my eyes to the skies.
 
Standing in the kitchen with
The cold blade resting on my wrist
I think to myself this is it
I will end my life right here today
In the hopes that I don't have to pay the price
Of living another day of my life
Praying the whole while
God please don't let that little child walk through
that door and see his sister
Bleeding to death on the floor
Thoughts of why I was chosen
To bear the pain to live
My life in this constant rain
To always feel like I can not maintain
The challenges I've faced all about
To be thrown away
In A single moment in time
My body and spirit
disconnect and that would be it
Not another day of watching my life waste away
In the endless cycle of he say she say
That plagued me for so long
No this is not another sad song
I really almost killed myself
my life was nothing but a living hell
And I thought about for it so long
Just press down as hard as you can
then put the knife in the bloody hand and
Do the same thing to the other side
You can do it if you try
After the right arm is done
It will be much easier to do the other one
Just do it
you know you don't want to live
Don't worry about heaven you don't care if God
forgives
These thoughts running through my head
Eyes tired of crying and blood shot red
All for the sake of takin my own life
truth is in those situations you
Don't really cares if its right
Then just when the deed was to be done
Somebody opened the door
And my mind went back to the prayer I had
Prayed before
The thought of him seeing me
bleed to death on the floor
I drop the knife right then and there
For my Life my Little
Brother had just spared

My brother will probably never know that he kept me from making the biggest mistake and He wil never know trully undertsand what he could have seen. But this is my testimony.

But God!

I pray your continued strength, faith and hope in the Lord, Sister.
 

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