Black Poetry : After You Left

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Heartfelt, Sep 23, 2003.

  1. Heartfelt

    Heartfelt Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2003
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    2
    Occupation:
    Livin' and lovin' and doin' my thang
    Location:
    Nunya Bidness, New York
    Ratings:
    +2
    Before we parted ways last night
    You managed to sneak in those sweet words after our fight
    "Love you" were the words that came out of your mouth
    Just the simple typing of those words broke down my whole house

    Tears streamed down my face like there was no end
    It reminded me of how it felt to be in love again
    I sorely miss the way I used to talk to you all day
    When I was sad and crying you would make sure I was okay

    I miss the nights we would spend talking about our future
    But what you said yesterday "If I wasn't about ball or school work, then I wasn't important", and that really hurt
    I never thought that someone I love with my whole heart
    Could care less and break it apart

    I slumped to my knees
    Water swelled behind my eyes
    I prayed to God "Please...
    Take this pain out of my life"

    I couldn't take what I had been dealing with
    So I went to bed because my heart had been on restrict
    I couldn't reveal the feelings and thoughts I held inside
    And I felt that my life would have to abide
    To the already ensuing emotional deterioration
    And when you said you loved me past thoughts had become an inflation

    After you left I cried like a baby
    And my throat burned with the "what ifs" and the "maybes"
    I started to wish that you never changed
    Hoping that what you felt for me would remain the same

    Change is good if you're bettering yourself
    But you don't have to dismiss everybody else
    --just to reach your apex on the pyramid
    Give it a chance and you'll find someone will live
    --up to your expectations
    But please don't cast out a whole nation

    I love you more than anything in this world
    So I'm asking you in this poem, "Will you be my girl?"
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    wow!.........she must feel the depth of ya hand in this
    written flow here ......let it all be heard
     
  3. Heartfelt

    Heartfelt Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2003
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    2
    Occupation:
    Livin' and lovin' and doin' my thang
    Location:
    Nunya Bidness, New York
    Ratings:
    +2
    Thank you so much $$RICH$$. Your words are appreciated.
     
  4. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Messages:
    4,912
    Likes Received:
    613
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    (RF) Technician
    Location:
    ( Alonewolf ) California.. by way of the LOU
    Ratings:
    +795
    " I never thought that someone I love with my whole heart
    Could care less and break it apart
    Change is good if you're bettering yourself
    But you don't have to dismiss everybody else "

    So True ...Heartfelt
     
  5. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 30, 2003
    Messages:
    5,322
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    ~The hidden library...~
    Ratings:
    +39
    this was deeply emotive...
    love the way you molded this portrait
    depicting the struggles of love...
     
  6. Heartfelt

    Heartfelt Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2003
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    2
    Occupation:
    Livin' and lovin' and doin' my thang
    Location:
    Nunya Bidness, New York
    Ratings:
    +2
    Thank you HODEE and angelicsage for your kind responses.
     
  7. true love

    true love Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2003
    Messages:
    1,115
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Fayetteville, NC
    Ratings:
    +4
    this moved me deeply...and i feel you pain...what a beautiful expression of love...much love for this.
     
  8. Heartfelt

    Heartfelt Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2003
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    2
    Occupation:
    Livin' and lovin' and doin' my thang
    Location:
    Nunya Bidness, New York
    Ratings:
    +2
    Thanks true love
     
  9. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,752
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Educational/Human Resources field
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Ratings:
    +28
    wow....this was deep
     
  10. Heartfelt

    Heartfelt Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 10, 2003
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    2
    Occupation:
    Livin' and lovin' and doin' my thang
    Location:
    Nunya Bidness, New York
    Ratings:
    +2
    Thank you SwtT
     
Loading...