Black Women : After Having A Baby ...

[Destee]

Gosh ... i remember this thread and situation ... and over the years it's only gotten worse, seeing more and more young Mothers doing things that they might not know they should not be doing. Oftentimes, if we don't have someone to guide us in this way, we won't know what to do. I'm so grateful for my Mother, but everyone doesn't have the kind of Mother that i did. Fortunately though, we have destee.com ... ... where if a young Mother stumbles upon us ... reads some of what is shared here ... they may be able to incorporate the pieces that work for them.

Just recently i visited with another young Sister, first time Mother, and her newborn. She had brought the baby over to visit, she was about 4 or 5 months old, and it was cold outside. The Mother had her all bundled up nicely, protecting her from the cold, and after getting her all unwrapped from outer clothing, blankets, etc. ... i saw that the baby didn't have on an undershirt !!!

The Momma had done a great job at bundling her up outerwear wise, but there was no undershirt! It took all i had in me to stay calm and not fuss. I gently mentioned that you want to ALWAYS have an undershirt on the baby, for it helps to keep her warmth inside, close to her body.

As we talked, i could tell that the young Mother was getting all kind of advice from her own parents, plus all the other grandparents, and she was overwhelmed by it all. Everyone telling her what she should be doing for her baby, when she has some ideas of her own ... and afterall ... it is her baby. She kinda expressed this, so i backed down considerably, not letting loose like i would have if it had been my own grandchild ... not wanting to put anymore on her, when she's getting so much advice from her own Family and such.

But let me tell the young Mothers right now ... keep an undershirt on the baby ... it hugs their body and helps keep their warmth inside.

Okay ... i'm done ....

Loving Us!



Destee

 

[candeesweet]

Gosh ... i remember this thread and situation ... and over the years it's only gotten worse, seeing more and more young Mothers doing things that they might not know they should not be doing. Oftentimes, if we don't have someone to guide us in this way, we won't know what to do. I'm so grateful for my Mother, but everyone doesn't have the kind of Mother that i did. Fortunately though, we have destee.com ... ... where if a young Mother stumbles upon us ... reads some of what is shared here ... they may be able to incorporate the pieces that work for them.

Just recently i visited with another young Sister, first time Mother, and her newborn. She had brought the baby over to visit, she was about 4 or 5 months old, and it was cold outside. The Mother had her all bundled up nicely, protecting her from the cold, and after getting her all unwrapped from outer clothing, blankets, etc. ... i saw that the baby didn't have on an undershirt !!!

The Momma had done a great job at bundling her up outerwear wise, but there was no undershirt! It took all i had in me to stay calm and not fuss. I gently mentioned that you want to ALWAYS have an undershirt on the baby, for it helps to keep her warmth inside, close to her body.

As we talked, i could tell that the young Mother was getting all kind of advice from her own parents, plus all the other grandparents, and she was overwhelmed by it all. Everyone telling her what she should be doing for her baby, when she has some ideas of her own ... and afterall ... it is her baby. She kinda expressed this, so i backed down considerably, not letting loose like i would have if it had been my own grandchild ... not wanting to put anymore on her, when she's getting so much advice from her own Family and such.

But let me tell the young Mothers right now ... keep an undershirt on the baby ... it hugs their body and helps keep their warmth inside.

Okay ... i'm done ....

Loving Us!



Destee

See that's the difference, back in our day of childbearing (80's or 90's) our elders would tell us in a certain tone that said "like it or not" this is what you do because I know and said so. These days we feel all sorry or unconcious when it comes to us connecting with them in our taught way. Which I guess leads to us not passing down our teachings correctly like we the elders now with the wisdom.
My niece had on no undershirt and the outfit was buttoned on the silde so her skin was peaking out. It is cold outside. Some things have to be "gotten" by the mother first. Almost like a person on drugs, they ain't gon quit for us but they have to quit for themselves.
Oh well Destee as long as we do our duty of passing on advice, they will take it when needed. This is why we have to stay positive. Once entered into that hard skull, it won't leave. Love can't escape just sit and grow.

 

[Angela22]

Gosh ... i remember this thread and situation ... and over the years it's only gotten worse, seeing more and more young Mothers doing things that they might not know they should not be doing. Oftentimes, if we don't have someone to guide us in this way, we won't know what to do. I'm so grateful for my Mother, but everyone doesn't have the kind of Mother that i did. Fortunately though, we have destee.com ... ... where if a young Mother stumbles upon us ... reads some of what is shared here ... they may be able to incorporate the pieces that work for them.

Just recently i visited with another young Sister, first time Mother, and her newborn. She had brought the baby over to visit, she was about 4 or 5 months old, and it was cold outside. The Mother had her all bundled up nicely, protecting her from the cold, and after getting her all unwrapped from outer clothing, blankets, etc. ... i saw that the baby didn't have on an undershirt !!!

The Momma had done a great job at bundling her up outerwear wise, but there was no undershirt! It took all i had in me to stay calm and not fuss. I gently mentioned that you want to ALWAYS have an undershirt on the baby, for it helps to keep her warmth inside, close to her body.

As we talked, i could tell that the young Mother was getting all kind of advice from her own parents, plus all the other grandparents, and she was overwhelmed by it all. Everyone telling her what she should be doing for her baby, when she has some ideas of her own ... and afterall ... it is her baby. She kinda expressed this, so i backed down considerably, not letting loose like i would have if it had been my own grandchild ... not wanting to put anymore on her, when she's getting so much advice from her own Family and such.

But let me tell the young Mothers right now ... keep an undershirt on the baby ... it hugs their body and helps keep their warmth inside.

Okay ... i'm done ....

Loving Us!



Destee

Again, great advice.

But how do you not put an undershirt on a baby? I thought that was as natural as knowing to put a diaper on a baby! Ya don't put pants on a baby without one.

I guess all new and young mothers have something they don't know to do.

 

[NyneElementz]

Hello Family,

A young Sister that i know just had a baby and she brought her over for me to see today. The baby is simply a living doll! Such a sweet sweet baby, she almost had to tear her out of my arms!

Anyway ... she just had the baby ... a few days ago!

As i sat and visited with her, i remembered back to the births of my children, and thought on how my Mother insisted that i stay inside, with the baby, for a certain amount of time ... a very prolonged time it seemed ... before going out.

It seemed to be a health precaution for both the baby and myself, as though we were both more vulnerable immediately after the birth.

This young Sister was leaving here, going to her Sister's office, so that everyone there could see the baby too. I kinda fussed a little, in a very gentle way, telling her not to let folk breathe and kiss all over the baby.

Do women still do this, or was it just my Momma that felt this way?



Destee

Clearly i am no woman, but that protective instinct is natural. I was a lot worse. When my son was born, if it was not his mom, they needed my permission to come near him. No one was allowed to be near him, period.