Black Relationships : Advice plz: He wants to "MARRY" me!!

Jaisolovely

Well-Known Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jun 19, 2007
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Beyond my own understanding
It's not hard for me to imagine myself getting married some day but now at the age of twenty......:SuN018:

Fears enter my mind because we both are so young. My current boyfriend and I have known each other for about 3-4 mths and have only been dating for close to 3 weeks(thats already a no no obviously)both have made claims to one another just how much we love one another. I am twenty and he is twenty-two. Recently, we have had a big and ugly argument and I was ready to call it quits. This man was down to tears and not giving up, calling me and begging me to work it out. He was even willing to make sacrifices for me so that it would work. I love him but I dont know if Im ready for such a committment in such a short time. He is in the Navy and doesnt know when he will be shipped off on a ship (awwww ..:bawling:)but he is persistent in asking me to move to base with him and get married. I am afraid to discuss this decision with my parents. For one I havent thought it all out with him and two I dont want to jump into with an open heart but my eyes closed. I had told him to wait and that we should get counseling first. I had decided to share this with you all because I admire you all here at Destee, so please share your opinions.
 
Jaisolovely said:
He was even willing to make sacrifices for me so that it would work

Jaisolovely said:
I had told him to wait and that we should get counseling first.

There seems to be some urgency (could be a fear of losing you) that is dominating his emotions and his thinking and in the midst of all of that he has become blinded to the fact that this is a very big move for you as well.

If he IS willing to make sacrifices he should be willing to take the necessary steps with you that may prove to strengthen what you already have.
 
drop him like he's hot........he is

leave this cat alone. he is not mature. if he is going to be on a ship where will that leave you? up the creek? is he thinking about you or what he wants? he just wants to tie you down so he will feel secure. if he truly loved you, he would want the best for you. he would be thinking of you before himself.

true love is selfless, not possessive.

let nothing distract you from finishing your education.

talk to your parents. they have got you thus far, what makes you think their counsel is invalid now?
why do you turn to strangers on the internet before you would talk to your own? are your folks that bad? i hope not.

stay in school. get your mind in a book and off of the opposite sex. leave the boys alone. get an education.
find some counseling at school. education comes first. we have more than enough uneducated negroes.
 
Jaisolovely said:
It's not hard for me to imagine myself getting married some day but now at the age of twenty......:SuN018:

Fears enter my mind because we both are so young. My current boyfriend and I have known each other for about 3-4 mths and have only been dating for close to 3 weeks(thats already a no no obviously)both have made claims to one another just how much we love one another. I am twenty and he is twenty-two. Recently, we have had a big and ugly argument and I was ready to call it quits. This man was down to tears and not giving up, calling me and begging me to work it out. He was even willing to make sacrifices for me so that it would work. I love him but I dont know if Im ready for such a committment in such a short time. He is in the Navy and doesnt know when he will be shipped off on a ship (awwww ..:bawling:)but he is persistent in asking me to move to base with him and get married. I am afraid to discuss this decision with my parents. For one I havent thought it all out with him and two I dont want to jump into with an open heart but my eyes closed. I had told him to wait and that we should get counseling first. I had decided to share this with you all because I admire you all here at Destee, so please share your opinions.

Sister Jaisolovely ... Peace and Blessings ... :love:

There are certainly folk who have only known each other for a short time, married, and lived happily ever after ... but they are very few and far between i'd imagine. There was a time in the past, when there were more stories like this, but not these days.

In addition, i think it takes time to really know someone. A person can be whatever they want you to think they are, for 3, 4, 5, or even 6 months. So, in my opinion, not enough time has passed for you to turn your whole life around for a man you hardly know.

It's nice to be in love, having someone who cares about you ... just enjoy that for awhile. If it lasts, it'll be there after you get out of school, and then you can pursue other commitments, like marriage and stuff.

Have Fun and Enjoy!

Be Careful ... and don't be have'n no unsafe sex !!! :wink:

:heart:

Destee
 

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