Black Relationships : Advice Needed

DreamGyrl360

Active Member
REGISTERED MEMBER
Jan 6, 2003
32
1
Okay.

I have a delimma.
I have a friend. Let's call her A. A is Married to B.
I have another friend. Let's call her C.

I have known A since I was in second grade. A is pretty and dark skinned.
I have known C a few years. C is pretty and light skinned.

They are some of my best friends.

Okay -- so. B has a thing for light skinned women. He told A that before they got married. He also told her that they probably shouldn't get married because of that. But then again, he didn't want nobody else to have her, right?
So he married her.
Then they met C at my house. A caught B staring at C's behind. They had an argument and he said it would never happen again.

Due to a business deal that happened between them as a couple and C (who is her own business), they all contact each other via email and telephone.

B started sending C inappropriate emails -- not really flirting or saying "I wanna lay with you" or whatever. But just telling her too much about he and A's relationship. C told me; I told her to tell him she wasn't comfortable with that. He got scared and stopped emailing.
I called A and told her. Lucky for HIM, he'd told her just before I did.

Now, because we were out at a function together this past weekend, the inappropriate emails have begun again.
He wants to know why she didn't speak to him at the function. He tells her that was a nice blouse she had on (she has large bosooms). She doesn't reply, but she tells me.

My problem is this -- I feel VERY torn. C tells me all of this! Am I supposed to keep it from A this time? Since it did NOTHING the first time (She said real cocky like "I know about it. He just told me." I said "...And you're okay with this?" She said "...No..." but you know, they still together so nothing came of it)?

Should I keep my mouth shut? I love them both but if push comes to shove A will stomp a mud hole in C.
I don't want that. I don't feel that this is 100% C's fault. She's young, low self esteem, she likes the attention. I BELIEVE (I don't KNOW) she won't sleep with him or something.

Help me out. What should I, as a friend to either or both girls do?

Appreciate your honest opinion...
 
Friend A isn't very bright! You said C was "young, low self esteem, she likes the attention." But A probably has some major insecurity issues also, If a man tells you shouldn't get married, you defiantly shouldn't get married to them. You also said she had an attitude when you let her know the first time, she probably has a hint at whats going on, just doesn't want to admit it to yourself. I know it's probably hard for you, cause your friends have put awkwardly in the middle, but sit her down tell her again, if you guys have been friends for so long, in the end she'll love you for. I wouldn't suggest throwing any advise at her lol like leave him, just let her know whats going on and let her make her own decisions, she's the one that has to live with them. I just think by telling her you would take a lot of the stress off yourself.
 
jamesfrmphilly said:
why don't she block the emails and keep steppin? or forward them to A?:em0200:
Because, James, no matter how she's not into him, she likes the attention.
She's got a man herself, but he's not giving her any attention. He constantly cheats on her and disappears for days at a time. They have a young child together and she gets lonely... so when B emails her, she keeps reading them.
 
BallOfConfusion said:
Friend A isn't very bright! You said C was "young, low self esteem, she likes the attention." But A probably has some major insecurity issues also, If a man tells you shouldn't get married, you defiantly shouldn't get married to them. You also said she had an attitude when you let her know the first time, she probably has a hint at whats going on, just doesn't want to admit it to yourself. I know it's probably hard for you, cause your friends have put awkwardly in the middle, but sit her down tell her again, if you guys have been friends for so long, in the end she'll love you for. I wouldn't suggest throwing any advise at her lol like leave him, just let her know whats going on and let her make her own decisions, she's the one that has to live with them. I just think by telling her you would take a lot of the stress off yourself.

A DOES have some insecurity issues. And, my lovely sweet friend is also not too bright(I love her but truth is truth).
She wanted to get married because MOST of us are married now. A is 28; C is 22. So A sees everyone she knows hooking up and settling down. She's wanted it for very long and has tried to settle down with the last 4 or 5 guys (after about 2 or 3 months with each of them... she wanted this fairytale thing and it wasn't happening). He told her he didn't find dark skin attractive and that he preferred mixed-looking girls. She sometimes feels very unattractive -- specially when he's running out to strip clubs or looking at certain porn online.

But she got so irritated when I told her. So I'm like, I don't want her to be mad at ME, the messenger.
I would never tell her to leave him. But I hate it that she does not know.
I called my mother last night and she told me to stay out of it because I don't know him like that; B could kill me, and here I am most of the time alone with my kids, and pregnant to boot.

So I don't know... I still listen to my mother, but I'm still torn as well.

Thanks for listening.
 

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