Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

You and I have different world views. I understand this and am perfectly ok with it. In my world view, "stepping up" means that the man does not conceive a child with a woman that he has not made a lifetime commitment to and he does not change that commitment when it becomes convienient or he "just doesn't want to be with the woman anymore".

My view of responsibility is simple. It takes a man AND a woman to conceive a child, it also takes that same man and woman to provide the optimum environment and nurturing for the life of that child. Creating a child outside of that mindset is irresponsible.

You may think that idealogy is too simplistic for this "complicated" world, but I submit that things only get complicated when idealogies are convoluted.

My world view works for me. One man and one woman, join together under God until death do they part. I understand that every man does not subscribe to this ideology. Therein lies the problem.

Now we agree. We do have different world views. I am not sure what your world view is based upon. But, mine is based on practically what works and what is natural. Monogamy is UNNATURAL. It is a recent construct by a religious few. I am not with my ex-wife. She is remarried and I am about to be. Our children are thriving, healthy, and will be productive. To say only biological parents should be responsible for children negates 90% of the people in a childs life. So, again we agree...we have different world views that each work for us. The question is, what will work best and most practically for our communities.

Peace and love
 
Now we agree. We do have different world views. I am not sure what your world view is based upon. But, mine is based on practically what works and what is natural. Monogamy is UNNATURAL. It is a recent construct by a religious few. I am not with my ex-wife. She is remarried and I am about to be. Our children are thriving, healthy, and will be productive. To say only biological parents should be responsible for children negates 90% of the people in a childs life. So, again we agree...we have different world views that each work for us. The question is, what will work best and most practically for our communities.

Peace and love

I wish you and yours the best. I pray your children will continue to be healthy and thrive. Unfortunately, as evidenced by the condition of our communities, the model that you consider as "practical" and "natural" simply does not work. It is interesting that you consider Monogamy as unnatural. So, in your opinion, the hurt and scars that inevitably occur as a result of infidelity is NATURAL. Now, that is twisted. It is your right to believe as you choose, and it is not my job to convince you otherwise, but there is nothing natural about breaking your commitment, emotionally damaging the mother of your children, conducting yourself in a manner that will isolate you from the children you conceive, or producing children who do not live under the same roof as you until they have been nurtured enough to provide for themselves.

Saying that the biological parents should be responsible for their children does nothing to negate 90% of the people in a childs life. My children are very close to their grand parents, they have interactions and relationships with many other adults and children, but when it comes to providing for their physical, spiritual, emotional, educational, and other needs it is my wife and I who guides, directs, and control these things. We assume 100% responsiblity to what our children are exposed to and participate in. We are the filter for their lives. THERE IS NO ONE IN THE WORLD WHO HOLD A MORE DIRECT INTEREST AND ARE MORE CONCERNED FOR THE WELL BEING OF THE CHILDREN WE HAVE PRODUCED. This is in there very best interest and what NATURALLY should be provided to them.
 
But, mine is based on practically what works and what is natural. Monogamy is UNNATURAL.

The question is, what will work best and most practically for our communities.

Peace and love


I submit that your model is not based upon what "works" but upon what is the "consequence" of departing from what is RIGHT.

The statistics on fatherless homes clearly indicate that fatherlessness typically does not "work". 85% of all prison inmates are from fatherless homes, this is a "consequence", this is not what "works".

They say "stuff happens". Your model is the "stuff" that "happens", it is not what should happen if fathers did RIGHT.

It is clear that if men truely did "step up", maintained their commitments to their wives, did not participate in concieving children with women they had not made a lifetime commitment to, and accepted full responsiblity for the lives they concieve THIS would work best and most practical for our community. The further we get from this model, the worse the "consequence" will be upon our community. There is no senario that allows the current rate of fatherlessness within our community to "work best and most practically for our communities."
 
I see no reason for us to continue this conversation. Now that I have noticed that you live in Detroit yet you still deny the problem and want to sweep it under the rug, AND you have continually to this very moment refused to directly answer the question which will demonstrate the agenda of your on data, it is clear that it is an absolute waste of time talking to you.

I am walking away, shaking my head....wondering what hope do we have if the men who are making these babies have the same ideology as you, "more to do with the females having these multiple oow births", what hope do we have for ever recovering from the problems we find ourselves in. SO, our men can have all of the fun, but bear none of the responsiblity???!!!??? You continue in denial, blaming our women who are there and letting the men who are not there off the hook.



This is what you said





:em0200:
 

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