Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

Kemetstry

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Queenie

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you think that the reason women have babies by irresponsible men is because they want control? Control of what and how is that working for them? It isn't. Yet they still assume, they can nuture the loser out of their kid
This isn't making sense to me: "Nurture the loser out of their kid" as an example that women want control over a bad situation that they knew was bad from jump?


Why do you think that a rocket scientist would be any better of a sexual partner than the average man--because he has letters behind his name that means he's more educated? A rocket scientist would give them a better, smarter kid at least.
While it may be true in some cases, I don't think we should assume that irresponsibility is a trait found in people's gene pool. Irresponsible men can be highly intelligent, but using it differently by making different choices.

Let's understand, I don't think they are looking for a better sexual partner
I think we should also understand how the laws of attraction work. Some irresponsible men display the persona of an alpha male and many women find that attractive. Sometimes it's the first impression, the scent of a man that draws some women's attention much quicker than an intellectual conversation.


Is there any room in this discussion for consideration of Black people's emotional and mental health while living under the constant weight of oppression or do you want to lump all Black women who have babies with no father in the home in the same category? Because prior to the 70s we didn't do this
I'm not sure I agree that this wasn't happening in the 70s and prior to. Pregnancy outside of marriage and the idea of the proverbial virgin until marriage, at that time, established different customs for handling women who were unwed mothers. A stronger Christian influence was in place at that time so, having "illegitimate babies" was more secretive and shameful and I'm sure you know this. Doesn't mean sex outside of marriage wasn't happening and babies weren't being born because of it. It was more hidden back then. For mostly white women, they went to homes for unwed mothers which were typically run by Catholic nuns or another Christian organization. Black women were sent to live with a cousin or Auntie who lived far away--to quietly have their babies.


I don't doubt that you and others participating in this thread have seen Black men and Black women who fit your description, but what percentage of the total Black population do you think they represent? Do you think that their number has the potential of tearing down the entire Black race? I believe that your data wants everyone to believe that, but what do you think? The data says 70% of females fit the category. ( Which is why this is a female issue ) I really find that 70% figure to be extremely disturbing and a reminder that Black women are never judged equitably by a predominantly white society. You and I both know that the true stories about Black people's successes are seldom told and often hidden and buried. Time and time again, we see this when the stories finally surface, i.e., Hidden Figures. We need to stop s-l-u-t shaming Black women, oftentimes causing them to believe and sometimes live out the lie that people who dislike them author. Let's promote good mental and emotional health for each other starting with genuine displays of compassion and maybe you will start to see and understand things more clearly.

From what I've read based on many of your comments, you are a Christian, but, correct me if I'm wrong. But, if you are, what role do you think Christianity has in terms of a solution to this dilemma that you imply is a Black issue? How well do you think the Church is dealing with this issue, by words and deeds? This is the great falling away

Well, I can't speak to the Church and it's people but I will say that there may be a need for the Church to take an honest look at what it is promoting and how its congregations are living their lives out in public; not when praising their Lord while sitting on a church pew every Sunday.
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ogoun

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Jun 14, 2018
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Fred had been murdered, Stokely was in exile and Huey and Bobby were fighting federal raps in the kangaroo courts as was Angelia.
The vaulted integration of the schools gave us the likes of the aunt jemima Harris's and the uncle Thomas's. The vaulted integration of the schools system was the beginning, no the continued war on the tearing apart of our communities.......integrate and hold our (white) values or else. The 70's are when the vaulted integrated school system started making our young men and women criminals before they even had a chance to get through high school.
So before laying it on blaxploitation films and just a lazy falling off, maybe a deeper dive may be in order, ya think Kem?
 

jamesfrmphilly

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Fred had been murdered, Stokely was in exile and Huey and Bobby were fighting federal raps in the kangaroo courts as was Angelia.
The vaulted integration of the schools gave us the likes of the aunt jemima Harris's and the uncle Thomas's. The vaulted integration of the schools system was the beginning, no the continued war on the tearing apart of our communities.......integrate and hold our (white) values or else. The 70's are when the vaulted integrated school system started making our young men and women criminals before they even had a chance to get through high school.
So before laying it on blaxploitation films and just a lazy falling off, maybe a deeper dive may be in order, ya think Kem?
a deeper dive can be quite scary.......
 

Kemetstry

going above and beyond
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Feb 19, 2001
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Ayou think that the reason women have babies by irresponsible men is because they want control? Control of what and how is that working for them? It isn't. Yet they still assume, they can nuture the loser out of their kid
This isn't making sense to me: "Nurture the loser out of their kid" as an example that women want control over a bad situation that they knew was bad from jump? Yes. I don't want the guy around. Which is why I pick Mookie in the 1st place. Because I have the cash and intellect to make MY kid better than their loser father


Why do you think that a rocket scientist would be any better of a sexual partner than the average man--because he has letters behind his name that means he's more educated? A rocket scientist would give them a better, smarter kid at least.
While it may be true in some cases, I don't think we should assume that irresponsibility is a trait found in people's gene pool. Irresponsible men can be highly intelligent, but using it differently by making different choices. Agreed. But many who do this don't see it that way. The fastest growing group doing this is millennials

Let's understand, I don't think they are looking for a better sexual partner
I think we should also understand how the laws of attraction work. Some irresponsible men display the persona of an alpha male and many women find that attractive. Sometimes it's the first impression, the scent of a man that draws some women's attention much quicker than an intellectual conversation. In that as I said above, they are seeking these guys out deliberately, I don't know


Is there any room in this discussion for consideration of Black people's emotional and mental health while living under the constant weight of oppression or do you want to lump all Black women who have babies with no father in the home in the same category? Because prior to the 70s we didn't do this
I'm not sure I agree that this wasn't happening in the 70s and prior to. Pregnancy outside of marriage and the idea of the proverbial virgin until marriage, at that time, established different customs for handling women who were unwed mothers. A stronger Christian influence was in place at that time so, having "illegitimate babies" was more secretive and shameful and I'm sure you know this. Doesn't mean sex outside of marriage wasn't happening and babies weren't being born because of it. It was more hidden back then. For mostly white women, they went to homes for unwed mothers which were typically run by Catholic nuns or another Christian organization. Black women were sent to live with a cousin or Auntie who lived far away--to quietly have their babies. The census data proves my point. I never sex there wasn't sex. Things were done to keep it DL


I don't doubt that you and others participating in this thread have seen Black men and Black women who fit your description, but what percentage of the total Black population do you think they represent? Do you think that their number has the potential of tearing down the entire Black race? I believe that your data wants everyone to believe that, but what do you think? The data says 70% of females fit the category. ( Which is why this is a female issue ) I really find that 70% figure to be extremely disturbing and a reminder that Black women are never judged equitably by a predominantly white society. You and I both know that the true stories about Black people's successes are seldom told and often hidden and buried. Time and time again, we see this when the stories finally surface, i.e., Hidden Figures. We need to stop s-l-u-t shaming Black women, oftentimes causing them to believe and sometimes live out the lie that people who dislike them author. Let's promote good mental and emotional health for each other starting with genuine displays of compassion and maybe you will start to see and understand things more clearly. Predominately white society are at 60%. This has never been a black and white issue. They were welfare queens loooooong before we even thought about it. And sluts deserve shaming. The worse thing women ever did is giving them and skanks cover. It only validated stupidity

From what I've read based on many of your comments, you are a Christian, but, correct me if I'm wrong. But, if you are, what role do you think Christianity has in terms of a solution to this dilemma that you imply is a Black issue? How well do you think the Church is dealing with this issue, by words and deeds? This is the great falling away

Well, I can't speak to the Church and it's people but I will say that there may be a need for the Church to take an honest look at what it is promoting and how its congregations are living their lives out in public; not when praising their Lord while sitting on a church pew every Sunday.
. Agreed



.
 

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