Dec 18, 2009
Addressing The "Black Men Abandon Their Children" myth.

Needless to say, black men are commonly stereotyped as having a strong propensity to abandon their children. The term "abandon" seems to be a preferred term especially by the black female interracial bloggers as well as the so called "black female empowerment" bloggers. The problem is that evidence disputes this stereotype and shows that the source of the stereotype is more so a case of the failure of black men and black women to form stable relationships. In response to President Obama's criticism of black men's alleged absence from their chidlren's lives, this article cites one study disputing the stereotype:

"A month before Obama made this stereotypical and plainly false assertion, Boston University professor Rebekah Levine Coley, in a comprehensive study on the black family, found that black fathers who aren’t in the home are much more likely to sustain regular contact with their children than absentee white fathers, or for that matter, fathers of any other ethnic group. The study is not an obscure study buried in the thick pages of a musty academic journal. It was widely cited in a feature article on Black fathers in the May 19, 2008 issue of Newsweek. There was no excuse then to spout this myth. The facts are totally contrary to Obama’s knock."
Of course, those bloggers insistent on degrading black men will, and and have scoffed at this study citing only their own observations as well as the infamous 70% out-of-wedlock birth rate for African Americans. Basically, to them, every single black child born out-of-wedlock has been abandoned by his or her father. Of course, this would mean that no black couples marry after they have children. This would mean that no unmarried black couples with children cohabitate. This would mean that no black men unmarried to their children's mothers are active fathers.

These bloggers will insist that this statistic as well as their alleged observations of so many little black children who do not know their fathers is proof that black men run away from their responsibilities as fathers. But the reality is that it is not the children that black men run from, it is the mothers of these children that they run from and their absence from their children's lives is a bi-product of not being in the mother's lives and this bi-product is just as prevalent in the lives of non-black men under the same circumstances. Lets look at some research:

"Only a small percentage of nonresident fathers continue to see their child(ren) after a five-year period following divorce (Blankenhorn, 1995; Stewart). This decreased involvement in their child(ren)'s lives by divorced fathers may be the result of constraints experienced by fathers following divorce. Cohen (1998) found that nonresident fathers' involvement in their child(ren)'s lives is subject to an array of constraints, resulting in decreased participation. He reported that "the role of fathering must be squeezed into short meetings under strained and artificial circumstances" (p. 200). If a father chooses to avoid these situations by not seeing his child(ren), the father likely forfeits leisure time with the child(ren)"
As we see, this research keys on men in general and concludes that of all men in general, a small percentage continue to see their children five years after divorce. Clearly, this is not a black male phenomenon. Lets look at more:

"Their findings support differences in fathering activities when controlling for
income, age, education and socioeconomic conditions of wives or co-habitators.
They found that African American fathers are ‘far more likely to monitor and supervise their children’s activities’ (p. 92) and suggest that these men are more strict, cautionary, and authoritarian than European American parents."
And more excerpts from the same website:

"Housaain et al. (1997) found that African American fathers spent more time providing physical care, feeding, and soothing of their infants than European American fathers."
"Comparison of adjusted income means indicate that African-
American fathers reporting more frequently participating in caregiving activities than Latino and European American fathers. In addition, African American
fathers also reported participating in more cognitive activities with their child
than European American and Latino fathers reported. African American and
Latino fathers reported signifi cantly more social skills activities with the focus
child than did European American fathers."
"Race or ethnic differences in reported fathering activities were examined.
As stated earlier, a number of studies have focused on absent fathers in minority
communities and have supported the idea that minority, particularly African
American fathers are not as involved with their children as European American
fathers (Carter, 2001; Hamer, 1997; Lindholm, 1997; Mincy, 2002). The current
study found differences in reported caregiving activities across race and
ethnicity. Toth and Xu (1999) found that African Americans fathers were more likely to supervise and monitor their children’s activities. The findings of this study supports this in that African American fathers reported participating in significantly more hands-on caregiving activities than either Latino or European American fathers. This finding is important because prior studies failed to examine some of the caregiving activities that were included in the measure used in the current study. As a result, African American fathers may be involved in different ways than had been previously reported in that they may participate in more traditional maternal activities. This present study supports the findings of Toth and Xu (1999) that the ‘stereotype of irresponsible and nonsupportive African American fathers is inaccurate and should be rejected’ (p. 92)"
"Both African American and Latino fathers reported higher levels of
participating in social activities than European American fathers. Social activities
are an important concept in early infant development (Parke et al., 2002). This
supports the idea that African American and Latino fathers may participate more in socializing their children especially in such activities as taking their child to
visit extended family and friends. Toth and Xu (1999) found that Latino fathers
reported participating in more activities such as spending time in leisure activities
such as picnics, movies, sports, etc. They report that in contrast to European
American families, African American and Latino fathers ‘tend to reinforce the
norms of family closeness … and monitor and supervise their children more’
(p. 92)."

"It should be noted that there may be an issue with sampling bias within the
sample of African American fathers. Although mothers indicated a father’s
presence in the child’s life, there was some diffi culty in interviewing African
American fathers. One reason for this might be that a higher percentage of these
men were not married or residing with the mother of the child. Researchers
in the current study found it easier to contact and interview fathers who were
residential fathers. As a result, given the higher percentage of African American
fathers not residing with the child, our African American fathers might be slightly
different than the European American and Latino fathers."

"Despite these limitations it is clear that minority fathers are involved with their
children although not always in recognized ways."

So basically, when fathers of similar income who don't reside with their children are compared, African American fathers are more involved with their children. Surprising? I'm sure that this will surprise many based on the media and sell-out driven stereotyping of black men. Many black women will not give credence to these studies because they don't want to accept that their failures to win the hearts of men have a direct impact on their children. Black children reside in single parent households at just under three times the rate of white children and it is this fact, not some imaginary desire of black men to abandon their children, that drives the absent father phenomenon in the black community.

DHS plays surrogate father thus putting an attitude in black females that dads are not important+ we often screw w/o even knowing each other. I don't think many women or men plan on or care if they have a child. Y even worry about the responsibilities of a man if food and house will be provided by the gov as a m.o.f., this gives women incentives to be single moms.


going above and beyond
Feb 19, 2001
DHS plays surrogate father thus putting an attitude in black females that dads are not important+ we often screw w/o even knowing each other. I don't think many women or men plan on or care if they have a child. Y even worry about the responsibilities of a man if food and house will be provided by the gov as a m.o.f., this gives women incentives to be single moms.

That's fine in the beginning. Then the kid starts going wild. Especially around puberty. Then mom typically wonders why suddenly she cant handle the kid. Raising children has always been a tag team event. When they're in prison, it's too late


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Well-Known Member
Feb 27, 2007
It's interesting how no one else has seen fit to comment on this positive thread about brothers.

I guess it's easier to ignore and hate





You know, some times I wonder why even bother. I am afraid to say too much on the subject for fear of offending and getting bogged down in useless debate. But, it has long been clear to me that African men have received a raw deal in the popular media on our roles in raising children. There is and has always been many men who are great fathers and often single fathers. But, nobody notices or appreciates the fact. So, we have to suffer in silence while taking an ujust beating and constant disresepct from our own communities.

Thanks for finally saying something positive about our fathers.


Well-Known Member
Feb 27, 2007
I am really amazed at this flip of the script. It seems the agenda here is to defend the image of the Black man but you do so by throwing the Black woman under the bus?!?! It is THEIR FAILURE to win the hearts of men??????????

So, as I look around my neighborhood, the reality that I see is just a figment of my imagination, right??? you would really have to deny the obvious to buy into this idea that it is the failure of Black women to win the hearts of Black men that create fatherless homes.

I don't know, nor do I care about comparative statistics between Black fatherlessness as compared to that of other races, but I do know we absolutely have a serious problem with fatherlessness in the Black community.

I firmly believe that every child has the God given right to be raised by and under the same roof of the biological mother and father who conceived them. I also believe that when a man denies a child that right by failing to provide that roof and that lifetime of support/guidance he is responsible, it is his failure. If the woman is still with the children and the man is gone, it would be an incredible set of circumstances that would place the responsibility for this denial of rights upon the woman.
Nobody is throwing African women "under the bus". You should have been riding the bus with me this morning. EVERY ONE of the African women on that bus was extremely fat and half-naked. At the back was this one lady talking on the cell phone about her epiosdes last night. She was so loud that nobody could do anything except her bragging about her interlobe with some poor brother. When I chnagres buses, she was also on the next bus. Still loud mouthing about nothing. On the walk to the third bus, she was making all akinds of silly noise in the open air. On the third bus, she made at least three phone calls about stupid stuff. Finally, she engaged the other at ladies on te third bus yto tell her little tale.

Now, add that up with what happens almost every day in various public places. THEN, come back and tell me that it is all the brother's fault. I was talking to an Asian friend a few das ago aout the exact same issue. Do not think that nobody is aware of the reality of this matter. EVERYBODY knows. He asked me why I am not married. Of course, I was embarrased. Then he said that there are so many single African women. So, my question is and was: if that is so, why don't Asian guys marry them? If Asians do not want fat, ugly, half naked loud mouth women who have six different baby-daddies and fifteen boyfriends on the side; cooks bacon for breakfast, drinks whiskey for lunch, and smokes dope for dinner, why should I want one?


Well-Known Member
Feb 27, 2007
In my reality, I can.

Black on black crime "Myth" ?????!!!!??!?! You have GOT to be KIDDING ME!!!

Have you spent any time in an ER in....say.....New Orleans, Houston, NY, LA, Chicago, Atlanta, Memphis, Birmingham etc. etc. etc

Have you talked to any medical professionals who work in an ER???

I am interested in protecting the image of the Black man in one change the reality that I see EVERY DAY! I am not interested in sweeping NOTHING under the rug.

Medical schools send doctors to "High volume" ER's such as New Orleans where they can see two to three Gun Shot Wounds (GSW) each DAY. We mostly hear about the fatalities, but black on black crime includes the THOUSANDS of shootings that do not result in fatalities.
Did it ever occur to you that behind every dysfunctinal African male is at least one dysfunctional African female: his mama?

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