Black Relationships : ADDRESSING THE MYTH OF FATHERLESS HOMES

Full Speed

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Sep 7, 2009
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Men dont get pregnant, last I checked.
Women have to learn, usually at the school of hard knocks and after it is too late, that "males" who think like you are out there preying upon them and who will leave them when "they" get themselves pregnant.

Even the racist media in this area doesnt place it that high. Go get some real data. Geez
Maybe not, I don't know, but the federal agency responsible for collecting such statistics do. Rather it is 78% or 68% it is still disproportionately high and will not get any better because of males who think like you. Males who cooperate to concieve a child then bail, thereby, perpetuating the cycle of fatherlessness and girls who are left to learn by the school of hard knocks rather than learning from a loving and nurturing father.

Didnt you say you wouldnt be posting in here again?

No, I didn't say I would not post in this thread again. I said I was done with you. I am. I am no longer posting to you, I am posting to others who have the potential to realize that the problem of fatherlessness will never improve unless males decide to "Man-up" and stop participating in the conception of children who will suffer the proven destructive effects of fatherlessness. You have proven to be beyond logic. The data strongly suggest that many in your city are also beyond logic as well. Detroit clearly has one of the highest OOW rates in the nation, yet in your twisted logic, you think Black men in your area are "standing up". Well, actually, you know better...you can't even directly answer the straight forward question that will clearly demonstrate that they are not standing up, but are cowarding out.
 

Kemetstry

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Women have to learn, usually at the school of hard knocks and after it is too late, that "males" who think like you are out there preying upon them and who will leave them when "they" get themselves pregnant.


Maybe not, I don't know, but the federal agency responsible for collecting such statistics do. Rather it is 78% or 68% it is still disproportionately high and will not get any better because of males who think like you. Males who cooperate to concieve a child then bail, thereby, perpetuating the cycle of fatherlessness and girls who are left to learn by the school of hard knocks rather than learning from a loving and nurturing father.




No, I didn't say I would not post in this thread again. I said I was done with you. I am. I am no longer posting to you, I am posting to others who have the potential to realize that the problem of fatherlessness will never improve unless males decide to "Man-up" and stop participating in the conception of children who will suffer the proven destructive effects of fatherlessness. You have proven to be beyond logic. The data strongly suggest that many in your city are also beyond logic as well. Detroit clearly has one of the highest OOW rates in the nation, yet in your twisted logic, you think Black men in your area are "standing up". Well, actually, you know better...you can't even directly answer the straight forward question that will clearly demonstrate that they are not standing up, but are cowarding out.


Females are told early on about the dangers of giving in to guys, especially the wrong kind of guy. See, you're ASSuming they cant think again. Moreover, they are taught about all the ways NOT to get pregnant. They are taught about guys who prey on females. Thus the phrase, "All men are dogs." I guess in your world, not listening is somehow the man's fault too? Just like Eve didnt listen.

Again, you attempt to change the subject. Stay on point to this thread. Just once. Can you? Inner cities have issues. I can name inner cities with worse stat.s than Detroit. The issue is still the same. You want to blame addiction on the drug dealer. The people that get people off drugs for a living know that is BS! You're still an enabler of the worse kind!

Oh yes, you said it. Go back and read your posts. You wont have to scroll back far. LMAO
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Women have to woman up 1st. Eve didnt, they arent.




:geek:






:em0200:

 
Last edited:

A007

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Feb 16, 2001
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memphis, Tn
Be assured, when I hear or see good news about us I appreciate and embrace it. This information on the Raliegh community joys my heart. In fact, each time I see a Black father with his child or ESPECIALLY a Black father with his WIFE and THEIR children I am thrilled. (I almost feel like the news anchor who had the thrill run up his leg :) )

I did not say there were no Black men doing the right thing concerning their children. I did not even say that there were not a significant number who were not doing the right thing. I said there were far too many that are not doing the right thing. I said it is not a myth that black men are not stepping up.

I am very thankful that you answered my question, that is a very good thing. It is very obvious to me why the other two gentlemen have refused to answer my question. It is because their reality reflects my reality. It is because if they look around them and honestly report what they observe as you did, they will most likely see the numbers I see.

It is wonderful that one section of Memphis has such great results. My guess would be that that area also has a relatively low crime rate as compared to greater Memphis. I would also guess that students perform better in that area than in Memphis City Schools. This only confirms my point....the value of the father in the home AND the fact that the rest of Memphis, which cannot bolster those stats concerning fathers in the home SUFFERS as a direct result of it.

We cannot solve the problem of fatherless homes by pointing to one atypical senario and claiming that proves the problem doesn't exist. Just as you are telling me to look beyond my personal experience, I am telling you to do the same. You know the stats in Raliegh does not reflect those in the Greater Memphis Area. Not even close.

I see examples around me every day of both sides of this issue. I see Black men who step up and I also see Black men who bow out. There was a house burglarized in my neighborhood a few days ago by four young Black boys. (My neighborhood is racially integrated) Two were caught in the act and the two "look outs" got away. Three of the four boys were from fatherless homes. One of the boys that got away was the one whos father lived in the home with him. Upon learning that his child was involved in the burglary, he took his son down to our sheriffs department to answer for his crime.

This child violated teaching and guidance of his father and the father made the tough choice to do the right thing. It will teach the son a lesson. He will probably never so something so stupid again. If he does, it is on the son, not on the father...he has stepped up thoughout this childs life, in this situation, and I am sure he will continue to step up in the futher. I don't even know this guy personally, I just know the character he had to demonstrate by making this hard choice. Yes, Black men do step up....just not in enough numbers.

Agreed...if it is not 90 percent or higher it is not high enough. However, I ask that you no make the situation worse by providing information that is untrue simply because you BELIEVE it to be a certain way based solely on your perception when the facts and figures disagree with you.



For the most part, Black men don't get "put out" without cause. Black men who are stepping up are rarely "put out". Furthermore, Black men who are fulfilling their roll as "provider and protecter" most likely cannot be "put out".

I cannot imagine being "put out". I am the provider and protector. My wife might possibly leave, but I could not be "put out". Futhermore, if she were to leave, it would not be because I failed to fulfill my responsiblility as a husband/man/father.

So, it is difficult for me to relate to that "put out" senario because although I have seen a LOT of men get "put out", I have seen very VERY few get "put out" without just cause. I have also seen women deny fathers the right to see their children and sometimes they use the child as a pawn, but it is usually because of some deep hurt the man has caused the woman. (This does not justify them doing so, but it is what it is.) So, if the man hurts his childs mother in a way that generates this response, the man still is at fault for creating a situation that makes the childs life unstable. A man can't just hurt a woman, breach her trust, then blame her when their childs life becomes unstable or when she detest him so that she want to hurt him any way she knows how.

For the man to be considered as "stepping up" he must fulfill his responsibility to the child AS WELL as the woman who carried and delivered that child for him.
You only focused on the "put out" portion of my statement. It was not meant to be taken literally. That is why i also included "or didn't want to be with the woman anymore". We do leave and in high numbers. But, that in an of itself does not exclude us from being in our child's life. More often than not it is the bitter mother who stands in the way. I am not trying to absolve the deadbeat dads and the part time fathers from their responsibility. I am trying to get you to look at the ENTIRE picture and comment in it.

You did not address the reason for my second post and that was the OBSTACLES. You observe the fatherless children and the automatic assumption is that the fathers are not stepping up. However, when you see a fatherless child you don't consider how many of them have mothers who are PREVENTING the father from being a father. You don't see the numbers of men who are sinking into depression (like my cousin and my friend) because the mothers will not let them see their children, poison the children against their and still accept child support because they KNOW the system offers us no protection or recourse when we are on the unfair end of child visitation.

You throw another variable in the equation when you say we aren't good husbands. That is another matter. But, as for the FATHERS NOT STEPPING UP, if you look that the whole picture you will see that a great many of them who are not in the child's life are ready, willing, and able to be active fathers if only allowed to be. Look at the stats in the court system before you make a determination that we are not stepping up that's all I am asking.

Peace and Love

 

Full Speed

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Sep 7, 2009
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You only focused on the "put out" portion of my statement. It was not meant to be taken literally. That is why i also included "or didn't want to be with the woman anymore". We do leave and in high numbers. But, that in an of itself does not exclude us from being in our child's life. More often than not it is the bitter mother who stands in the way. I am not trying to absolve the deadbeat dads and the part time fathers from their responsibility. I am trying to get you to look at the ENTIRE picture and comment in it.

You did not address the reason for my second post and that was the OBSTACLES. You observe the fatherless children and the automatic assumption is that the fathers are not stepping up. However, when you see a fatherless child you don't consider how many of them have mothers who are PREVENTING the father from being a father. You don't see the numbers of men who are sinking into depression (like my cousin and my friend) because the mothers will not let them see their children, poison the children against their and still accept child support because they KNOW the system offers us no protection or recourse when we are on the unfair end of child visitation.

You throw another variable in the equation when you say we aren't good husbands. That is another matter. But, as for the FATHERS NOT STEPPING UP, if you look that the whole picture you will see that a great many of them who are not in the child's life are ready, willing, and able to be active fathers if only allowed to be. Look at the stats in the court system before you make a determination that we are not stepping up that's all I am asking.

Peace and Love

You and I have different world views. I understand this and am perfectly ok with it. In my world view, "stepping up" means that the man does not conceive a child with a woman that he has not made a lifetime commitment to and he does not change that commitment when it becomes convienient or he "just doesn't want to be with the woman anymore".

My view of responsibility is simple. It takes a man AND a woman to conceive a child, it also takes that same man and woman to provide the optimum environment and nurturing for the life of that child. Creating a child outside of that mindset is irresponsible.

You may think that idealogy is too simplistic for this "complicated" world, but I submit that things only get complicated when idealogies are convoluted.

My world view works for me. One man and one woman, join together under God until death do they part. I understand that every man does not subscribe to this ideology. Therein lies the problem.
 
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