Black People : Address or not address Conflict?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by MsLioness, Dec 22, 2013.

  1. MsLioness

    MsLioness Member MEMBER

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    To address conflict or not address it is the question. When faced with conflict, do you like to address it with the individual and then move forward or do you prefer to sweep it under the rug and then move forward? If you're one of those individuals who prefer addressing before moving forward, what do you do once you've addressed the situation at hand, but it still remains unresolved? Maybe there are huge different in opinions, one or both parties are stubborn, etc. I see so many people who likes to avoid further conflict, so they choose not to address the problem, sweep it under the rug & move forward. A lot of times those same issues come back to bite them in the butt because instead of healing those wounds, bandages were placed on them. Then there are others who refuse to ignore the issues they're facing with others, they feel that it's an absolute MUST to address them, but then when nothing has changed after addressing the issue, they struggle with moving forward. Which one are you & why? And if you have an example/story of how you've handled conflict in the past, please share.
     
  2. Clyde C Coger Jr

    Clyde C Coger Jr going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Excellent Thread MsLioness, I'm sure you'll get plenty responses. There is something very popular out now called "conflict resolution." We would do well to employ the tested skills of resolving conflicts. You've painted the correct picture, outlining how we dance to this music called conflict; and I would like to say I deal with it as you do, looking for a positive outcome and a path forward.



     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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  4. candeesweet

    candeesweet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Deal with it cause it will not go anywhere. Somebody will let the rug up again. Testing testing 1,2.
     
  5. Angela22

    Angela22 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    It depends on the situation, the individuals involved, and such. I address when I feel it's necessary to address, and move on when it's necessary to just move on. No fear for it coming back to bite me, because maybe then it can be addressed properly.
     
  6. Ecks

    Ecks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace, Sister MsLioness,

    Well God (by "God" I mean the Supreme Ruler of the universe) has made me one who avoids conflict as much as possible. For me it depends on the race of the person that I am in conflict with and what the conflict is about. I'm forbearing but when it comes to Whites I am not as forbearing as I am with non-Whites.

    I believe that engaging in conflict can lead to further problems that I would have been better off not having to deal with. Fortunately, my faith in God carries me through the difficulty of sometimes turning away from conflicts.

    Peace & Blessings to you.
    Bro. Ecks
     
  7. libres

    libres Member MEMBER

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    hello! it depend on how important the issue is to me. if it's not that important i'm more likely to let it slide. also depends how important the person is to me. if we have a relationship (friendship or whatever) then i'm more likely to address the conflict because this is someone who matters to me, and i want a positive relationship, which means addressing any problems. i try to approach the conflict positively and respectfully, tho. :)

    question to ecks - why is it you're forbearing with whites but not everyone else?
     
  8. Ecks

    Ecks Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Peace, my Brother.

    No, you read that incorrectly:). I said that I am not as forbearing with Whites as I am with non-Whites. I'm like that because I believe that Whites are Satan.

    Peace.
    Bro. Ecks
     
  9. libres

    libres Member MEMBER

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    oh yeah, i did read that wrong! thanks for the correction. do you literally believe whites are evil tho? and if you do, do you think it's by nature or by nurture?
     
  10. I'm Becoming Me

    I'm Becoming Me Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am one of those people who prefers to address the issue and let the chips fall where they may. I have no problem with confrontation and dealing with problems head on.

    The people who know me best will tell you that they either really respect this side of me, or either sometimes it makes them very uncomfortable. What really matters most to me is my peace of mind, even though I will work toward peace for all involved.

    I am a peacemaker, and peacemakers can also be seen as confrontational and controversial at times, but in reality I really am trying to bring peace and balance back into a situation. So, even if something does not turn out how I hoped it would after addressing an issue, that is fine and I can live with that, but I can't live with knowing I never attempted to resolve it.

    So, if that means I have to confront and/or seemingly go to war for it, (my peace of mind) I will.
     
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