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- Jul 2, 2003
- 5,995
- 1,025
I don’t think one can clearly distinguish the difference. To be tolerated is sad. It means that I am only there, because of pressure from external elements not related directly to me. It also means that I am being tolerated to keep a peace of some kind.
I personally would not be tolerated. I want acceptance or nothing.
Like Queen stated. It really doesn’t affect me or enter my mind. But to be accepted is a human experience. If I have to do the work I want to be included in a discussion, being invited to participate with an opinion that is respected and considered. Blacks want to be heard and taken serious, and we know that doesn’t happen much. That is why we feel we are the invisible ones. It's a feeling that makes you feel like your standing there, but a clear wall of glass is separating what you say, and contribute out of the ears of those who want the glory and credit.
I have experienced this when whites have competed for projects, and I'm on the side of the underdog supervisor. I laughed when they had to come back to the underdog, and have this black man save their A** again. I shared with my supervisor how I felt about the situation, and there was nothing he could change, but he knew they were wrong and became a better man because of the attitude and approach I took. I recall one incident where the other supervisors tried to get their technicians into engineering on a new product, but all failed. They couldn't find a candidate on the outside that was acceptable to engineering. I found the want ad, advertising this issue. They then came to me and told me I had to interview. I first took offense, and told my supervisor I wasn't interested because of how it was done. They clearly wanted to have one of their boys in charge of this project. It was one of the biggest the company had ever taken on as a project. This meant that my supervisor the underdog, would now be in the spot light and they worked in concert against him, and asking me until they had no choice. After the project was completed I did get shafted, and so did my supervisor. I got relieved of the project, and sent back to my old position that was taken by another. By this time I had enough. I spoke up, and they quickly slated me for termination and discrimination. I sued. I won. Because I won't be discriminated against and taken for granted. I won't be ignored. Fear of termination took second base, it doesn't scare me.
For many patience break down quick, especially when we know we are being ignored. Those not apt in accepting rejection will turn to anger and cursing after they sense a lack of acceptance. Their influence is diluted if this course is taken during a debate or discussion.
Things have to hit the other party square in the face. If a decision my employer or anyone else made didn’t affect me directly, and it was their bed they had to lay in if it was left unmade. I make my point and rest. After the problem comes up again I’m faced with should I now say; “I told you so.”
I have never exercised that option. It wouldn't buy me anything. I knew in my mind and heart that I was right. I knew I won. They knew when they faced me again I won also.
I have had on occasion said something in meetings that was discounted. I let it ride. I didn’t take offense, but rode with the ridicule of the moment. Knowing I knew what waited over the horizon. I looked those same people in the eye when they came back, had to admit and said, I was correct.
I should have been taken serious when I gave my opinion. I never held back. I challenged VP’s and subordinates. I said what was on my mind and gave my opinion, under laughter and ridicule from those I clearly knew hated my inclusion. This has irritated many I have worked with in the past. Some wouldn’t admit openly they were wrong, but came to me later when things hit the fan to request I participate in fixing the issue since I saw it and knew how and why it happened.
I didn’t rub it back in their face, by not doing so I did gain strong and powerful advocates in all other meetings.
I personally would not be tolerated. I want acceptance or nothing.
Like Queen stated. It really doesn’t affect me or enter my mind. But to be accepted is a human experience. If I have to do the work I want to be included in a discussion, being invited to participate with an opinion that is respected and considered. Blacks want to be heard and taken serious, and we know that doesn’t happen much. That is why we feel we are the invisible ones. It's a feeling that makes you feel like your standing there, but a clear wall of glass is separating what you say, and contribute out of the ears of those who want the glory and credit.
I have experienced this when whites have competed for projects, and I'm on the side of the underdog supervisor. I laughed when they had to come back to the underdog, and have this black man save their A** again. I shared with my supervisor how I felt about the situation, and there was nothing he could change, but he knew they were wrong and became a better man because of the attitude and approach I took. I recall one incident where the other supervisors tried to get their technicians into engineering on a new product, but all failed. They couldn't find a candidate on the outside that was acceptable to engineering. I found the want ad, advertising this issue. They then came to me and told me I had to interview. I first took offense, and told my supervisor I wasn't interested because of how it was done. They clearly wanted to have one of their boys in charge of this project. It was one of the biggest the company had ever taken on as a project. This meant that my supervisor the underdog, would now be in the spot light and they worked in concert against him, and asking me until they had no choice. After the project was completed I did get shafted, and so did my supervisor. I got relieved of the project, and sent back to my old position that was taken by another. By this time I had enough. I spoke up, and they quickly slated me for termination and discrimination. I sued. I won. Because I won't be discriminated against and taken for granted. I won't be ignored. Fear of termination took second base, it doesn't scare me.
For many patience break down quick, especially when we know we are being ignored. Those not apt in accepting rejection will turn to anger and cursing after they sense a lack of acceptance. Their influence is diluted if this course is taken during a debate or discussion.
Things have to hit the other party square in the face. If a decision my employer or anyone else made didn’t affect me directly, and it was their bed they had to lay in if it was left unmade. I make my point and rest. After the problem comes up again I’m faced with should I now say; “I told you so.”
I have never exercised that option. It wouldn't buy me anything. I knew in my mind and heart that I was right. I knew I won. They knew when they faced me again I won also.
I have had on occasion said something in meetings that was discounted. I let it ride. I didn’t take offense, but rode with the ridicule of the moment. Knowing I knew what waited over the horizon. I looked those same people in the eye when they came back, had to admit and said, I was correct.
I should have been taken serious when I gave my opinion. I never held back. I challenged VP’s and subordinates. I said what was on my mind and gave my opinion, under laughter and ridicule from those I clearly knew hated my inclusion. This has irritated many I have worked with in the past. Some wouldn’t admit openly they were wrong, but came to me later when things hit the fan to request I participate in fixing the issue since I saw it and knew how and why it happened.
I didn’t rub it back in their face, by not doing so I did gain strong and powerful advocates in all other meetings.
Don't most Black women love their sons no matter what and keep them close to "their apron strings"?
