Black People : Accepted or Tolerated ?

Jan 22, 2001
betwixt and between
Website Consultant
Hello Family,

How do you know if a person (white) has accepted you as an equal or if they are tolerating you?

This question came out of Brother OldSoul's class today, and i was wondering if any of you have the answer.

Can you tell the difference between being accepted or tolerated, and if so, please tell us how to know the difference.





Well-Known Member
Mar 10, 2004
ATL SHAWTY! Mr. Coli Park
Technical Analyst
Well for the one white close friend that I have. He never looked at me in an inferior manner, if anything he did not understand me. Once he got comfortable with me he respected me as a human and a person and vice versa.


Active Member
Oct 16, 2004
I have several close friends who are white and I feel as if they accept me because they've always just treated me as an individual and have never excluded me in any type of way. They've tolerated me as well because I can be somewhat of a pain at times like anyone else.

I do think that I've experienced the "tolerated" experiences in the work place. I think this because there are certain people who will laugh and joke, but there's never that feeling of the exchanges being genuine. And there have been times when co-workers have even shown surprise when I don't seem to fit into whatever box they've automatically placed me in. Like when I know of a restaurant or know more about the artist of the piece that hangs on their office wall. Actually had one experience that ended up in calling the museum because a boss refused to believe that he was saying the artist's name incorrectly.

Don't have the "answer", but these are just my thoughts from what I've experienced.


going above and beyond
Feb 9, 2001

This is an interesting question and one that when I thought about it, caused me to look at it differently. How do I know whether I'm being accepted or tolerated by whites as a Black person? Hmmmm...I guess I don't know and frankly, don't really care. There may have been a time when I thought it was important to wonder about this, but gosh, that was probably during the time when my mind was controlled by racist opinions and that hasn't been the case in soooooo long, this question never even occurs to me.

To think about whether I'm being accepted or tolerated sends a message to me that I'm on the outside or different than anyone else and so I should care about what others not like me think of me. I'm really not curious about how white people or anyone thinks of me. More importantly to me is how I'm treated. That's because my mind has been strengthened through knowledge and awareness.

Queenie :spinstar:
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